"I can only speak for myself. There was a time when I felt that marriage was the inevitable fate of all respectable people. Some one wanted me to marry a certain some one else. I didn"t seem to care much about it; but my friend was one of those natural-born match-makers; she talked the young lady up to me in such a shape that I almost fancied myself in love and actually began to feel that I"d be doing her an injustice if I permitted her to go on loving and longing for the rest of her days. So one day I wrote her a proposal; it was the kind of proposal one might decline without injuring a fellow"s feelings in the least--and she did it!" After a thoughtful pause he continued:
"By Jove! But wasn"t I immensely relieved when her letter came; such a nice, dear, good letter it was, too, in which she a.s.sured me there had evidently been a mistake somewhere, and nothing had been further from her thoughts than the hope of marrying me. So she let me down most beautifully----"
"And offered to be a sister to you?"
"Perhaps; I don"t remember now; I always felt embarra.s.sed after that when her name was mentioned. I couldn"t help thinking what an infernal a.s.s I"d made of myself."
"It was all the fault of your friend."
"Of course it was; I"d never have dreamed of proposing to her if I hadn"t been put up to it by the match-maker. Oh, what a lot of miserable marriages are brought on in just this way! You see when I like a girl ever so much, I seem to like her too well to marry her. I think it would be mean of me to marry her."
"Why?"
"Because--because I"d get tired after a while; everybody does, sooner or later,--everybody save your Mama and Eugene,--and then I"d say something or do something I ought not to say or do, and I"d hate myself for it; or she"d say something or do something that would make me hate her. We might, of course, get over it and be very nice to one another; but we could never be quite the same again. Wounds leave scars, and you can"t forget a scar--can you?"
"You may scar too easily!"
"I suppose I do, and that is the very best reason why I should avoid the occasion of one."
"So you have resolved never to marry?"
"Oh, I"ve resolved it a thousand times, and yet, somehow, I"m forever meeting some one a little out of the common; some one who takes me by storm, as it were; some one who seems to me a kind of revelation, and then I feel as if I must marry her whether or no; sometimes I fear I shall wake up and find myself married in spite of myself--wouldn"t that be frightful?"
"Frightful indeed--and then you"d have to get used to it, just as most married people get used to it in the course of time. You know it"s a very matter-of-fact world we live in, and it takes very matter-of-fact people to keep it in good running order."
"Yes. But for these drudges, these hewers of wood and drawers of water, that ideal pair yonder could not go on painting and embroidering things of beauty with nothing but the b.u.t.terflies to bother them."
"b.u.t.terflies don"t bother; they open new vistas of beauty, and they set examples that it would do the world good to follow; the b.u.t.terfly says, "my mission is to be brilliant and jolly and to take no thought of the morrow.""
"It"s the thought of the morrow, Miss. Juno, that spoils today for me,--that morrow--who is going to pay the rent of it? Who is going to keep it in food and clothes?"
"Paul, you have already lived and loved, where there is no rent to pay and where the clothing worn is not worth mentioning; as for the food and the drink in that delectable land, nature provides them both. I don"t see why you need to take thought of the morrow; all you have to do is to take pa.s.sage for some South Sea Island, and let the world go by."
"But the price of the ticket, my friend; where is that to come from? To be sure I"m only a bachelor, and have none but myself to consider. What would I do if I had a wife and family to provide for?"
"You"d do as most other fellows in the same predicament do; you"d provide for them as well as you could; and if that wasn"t sufficient, you"d desert them, or blow your brains out and leave them to provide for themselves."
"An old bachelor is a rather comfortable old party. I"m satisfied with my manifest destiny; but I"m rather sorry for old maids--aren"t you?"
"That depends; of course everything in life depends; some of the most beautiful, the most blessed, the most bountifully happy women I have ever known were old maids; I propose to be one myself--if I live long enough!"
After an interlude, during which the bees boomed among the honey-blossoms, the birds caroled on the boughs, and the two artists laughed softly as they chatted at their delightful work, Paul resumed:
"Do you know, Miss. Juno, this anti-climax strikes me as being exceedingly funny? When I met you the other day, I felt as if I"d met my fate. I know well enough that I"d felt that way often before, and promptly recovered from the attack. I certainly never felt it in the same degree until I came face to face with you. I was never quite so fairly and squarely face to face with any one before. I came here because I could not help myself. I simply had to come, and to come at once. I was resolved to propose to you and to marry you without a cent, if you"d let me. I didn"t expect that you"d let me, but I felt it my duty to find out. I"m dead sure that I was very much in love with you--and I am now; but somehow it isn"t that spoony sort of love that makes a man unwholesome and sometimes drives him to drink or to suicide.
I suppose I love you too well to want to marry you; but G.o.d knows how glad I am that we have met, and I hope that we shall never really part again."
"Paul!"--Miss. Juno"s rather too pallid cheeks were slightly tinged with rose; she seemed more than ever to belong to that fair garden, to have become a part of it, in fact;--"Paul," said she, earnestly enough, "you"re an awfully good fellow, and I like you so much; I shall always like you; but if you had been fool enough to propose to me I should have despised you. Shake!" And she extended a most shapely hand that clasped his warmly and firmly. While he still held it without restraint, he added:
"Why I like you so much is because you are unlike other girls; that is to say, you"re perfectly natural."
"Most people who think me unlike other girls, think me unnatural for that reason. It is hard to be natural, isn"t it?"
"Why, no, I think it is the easiest thing in the world to be natural.
I"m as natural as I can be, or as anybody can be."
"And yet I"ve heard you p.r.o.nounced a bundle of affectations."
"I know that--it"s been said in my hearing, but I don"t care in the least; it is natural for the perfectly natural person _not_ to care in the least."
"I think, perhaps, it is easier for boys to be natural, than for girls,"
said Miss. Juno.
"Yes, boys are naturally more natural," replied Paul with much confidence.
Miss. Juno smiled an amused smile.
Paul resumed--"I hardly ever knew a girl who didn"t wish herself a boy.
Did you ever see a boy who wanted to be a girl?"
"I"ve seen some who ought to have been girls--and who would have made very droll girls. I know an old gentleman who used to bewail the degeneracy of the age and exclaim in despair, "Boys will be girls!""
laughed Miss. Juno.
"Horrible thought! But why is it that girlish boys are so unpleasant while tom-boys are delightful?"
"I don"t know," replied she, "unless the girlish boy has lost the charm of his s.e.x, that is manliness; and the tom-boy has lost the defect of hers--a kind of selfish dependence."
"I"m sure the girls like you, don"t they?"" he added.
"Not always; and there are lots of girls I can"t endure!"
"I"ve noticed that women who are most admired by women are seldom popular with men; and that the women the men go wild over are little appreciated by their own s.e.x," said Paul.
"Yes, I"ve noticed that; as for myself my best friends are masculine; but when I was away at boarding-school my chum, who was immensely popular, used to call me Jack!"
"How awfully jolly; may I call you "Jack" and will you be my chum?"
"Of course I will; but what idiots the world would think us."
"Who cares?" cried he defiantly. "There are millions of fellows this very moment who would give their all for such a pal as you are--Jack!"
There was a fluttering among the b.u.t.terflies; the artists had risen and were standing waist-deep in the garden of gracious things; they were coming to Paul and Miss. Juno, and in amusing pantomime announcing that pangs of hunger were compelling their return to the cottage; the truth is, it was long past the lunch hour--and a large music-box which had been set in motion when the light repast was laid had failed to catch the ear with its tinkling aria.
All four of the occupants of the garden turned leisurely toward the cottage. Miss. Juno had rested her hand on Paul"s shoulder and said in a delightfully confidential way: "Let it be a secret that we are chums, dear boy--the world is such an idiot."
"All right, Jack," whispered Paul, trying to hug himself in delight, "Little secrets are cozy.""
And in the scent of the roses it was duly embalmed.