[Ill.u.s.tration: "Framed in the doorway ... stood one of the finest examples of the early Gothic I have ever seen."]
""Pardon me a moment," said he, rising and starting over to her.
""Why, Judge Waddington, what a delightful thurprise," shrilled the lady of peroxide in a voice that carried all over the room and back as far as the bar.
""When did you come down? Thith ith thertainly fine." The judge mumbled something which I did not catch--it sounded like "Oh, h.e.l.l!"
""Here, Patrick," he said, without enthusiasm, "I want you to meet a friend of mine."
"An introduction to Miss Clarice de Dear, who had appeared in the original Black Crook company with Lydia Thompson, was no every-day occurrence in my hum-drum existence, and I was perhaps visibly affected.
She overlooked it, and greeted me with girlish enthusiasm.
""Tho glad," she lisped, "to meet any friend of the dear Judge"s, and ethpethially you. I have heard tho much about you." I wondered what in the devil she had heard. "I"ve known Judge Waddington ever since I was a little tot."
""And not so long, either," said the Judge gallantly--and grimly. The fair one shot a curious glance at him, and smiled a smile, sour in its exceeding sweetness.
""I have often heard the Judge mention your name. "t.w.a.th only the other night he thaid----What will I have? nothing, thanks, I have just ordered." But she joined us later, and still later, when the conversation became general; that is, we all tried to talk at once.
"From the Judge"s att.i.tude I gathered that he was commencing to celebrate the birthday of some famous man or the anniversary of a great battle. He never drank otherwise. To-day, he informed me, he was tanking up in honor of Bolivar, the great South American Liberator.
""Ah, Bolivar! Great man, Bolivar! Waiter!"
""Yes, sir!"
""The same!"
"From Miss de Dear, "midst smiles and tears, I gleaned that she had once adorned the stage, pursued always by the jealousy of her less-talented sisters. Heaven knows she couldn"t help the gifts of Nature which had come to her through no effort of her own--her birthright. The de Dears were all that way, as far back as Sir Something-or-the-other de Dear who came over with the Conqueror--and her mother"s first cousin went to the Philadelphia a.s.sembly--how could she help it? _n.o.blesse Oblige!_ All the girls were jealous--the cats! Anyhow, she had quit the scene of her early triumphs, lured by the attractive offer of a vaudeville manager.
In this new field she appeared for a short time; but when on the roof they put her on the programme sandwiched between a troup of performing dogs and a bunch of b.u.m acrobats--she kicked! Any self-respecting artiste would have done the same! I agreed with her. She, too, like the Montgomerys, and other n.o.ble families, had been caught in the Knicknack disaster, and her savings swept away; and rather than be dependent upon the bounty of an immensely wealthy English aunt, she had consented to represent a great New York publishing house.
""The World"s Famous Fat Men," twenty volumes; cloth, levant, or half-calf; ten dollars down, and a dollar a month far into the hazy future. Of course this was hardly the place to talk business, she said, but I had her card and knew where to find her. Every one should have the work. All the best people in New York, Philadelphia, Sioux City, and other places were putting it into their libraries, and so on, and so on.
"This flotsam and jetsam of her talk came to me from time to time as confidential asides from the main flow of palaver which rolled along steadily toward the Judge. The Judge, poor fellow, showed plainly the effects of the struggle; so much so, that I suggested a stroll up the Boardwalk.
"We arose with an effort, and went out to meet the bracing air.
""Ah, the thea, the thea; the dear, dear thea! Always tho--er--wet and rethleth. I inherit a love for the water from my father"s great uncle who was an Admiral in the British Navy." As this was the first intimation Miss de Dear had given as to a fondness for water, except on the side, I felt that living and learning were synonymous terms. So, perhaps, did the Judge, who said, apropos of nothing in particular, "When I was in California in fifty-nine, I saw a snake over forty-seven feet long. The onery rascal wouldn"t coil up, and they had to carry him from place to place on flat cars. Now what do you think of _that_?" Miss de Dear gazed dreamily out at the tossing waves, and said nothing, while I caught hold of the Judge"s elbow to steady him. Plainly the celebration was on.
""My dear, dear Patsy," he said affectionately.
""Oh, I tell you what let"h do," said the maiden impulsively; "let"h go and have our fortunes told. I am dying to have mine told. Last night I dreamt for the third time that Aunt Genevieve had died and left me all her money. Maybe there is something in it. The palm of my left hand has been itching all day."
"So to the fortune-teller"s we went.
[Ill.u.s.tration: Professor Habib.]
"Professor Habib was a Pa.r.s.ee, with features Irish in their intensity.
As I gazed at him I thought of the far-reaching kinship of man. Here was a Fire-worshipper out of Persia, who for all the world looked like my brother Mick; and G.o.d knows Mick"s no Pa.r.s.ee! Habib wore his native costume with a little red fez on top.
""Be seated," he said courteously; again reminding me of Mick.
""Which one first?" he asked, pointing to a little inner room curtained from view. The Judge suggested genially that we all go in together, but the professor explained that one at a time was his invariable rule.
""Oh, all right, all right," said the judge, somewhat miffed; "far be it from me to--to----"
""Ladies first," said I.
"""Tis well," said the professor, with a salaam; and the pair disappeared behind the draperies.
""I wonder how long they are going to stay," said the Judge, after we had waited some fifteen minutes. The conversation behind the arras, at first low and murmuring, was becoming animated. I distinctly heard the Pa.r.s.ee say, "Who are the blaggards ye"ve brought here wid ye?" followed by an unintelligible reply.
""What did he say?" queried the Judge, looking up sharply.
""I don"t understand Pa.r.s.ee, sir," said I.
""That was no foreign tongue; that was American--with a brogue. I don"t like that. Let"s hurry them up. I say, what time is it?"
"We reached for our watches. They were gone! Instinctively I felt for my wallet. Gone! My scarf-pin. Gone!
"We made a wild rush for the little inner room.
"Miss de Dear? Gone! And the Pa.r.s.ee? Gone!
"Later, when we had made our report to the police, and I was guiding the Judge home, I asked:
"Who is this de Dear? Where did you know her?"
""Never laid eyes on her before!" growled the Judge."
"Another "Jewel"!" said Colonel Manysnifters. "You find them everywhere."
XIII
AN UNINVITED GUEST
In the lull following Mr. O"Brien"s story the conductor and porter went hurriedly through the car out to the rear platform; where, it seems, they had been summoned by the brakeman. They quickly reappeared with as bedraggled and woebegone a specimen of humanity as it has ever been my misfortune to see. An unwashed, evil-smelling, half-frozen Hobo was dragged into the car, to our utter amazement!
"Hold on a minute, conductor," said Colonel Manysnifters, as they were rushing the captive through. "What have you here? Where did you get him?
Who are you, sir?" asked he of the tramp. "Who are you, I say, and what are you doing on this strictly private outfit?"
[Ill.u.s.tration: An uninvited guest.]