"You know nothing--and you must go and wait! You mustn"t break down at this point."
He looked about him and took up his hat: it was as if, in spite of frustration, he had got the essence of what he wanted and could afford to agree with her to the extent of keeping up the forms. He covered her with his fine, simple smile, but made no other approach. "Oh, I"m so awfully happy!" he exclaimed.
She hesitated: she would only be impeccable even though she should have to be sententious. "You"ll be happy if you"re perfect!" she risked.
He laughed out at this, and she wondered if, with a new-born acuteness, he saw the absurdity of her speech, and that no one was happy just because no one could be what she so lightly prescribed. "I don"t pretend to be perfect, but I shall find a letter to-night!"
"So much the better, if it"s the kind of one you desire." That was the most she could say, and having made it sound as dry as possible she lapsed into a silence so pointed as to deprive him of all pretext for not leaving her. Still, nevertheless, he stood there, playing with his hat and filling the long pause with a strained and anxious smile. He wished to obey her thoroughly, to appear not to presume on any advantage he had won from her; but there was clearly something he longed for beside. While he showed this by hanging on she thought of two other things. One of these was that his countenance, after all, failed to bear out his description of his bliss. As for the other, it had no sooner come into her head than she found it seated, in spite of her resolution, on her lips. It took the form of an inconsequent question. "When did you say Mrs. Brigstock was to have gone back?"
Owen stared. "To Waterbath? She was to have spent the night in town, don"t you know? But when she left me, after our talk, I said to myself that she would take an evening train. I know I made her want to get home."
"Where did you separate?" Fleda asked.
"At the West Kensington station--she was going to Victoria. I had walked with her there, and our talk was all on the way."
Fleda pondered a moment. "If she did go back that night you would have heard from Waterbath by this time."
"I don"t know," said Owen. "I thought I might hear this morning."
"She can"t have gone back," Fleda declared. "Mona would have written on the spot."
"Oh yes, she _will_ have written bang off!" Owen cheerfully conceded.
Fleda thought again. "Then, even in the event of her mother"s not having got home till the morning, you would have had your letter at the latest to-day. You see she has had plenty of time."
Owen hesitated; then, "Oh, she"s all right!" he laughed. "I go by Mrs.
Brigstock"s certain effect on her--the effect of the temper the old lady showed when we parted. Do you know what she asked me?" he sociably continued. "She asked me in a kind of nasty manner if I supposed you "really" cared anything about me. Of course I told her I supposed you didn"t--not a solitary rap. How could I suppose you _do_, with your extraordinary ways? It doesn"t matter; I could see she thought I lied."
"You should have told her, you know, that I had seen you in town only that one time," Fleda observed.
"By Jove, I did--for _you_! It was only for you."
Something in this touched the girl so that for a moment she could not trust herself to speak. "You"re an honest man," she said at last. She had gone to the door and opened it. "Good-bye."
Even yet, however, he hung back; and she remembered how, at the end of his hour at Ricks, she had been put to it to get him out of the house.
He had in general a sort of cheerful slowness which helped him at such times, though she could now see his strong fist crumple his big, stiff gloves as if they had been paper. "But even if there"s no letter--" he began. He began, but there he left it.
"You mean, even if she doesn"t let you off? Ah, you ask me too much!"
Fleda spoke from the tiny hall, where she had taken refuge between the old barometer and the old mackintosh. "There are things too utterly for yourselves alone. How can I tell? What do I know? Good-bye, good-bye! If she doesn"t let you off, it will be because she _is_ attached to you."
"She"s not, she"s not: there"s nothing in it! Doesn"t a fellow know?--except with _you_!" Owen ruefully added. With this he came out of the room, lowering his voice to secret supplication, pleading with her really to meet him on the ground of the negation of Mona. It was this betrayal of his need of support and sanction that made her retreat--harden herself in the effort to save what might remain of all she had given, given probably for nothing. The very vision of him as he thus morally clung to her was the vision of a weakness somewhere in the core of his bloom, a blessed manly weakness of which, if she had only the valid right, it would be all a sweetness to take care. She faintly sickened, however, with the sense that there was as yet no valid right poor Owen could give. "You can take it from my honor, you know," he whispered, "that she loathes me."
Fleda had stood clutching the k.n.o.b of Maggie"s little painted stair-rail; she took, on the stairs, a step backward. "Why then doesn"t she prove it in the only clear way?"
"She _has_ proved it. Will you believe it if you see the letter?"
"I don"t want to see any letter," said Fleda. "You"ll miss your train."
Facing him, waving him away, she had taken another upward step; but he sprang to the side of the stairs and brought his hand, above the banister, down hard on her wrist. "Do you mean to tell me that I must marry a woman I hate?"
From her step she looked down into his raised face. "Ah, you see it"s not true that you"re free!" She seemed almost to exult. "It"s not true--it"s not true!"
He only, at this, like a buffeting swimmer, gave a shake of his head and repeated his question. "Do you mean to tell me I must marry such a woman?"
Fleda hesitated; he held her fast. "No. Anything is better than that."
"Then, in G.o.d"s name, what must I do?"
"You must settle that with her. You mustn"t break faith. Anything is better than that. You must at any rate be utterly sure. She _must_ love you--how can she help it? _I_ wouldn"t give you up!" said Fleda. She spoke in broken bits, panting out her words. "The great thing is to keep faith. Where _is_ a man if he doesn"t? If he doesn"t he may be so cruel.
So cruel, so cruel, so cruel!" Fleda repeated. "I couldn"t have a hand in _that_, you know: that"s my position--that"s mine. You offered her marriage: it"s a tremendous thing for her." Then looking at him another moment, "_I_ wouldn"t give you up!" she said again. He still had hold of her arm; she took in his blank alarm. With a quick dip of her face she reached his hand with her lips, pressing them to the back of it with a force that doubled the force of her words. "Never, never, never!" she cried; and before he could succeed in seizing her she had turned and, scrambling up the stairs, got away from him even faster than she had got away from him at Ricks.
XVII
Ten days after his visit she received a communication from Mrs.
Gereth--a telegram of eight words, exclusive of signature and date.
"Come up immediately and stay with me here"--it was characteristically sharp, as Maggie said; but, as Maggie added, it was also characteristically kind. "Here" was an hotel in London, and Maggie had embraced a condition of life which already began to produce in her some yearning for hotels in London. She would have responded in an instant, and she was surprised that her sister seemed to hesitate. Fleda"s hesitation, which lasted but an hour, was expressed in that young lady"s own mind by the reflection that in obeying her friend"s summons she shouldn"t know what she should be "in for." Her friend"s summons, however, was but another name for her friend"s appeal; and Mrs. Gereth"s bounty had laid her under obligations more sensible than any reluctance.
In the event--that is at the end of her hour--she testified to her grat.i.tude by taking the train and to her mistrust by leaving her luggage. She went as if she had gone up for the day. In the train, however, she had another thoughtful hour, during which it was her mistrust that mainly deepened. She felt as if for ten days she had sat in darkness, looking to the east for a dawn that had not yet glimmered.
Her mind had lately been less occupied with Mrs. Gereth; it had been so exceptionally occupied with Mona. If the sequel was to justify Owen"s prevision of Mrs. Brigstock"s action upon her daughter, this action was at the end of a week as much a mystery as ever. The stillness, all round, had been exactly what Fleda desired, but it gave her for the time a deep sense of failure, the sense of a sudden drop from a height at which she had all things beneath her. She had nothing beneath her now; she herself was at the bottom of the heap. No sign had reached her from Owen--poor Owen, who had clearly no news to give about his precious letter from Waterbath. If Mrs. Brigstock had hurried back to obtain that this letter should be written, Mrs. Brigstock might then have spared herself so great an inconvenience. Owen had been silent for the best of all reasons--the reason that he had had nothing in life to say. If the letter had not been written he would simply have had to introduce some large qualification into his account of his freedom. He had left his young friend under her refusal to listen to him until he should be able, on the contrary, to extend that picture; and his present submission was all in keeping with the rigid honesty that his young friend had prescribed.
It was this that formed the element through which Mona loomed large; Fleda had enough imagination, a fine enough feeling for life, to be impressed with such an image of successful immobility. The ma.s.sive maiden at Waterbath _was_ successful from the moment she could entertain her resentments as if they had been poor relations who needn"t put her to expense. She was a magnificent dead weight; there was something positive and portentous in her quietude. "What game are they all playing?" poor Fleda could only ask; for she had an intimate conviction that Owen was now under the roof of his betrothed. That was stupefying if he really hated Mona; and if he didn"t really hate her what had brought him to Raphael Road and to Maggie"s? Fleda had no real light, but she felt that to account for the absence of any result of their last meeting would take a supposition of the full sacrifice to charity that she had held up before him. If he had gone to Waterbath it had been simply because he had to go. She had as good as told him that he would have to go; that this was an inevitable incident of his keeping perfect faith--faith so literal that the smallest subterfuge would always be a reproach to him. When she tried to remember that it was for herself he was taking his risk, she felt how weak a way that was of expressing Mona"s supremacy. There would be no need of keeping him up if there were nothing to keep him up to. Her eyes grew wan as she discerned in the impenetrable air that Mona"s thick outline never wavered an inch. She wondered fitfully what Mrs. Gereth had by this time made of it, and reflected with a strange elation that the sand on which the mistress of Ricks had built a momentary triumph was quaking beneath the surface. As The Morning Post still held its peace, she would be, of course, more confident; but the hour was at hand at which Owen would have absolutely to do either one thing or the other. To keep perfect faith was to inform against his mother, and to hear the police at her door would be Mrs.
Gereth"s awakening. How much she was beguiled Fleda could see from her having been for a whole month quite as deep and dark as Mona. She had let her young friend alone because of the cert.i.tude, cultivated at Ricks, that Owen had done the opposite. He had done the opposite indeed, but much good had that brought forth! To have sent for her now, Fleda felt, was from this point of view wholly natural: she had sent for her to show at last how much she had scored. If, however, Owen was really at Waterbath the refutation of that boast was easy.
Fleda found Mrs. Gereth in modest apartments and with an air of fatigue in her distinguished face--a sign, as she privately remarked, of the strain of that effort to be discreet of which she herself had been having the benefit. It was a constant feature of their relation that this lady could make Fleda blench a little, and that the effect proceeded from the intense pressure of her confidence. If the confidence had been heavy even when the girl, in the early flush of devotion, had been able to feel herself most responsive, it drew her heart into her mouth now that she had reserves and conditions, now that she couldn"t simplify with the same bold hand as her protectress. In the very brightening of the tired look, and at the moment of their embrace, Fleda felt on her shoulders the return of the load, so that her spirit frankly quailed as she asked herself what she had brought up from her trusted seclusion to support it. Mrs. Gereth"s free manner always made a joke of weakness, and there was in such a welcome a richness, a kind of familiar n.o.bleness, that suggested shame to a harried conscience. Something had happened, she could see, and she could also see, in the bravery that seemed to announce it had changed everything, a formidable a.s.sumption that what had happened was what a healthy young woman must like. The absence of luggage had made this young woman feel meagre even before her companion, taking in the bareness at a second glance, exclaimed upon it and roundly rebuked her. Of course she had expected her to stay.
Fleda thought best to show bravery too, and to show it from the first.
"What you expected, dear Mrs. Gereth, is exactly what I came up to ascertain. It struck me as right to do that first. I mean to ascertain, without making preparations."
"Then you"ll be so good as to make them on the spot!" Mrs. Gereth was most emphatic. "You"re going abroad with me."
Fleda wondered, but she also smiled. "To-night--to-morrow?"
"In as few days as possible. That"s all that"s left for me now." Fleda"s heart, at this, gave a bound; she wondered to what particular difference in Mrs. Gereth"s situation as last known to her it was an allusion.
"I"ve made my plan," her friend continued: "I go for at least a year. We shall go straight to Florence; we can manage there. I of course don"t look to you, however," she added, "to stay with me all that time. That will require to be settled. Owen will have to join us as soon as possible; he may not be quite ready to get off with us. But I"m convinced it"s quite the right thing to go. It will make a good change; it will put in a decent interval."
Fleda listened; she was deeply mystified. "How kind you are to me!" she presently said. The picture suggested so many questions that she scarcely knew which to ask first. She took one at a venture. "You really have it from Mr. Gereth that he"ll give us his company?"
If Mr. Gereth"s mother smiled in response to this, Fleda knew that her smile was a tacit criticism of such a form of reference to her son.
Fleda habitually spoke of him as Mr. Owen, and it was a part of her present vigilance to appear to have relinquished that right. Mrs.
Gereth"s manner confirmed a certain impression of her pretending to more than she felt; her very first words had conveyed it, and it reminded Fleda of the conscious courage with which, weeks before, the lady had met her visitor"s first startled stare at the cl.u.s.tered spoils of Poynton. It was her practice to take immensely for granted whatever she wished. "Oh, if you"ll answer for him, it will do quite as well!" she said. Then she put her hands on the girl"s shoulders and held them at arm"s length, as if to shake them a little, while in the depths of her shining eyes Fleda discovered something obscure and unquiet. "You bad, false thing, why didn"t you tell me?" Her tone softened her harshness, and her visitor had never had such a sense of her indulgence. Mrs.
Gereth could show patience; it was a part of the general bribe, but it was also like the handing in of a heavy bill before which Fleda could only fumble in a penniless pocket. "You must perfectly have known at Ricks, and yet you practically denied it. That"s why I call you bad and false!" It was apparently also why she again almost roughly kissed her.
"I think that before I answer you I had better know what you"re talking about," Fleda said.
Mrs. Gereth looked at her with a slight increase of hardness. "You"ve done everything you need for modesty, my dear! If he"s sick with love of you, you haven"t had to wait for me to inform you."