"I would love to go." This was her first smile after such long time.After saying that, Qianru went inside her room, leaving Qi Xunyi alone behind the closed door.
Qianru"s answer meant a lot for him. Whether it was a good sign or a bad sign, all Qi Xunyi knew, he was relief to hear her reply.
Probably Qianru was really in need to take a fresh air and accompany in her hard time like this and didn"t mean something else, but Qi Xunyi couldn"t help but became happy because of that.
He only stopped staring at the closed door after long time and walked away from his spot slowly as if it was hard for him to leave it.
Inside the room, Qianru took off her cloak as tiredness started to hit her.
It was a long walk and unexpectedly, a good one for her. She was really in need for a change of atmosphere and Qi Xunyi was a good company for that.
Qianru lied down her tired body and soul on the bed as she curled herself in fetus position while hugging her knees.
"Jun… Where are you?" She asked to the silence room that couldn"t answer her.
He was the only person in her mind and the only person that she wanted to see, but he wasn"t there to hold her now.
She felt very tired with what had happened to her and didn"t know if she could face another wave after wave of problem that Xiao Jun always carried with him.
Before this, she was very sure that she could bear anything as long as she was with Xiao Jun, all of his problem, his enemy and his schemes, she would endure them all without complain.
But now, the moment she needed him the most and felt like her world started to fade and crumble, he wasn"t there.
She knew what she had to face if she chose to be with him, but only this moment, she wanted him to be there for her, she wanted to be selfish because she was starting to get tired for being so tolerance.
She wanted him and he wasn"t there…
It was like the story repeated itself.
If she thought about it again, he was always away when she needed him the most, but she would always there for him when he needed her the most.
What an ironic fact that Qianru couldn"t even laugh at it.
***
The next day Qi Xunyi appeared in front of her door at the same time and like their previous strolled, they walked in silence.
But, it was the silence that Qianru wanted, the comfort that she had been seeking and here Qi Xunyi appeared to offer something that she needed.
Both of them walked toward the place that Qi Xunyi had mentioned yesterday, the road was slightly uphill as Qi Xunyi stretched out his hand to help Qianru so she wouldn"t fall.
Qianru accepted his hand uncomfortably, this was the first time a man was holding her hand except Xiao Jun, before this she had never been holding hand with someone else.
Unexpectedly, Qi Xunyi"s hand was warm and felt so right with hers as the uncomfortable feeling gradually disappeared.
Once they arrived the scene before Qianru"s eyes was really incredible, this was the most beautiful place that she had ever seen.
The vast gra.s.sland spread before their eyes until the green color collided with the blue sky at the horizon as the wind from the north blew their hairs and their clothes.
Qianru felt so small.
In this wide world she felt so small and meaningless. Her trouble was nothing and miraculously she felt slightly better.
She liked this place, no, she loved it.
"It"s so beautiful…" Qianru"s voice was barely a whispered, but Qi Xunyi could hear her nonetheless.
"I am glad if you like it." He replied. "Yes it is indeed beautiful." Qi Xunyi added while looking at Qianru, who didn"t pay him attention as her eyes brightened to see the vast blue sky.
Qi Xunyi enjoyed the view of her mesmerized expression before he guided her to sit on the bench under the tree.
"Tired?" Qi Xunyi asked with concern laced in his voice.
Qianru shook her head as a faint smile appeared on her lips. "No." She said curtly.
Qi Xunyi didn"t say anything as he handed a jug of water for her to moisten her throat, she accepted it without a word, but her small smile was enough for him.
Both of them sat there in silence for more than two hours, only when the sun was almost set, Qi Xunyi called it a day.
"It will get dark soon, we need to go back now…" Qi Xunyi said and stood up.
There were no torches around this meadow, so it would be hard for them to go back once the sun had been set.
However, Qianru apparently didn"t think the same, she was reluctant to leave that place and returned to her room, it would only remind her about the pain and trouble.
Qianru stared at Qi Xunyi"s hand that was reaching out to help her to stand, but she didn"t need that and she didn"t want to go yet.
"I have loved him for more than half of my life…" Qianru said in low voice, her eyes turned misty as she watched the sun gradually disappeared behind the mountain. "But, I think he never feels the same about me…"
Qi Xunyi knew who was the person that Qianru was talking about, but he didn"t know how to react on her confession.
"He has been in love with someone else…" There was a bitter smile on her lips with Qianru said those words, as the image of Xiao Jun was staring at Riana affectionately in the past, flew before her eyes. "He loves her…"
Qi Xunyi didn"t know what he had to say nor he could find the right word to comfort Qianru and in the end, he decided to sit beside her and listened. Probably that was all Qianru needed, to be heard.