No. 563. Monday, July 5, 1714.
"--Magni nominis Umbra--"
Lucan.
I shall entertain my Reader with two very curious Letters. The first of them comes from a chimerical Person, who I believe never writ to any Body before.
SIR,
"I am descended from the Ancient Family of the _Blanks_, a Name well known among all Men of Business. It is always read in those little white s.p.a.ces of Writing which want to be filled up, and which for that Reason are called _blank_ s.p.a.ces, as of right appertaining to our Family: For I consider my self as the Lord of a Mannor, who lays his Claim to all Wastes or Spots of Ground that are unappropriated. I am a near Kinsman to _John a Styles_ and _John a Nokes_; and they, I am told, came in with the Conquerour. I am mentioned oftner in both Houses of Parliament than any other Person in Great Britain. My Name is written, or more properly speaking, not written, thus, .
I am one that can turn my Hand to every thing, and appear under any Shape whatsoever. I can make my self Man, Woman, or Child. I am sometimes metamorphosed into a Year of our Lord, a Day of the Month, or an Hour of the Day. I very often represent a Sum of Mony, and am generally the first Subsidy that is granted to the Crown. I have now and then supplied the Place of several Thousands of Land Soldiers, and have as frequently been employed in the Sea Service.
"Now, Sir, my Complaint is this, that I am only made use of to serve a Turn, being always discarded as soon as a proper Person is found out to fill up my Place.
"If you have ever been in the Play-house before the Curtain rises, you see most of the Front Boxes filled with Men of my Family, who forthwith turn out and resign their Stations upon the Appearance of those for whom they are retained.
"But the most ill.u.s.trious Branch of the _Blanks_ are those who are planted in high Posts, till such time as Persons of greater Consequence can be found out to supply them. One of these _Blanks_ is equally qualified for all Offices; he can serve in time of Need for a Soldier, a Politician, a Lawyer, or what you please. I have known in my Time many a Brother _Blank_ that has been born under a lucky Planet, heap up great Riches, and swell into a Man of Figure and Importance, before the Grandees of his Party could agree among themselves which of them should step into his Place. Nay, I have known a _Blank_ continue so long in one of these vacant Posts, (for such it is to be reckoned all the Time a _Blank_ is in it) that he has grown too formidable and dangerous to be removed.
"But to return to my self, since I am so very commodious a Person, and so very necessary in all well-regulated Governments, I desire you will take my Case into Consideration, that I may be no longer made a Tool of, and only employed to stop a Gap. Such Usage, without a Pun, makes me look very blank. For all which Reasons I humbly recommend my self to your Protection, and am _Your most obedient Servant_,
"Blank.
"P.S. I herewith send you a Paper, drawn up by a Country Attorney employed by two Gentlemen, whose Names he was not acquainted with, and who did not think fit to let him into the Secret which they were transacting. I heard him call it a Blank Instrument, and read it after the following Manner. You may see by this single Instance of what Use I am to the busy World.
"_I_ T. Blank, _Esq., of_ Blank _Town, in the County of_ Blank, _do own my self indebted in the Sum of_ Blank, _to Goodman_ Blank, _for the Service he did me in procuring for me the Goods following,_ Blank: _And I do hereby promise the said_ Blank _to pay unto him the said Sum of_ Blank, _on the_ Blank _Day of the Month of_ Blank _next ensuing, under the Penalty and Forfeiture of_ Blank.
I shall take Time to consider the Case of this my imaginary Correspondent, and in the mean while shall present my Reader with a Letter which seems to come from a Person that is made up of Flesh and Blood.
_Good Mr._ SPECTATOR,
"I am married to a very honest Gentleman that is exceedingly good-natured, and at the same time very cholerick. There is no standing before him when he is in a Pa.s.sion; but as soon as it is over he is the best-humour"d Creature in the World. When he is angry, he breaks all my China-Ware that chances to lie in his Way, and the next Morning sends me in twice as much as he broke the Day before. I may positively say, that he has broke me a Child"s Fortune since we were first marry"d together.
"As soon as he begins to fret, down goes every thing that is within Reach of his Cane. I once prevailed upon him never to carry a Stick in his Hand, but this saved me nothing; for upon seeing me do something that did not please him, he kicked down a great Jarr, that cost him above Ten Pound but the Week before. I then laid the Fragments together in a Heap, and gave him his Cane again, desiring him that if he chanced to be in Anger, he would spend his Pa.s.sion upon the China that was broke to his Hand: But the very next Day upon my giving a wrong Message to one of the Servants, he flew into such a Rage, that he swept down a Dozen Tea-Dishes, which, to my Misfortune, stood very convenient for a Side-Blow.
I then removed all my China into a Room which he never frequents; but I got nothing by this neither, for my Looking-Gla.s.ses immediately went to Rack.
"In short, Sir, whenever he is in a Pa.s.sion he is angry at every thing that is brittle; and if on such Occasions he had nothing to vent his Rage upon, I do not know whether my Bones would be in Safety. Let me beg of you, Sir, to let me know whether there be any Cure for this unaccountable Distemper; or if not, that you will be pleased to publish this Letter: For my Husband having a great Veneration for your Writings, will by that means know you do not approve of his Conduct. I am,
Your most humble Servant, &c.
No. 564. Wednesday, July 7, 1714.
"--Adsit Regula, peccatis quae poenas irroget aequas: Ne Scutica dignum horribili sectere flagello."
Hor.
It is the Work of a Philosopher to be every Day subduing his Pa.s.sions, and laying aside his Prejudices. I endeavour at least to look upon Men and their Actions only as an impartial Spectator, without any regard to them as they happen to advance or cross my own private Interest. But while I am thus employed my self, I cannot help observing, how those about me suffer themselves to be blinded by Prejudice and Inclination, how readily they p.r.o.nounce on every Man"s Character, which they can give in two Words, and make him either good for nothing, or qualified for every thing. On the contrary, those who search thoroughly into humane Nature, will find it much more difficult to determine the Value of their Fellow-Creatures, and that Mens Characters are not thus to be given in general Words. There is indeed no such thing as a Person entirely good or bad; Virtue and Vice are blended and mixed together, in a greater or less Proportion, in every one; and if you would search for some particular good Quality in its most eminent Degree of Perfection, you will often find it in a Mind, where it is darkned and eclipsed by an hundred other irregular Pa.s.sions.
Men have either no Character at all, says a celebrated Author, or it is that of being inconsistent with themselves. They find it easier to join Extremities, than to be uniform and of a Piece. This is finely ill.u.s.trated in _Xenophon"s_ Life of _Cyrus_ the Great. That Author tells us, that _Cyrus_ having taken a most beautiful Lady named _Panthea_, the Wife of _Abradatas_, committed her to the Custody of _Araspas_, a young _Persian_ n.o.bleman, who had a little before maintain"d in Discourse, that a Mind truly virtuous was incapable of entertaining an unlawful Pa.s.sion. The young Gentleman had not long been in Possession of his fair Captive, when a Complaint was made to _Cyrus_, that he not only sollicited the Lady _Panthea_ to receive him in the Room of her absent Husband, but that finding his Entreaties had no Effect, he was preparing to make use of Force. _Cyrus_, who loved the young Man, immediately sent for him, and in a gentle Manner representing to him his Fault, and putting him in Mind of his former a.s.sertion, the unhappy Youth, confounded with a quick Sense of his Guilt and Shame, burst out into a Flood of Tears, and spoke as follows.
_Oh_ Cyrus, _I am convinced that I hare two Souls. Love has taught me this Piece of Philosophy. If I had but one Soul, it could not at the same time pant after Virtue and Vice, wish and abhor the same thing. It is certain therefore we have two Souls: When the good Soul rules, I undertake n.o.ble and virtuous Actions; but when the bad Soul predominates, I am forced to do Evil. All I can say at present is, that I find my good Soul, encouraged by your Presence, has got the Better of my bad_.
I know not whether my Readers will allow of this Piece of Philosophy; but if they will not, they must confess we meet with as different Pa.s.sions in one and the same Soul, as can be supposed in two. We can hardly read the Life of a great Man who lived in former Ages, or converse with any who is eminent among our Contemporaries, that is not an Instance of what I am saying.
But as I have hitherto only argued against the Partiality and Injustice of giving our Judgment upon Men in gross, who are such a Composition of Virtues and Vices, of Good and Evil; I might carry this Reflection still farther, and make it extend to most of their Actions. If on the one Hand, we fairly weighed every Circ.u.mstance, we should frequently find them obliged to do that Action we at first sight condemn, in order to avoid another we should have been much more displeased with. If on the other Hand we nicely examined such Actions as appear most dazzling to the Eye, we should find most of them either deficient and lame in several Parts, produced by a bad Ambition, or directed to an ill End.
The very same Action may sometimes be so oddly circ.u.mstanced, that it is difficult to determine whether it ought to be rewarded or punish"d.
Those who compiled the Laws of _England_ were so sensible of this, that they have laid it down as one of their first Maxims, _It is better suffering a Mischief than an Inconvenience_; which is as much as to say in other Words, That since no Law can take in or provide for all Cases, it is better private Men should have some Injustice done them, than that a public Grievance should not be redressed. This is usually pleaded in Defence of all those Hardships which fall on particular Persons in particular Occasions, which could not be foreseen when a Law was made.
To remedy this however as much as possible, the Court of Chancery was erected, which frequently mitigates and breaks the Teeth of the Common Law, in Cases of Men"s Properties, while in Criminal Cases there is a Power of pardoning still lodged in the Crown.
Notwithstanding this, it is perhaps impossible in a large Government to distribute Rewards and Punishments strictly proportioned to the Merits of every Action. The _Spartan_ Commonwealth was indeed wonderfully exact in this Particular; and I do not remember in all my Reading to have met with so nice an Example of Justice as that recorded by _Plutarch_, with which I shall close my Paper for this Day.
The City of _Sparta_ being unexpectedly attacked by a powerful Army of _Thebans_, was in very great Danger of falling into the Hands of their Enemies. The Citizens suddenly gathering themselves into a Body, fought with a Resolution equal to the Necessity of their Affairs, yet no one so remarkably distinguished himself on this Occasion, to the Amazement of both Armies, as _Isadas_ the Son of _Phoebidas_, who was at that time in the Bloom of his Youth, and very remarkable for the Comeliness of his Person. He was coming out of the Bath when the Alarm was given, so that he had not time to put on his Cloaths, much less his Armour; however transported with a Desire to serve his Country in so great an Exigency, s.n.a.t.c.hing up a Spear in one Hand, and a Sword in the other, he flung himself into the thickest Ranks of his Enemies. Nothing could withstand his Fury: in what Part soever he fought he put the Enemies to Flight without receiving a single Wound. Whether, says _Plutarch_, he was the particular Care of some G.o.d, who rewarded his Valour that Day with an extraordinary Protection, or, that his Enemies, struck with the Unusualness of his Dress, and Beauty of his Shape, supposed him something more than Man, I shall not determine.
The Gallantry of this Action was judged so great by the _Spartans_, that the _Ephori_, or chief Magistrates, decreed he should be presented with a Garland; but as soon as they had done so, fined him a thousand Drachmas for going out to the Battle unarmed.