Chapter 226, Even Sages Are Idiots, Sometimes
“Uh… what just… why do I feel so woozy…”
Violent Demon opened his heavy eyelids but his vision was still foggy. He reached to scratch his head but oddly enough, he couldn’t. Looking down, [Dammit! I’m hogtied.]
Turning to his sides, his bros were in the same boat, all strapped around a three meter thick tree. He wailed, “Oy, wake up you fools, we’re strapped here!”
The three were roused and slowly getting their wits about them, what little they ever had. When they saw they were in a very tight pinch, and their cultivation sealed, they started wailing, “Oh b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, who’s the b.a.s.t.a.r.d that dares tie us four demons, your grandpas? Release us right now, or I’ll give you a fate worse than death…”
“Ha-ha-ha, these little s.h.i.ts sure are bonkers. Look at them, like lambs to the slaughter yet still so feisty!”
A chuckle announced Zhuo Fan and Li Jingtian’s casual entrance in their field of view, one filled with derision. In response, the four rained curses.
Li Jingtian’s face was dark and was ready to hit them, “You d.a.m.n mongrels, one more peep out of you and I’ll have your heads!”
The barking halted on the spot, but their beady eyes still glared at the duo.
Zhuo Fan and Li Jingtian only laughed.
These four were blokes, but at least knew to read the mood. They balked under the tiniest threat, making it much easier for what Zhuo Fan had in mind next.
“Cough~, I will now ask you some questions. Be honest, or I’ll make sure you are 6 feet under!” Zhuo Fan coughed dryly.
The four just shook their heads and puffed out their chests, quite brave, or maybe moronic? [Ask away, but I won’t answer one!]
Zhuo Fan brushed past their rash reaction and asked, “I heard you were sealed in Thunder Swarm Mountain. How come you’re out? Who released you?”
“Don’t know!” Violent Demon shouted.
Zhuo Fan snorted, “Nerves of steel I see! Elder Li, waste him!”
“Wait, I really don’t know!” Violent Demon’s courage was deflated on the spot as he pleaded, “I beg you, let us go. We’ve only been out for a few months and hardly played enough. We don’t want to die!”
“Screw you, if you cherish your life so much, what are you doing posing as heroes?” Zhuo Fan glared. [These little s.h.i.ts are only good at putting up an act.] But they didn’t know when to stop and almost fooled even him in thinking they were tough as nails.
Violent Demon heard Zhuo Fan’s demand and nodded, all while his brothers were snickering. But a glare from the eldest brother had them fall in line.
Zhuo Fan rolled his eyes, [I’ve never seen such top notch weirdos in either of my lives.]
But the doubts he had were far from cleared, “You’re saying someone let you out and yet you don’t know? You expect me to buy such an obvious lie?”
“Our lives are in your hands. We’d never dare do anything of the sort. We really don’t know!” Violent Demon was bitter as he tried to painstakingly remember, “Eight months ago, we were still trapped in the Thunder Swarm Mountain, struck by thousands of lightning daily. Then, a sudden crack opened in the barrier. But when we got out, there was no one there. So we went about doing the usual, killing, burning, pillaging, ruining some cities and clans, you know, the works… “
“Hold up, why on earth did you start doing that anyway?” Zhuo Fan blinked.
The four looked at each other and sneered, with Violent Demon growing c.o.c.ky in his creepy laughter, “I can tell with one look you’re a bookworm and narrow minded. We are demonic heroes. What demonic cultivator out there doesn’t pillage? The more we kill, the evilier we are, the further we walk on the demonic path. And our demonic heroes’ life will thus find its glorious meaning!”
“Four lunatics is more like it!” Li Jingtian mocked.
Zhuo Fan scratched his nose, getting p.i.s.sed as well.
[You’re the narrow minded ones! I have studied the demonic path my entire life, even becoming the Demonic Emperor. And then here you are telling me I’m the shallow one when it comes to it?]
[At the end of it all, the so-called demonic path comes down to one word only, selfishness! Any and all demonic cultivators are cool headed, working only to further their benefits by any means necessary. In fact, pillaging is against our path. For us, this is only a means to an end, not our purpose.]
But these four blokes turned the method into a purpose. They couldn’t be more wrong. If the demon path goal was this, then the entire world would’ve long turned on them and wiped them out.
[Just why the h.e.l.l did the Demon Scheming Sect even take them in?]
Zhuo Fan held his head, not bothered to waste anymore time with these blokes. But his heart was in doubt, [Just who released them? And why?]
He thought for a while but found no answer. Zhuo Fan continued, “Why did you attack us then? Who told you to?”
“Uh, dumb luck!” Violent Demon mumbled.
Zhuo Fan shook his head, “Elder Li, waste him!”
“Ah, wait, wait, I’m being honest here!”
Violent Demon looked at Zhuo Fan on the verge of crying, [Why is this lil’ bro so bent on wasting people?] He was even more violent than even himself, “That’s the truth of it. Since our escape from Thunder Swarm Mountain, we laid four cities to ruin and killed around half a million people. We soon found ourselves bored and were about to choose our fifth city to waste when we met an imp at some point and made a bet with him. Who knew we’d lose and had to promise to look for ingredients in his stead. And where were we supposed to find it? Robbing people of course. Especially those in the Profound Heaven Stage or above. Their rings must be loaded with ingredients…”
“So, you saw us flying there and just up and threw your black staff at us?” Zhuo Fan stared Violent Demon down, looking for lies and forcing him to squeeze a nod, “We thought we’d find plenty of good stuff and complete the bet, but who knew we’d fail right at the start! Such a dumb luck, waah~…”
Violent Demon started bawling like a kid which threw the other three into doing the same.
Zhuo Fan and Li Jingtian were stumped.
[These little twerps are weirdos, no kidding.] One minute they were savage, the next they played the victim, like wronged children.
“Fine fine, don’t cry. Whoever cries, I’ll waste him!” Zhuo Fan shouted and the tears grounded to a halt. Zhuo Fan shook his head inwardly, [I just can’t tell when they’re being real or just faking it.] But he still had some doubts that needed clarified, “You guys know when to concede having lost a bet?”
“Of course. We are demonic heroes, when have we ever been anything but trustworthy?” Violent Demon puffed up his chest and spoke self-righteously, the other brothers followed suit.
Looking him in the eye, Zhuo Fan walked to him and squinted. The four looked back cautiously, their hearts in their throat.
Li Jingtian came before Zhuo Fan and said, “Steward Zhuo, can we trust anything that came out of their mouths?”
Zhuo Fan nodded and said, “Their heads may be screwed on wrong and speaking in tongues, but they are more or less telling the truth. The one who released them wished to incite chaos in Tianyu. They’re not here for us!”
“Then, we can rest easy and continue onward to Thunder Swarm Mountain. I was afraid our tracks were followed and someone laid a trap for us.” Li Jingtian sighed.
Zhuo Fan nodded, but his face was dead serious.
Like this, the two stood there in silence for a while. Zhuo Fan was mulling over something and Li Jingtian stayed nearby so he wouldn’t disturb.
As for the four demons, they were watching the duo nervously, worried for their poor lives.
Finally, Li Jingtian couldn’t help but voice his confusion, “Steward Zhuo, are you thinking about our trip to Thunder Swarm Mountain or how to deal with these guys?”
“Ha-ha-ha, since these little guys’ interference wasn’t on purpose, then Thunder Swarm Mountain will be safe. As for these weirdos, I’m of a mind to recruit them. It just so happens that I have a unity tactic on me that suits them like a glove!” Zhuo Fan smiled.
Li Jingtian nodded, “I knew Steward Zhuo is lenient and found them appealing. But, Steward Zhuo, don’t you need to think it further? You may offend the Demon Scheming Sect if you take them.”
“Hardly. Since Demon Scheming Sect threw them away and ignored them for sixty years, it won’t matter. Moreover, true great men don’t mind trifles and are unafraid of some petty danger. So stop thinking as if this is a matter of epic importance!” Zhuo Fan shook his head.
“Then Steward Zhuo wants to…”
Sighing, Zhuo Fan took out the Bloodworm gourd and frowned, “I no longer have on me cold spiritual beast blood, so how can I place an active Bloodworm egg in the pills and hoodwink the four morons into taking them? Their brains may be slow, but they are Radiant Stage experts still…”
Li Jingtian watched him oddly and blinked in awkwardness, “Uh, Steward Zhuo, they are under our complete control. I a.s.sume there’s no need to go as far as hoodwinking them into eating the pill as well..”
Shuddering, Zhuo Fan went beet red and face slapped himself.
[What a fool I am! I deceived Li Jingtian into taking the Bloodworm because he was just too amazing. But against these four little twerps under my control I don’t need to waste so much time. I’ll just give it to them!]
[Sigh, here I am saying others have screwed up heads, while mine is on the fritz as well.]
Zhuo Fan blushed hotter, even avoiding Li Jingtian’s gaze, “Elder Li, please forget that just now!”
“Aye!”
Li Jingtian stifled a laughter, watching this treacherous Steward Zhuo, [Who knew he’d be so oblivious today?]
“Uh, Steward Zhuo, could you give me two of those worms? I want to try stuffing it into others’ mouths as well!” Li Jingtian snickered, as he saw Zhuo Fan closing in on the four.
Zhuo Fan raised an eyebrow and smiled, “Sure!”
Thus the two, with two worms each, snickered at the four demons. The four were now shaking in fear and wailing, “What are you planning? Haven’t we been honest here? Why are you still…”
Bloodworms entered each of their mouths, forever branding them with the Luo clan’s seal…