Feng Ping was once again woken up by the ringing sound of her phone. The skies had already turned dark outside, the gla.s.s windows outside reflecting the last wisps of light outside.
Holding the phone in one hand, she used the other to turn on a light.
The low voice of a male sounded on the other end, “Did I disturb you, my dear queen?”
“Junhao?” Holding the phone between the crook of her neck, she sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, “What are you up to now?”
“Your Majesty.” Fang Junhao"s voice seemed to be a little strained, “I know I should have disturbed you because of a personal matter—”
Feng Ping cut him off, “Fang Junhao, is there something wrong with your brain?”
Fang Junhao"s voice became more solemn, “Your Majesty, this subject wants to report a very serious matter.”
Feng Peng lazily replied, “If I remember correctly, when I was seven, the person who took us to Cuiming Lake because he wanted to go fishing and then almost caused me to drown was you, right?”
The moment she mentioned this matter, Fang Junhao couldn"t hold in his anger and continue pretending. He gritted his teeth, “How did I know you would be so stupid, drowning even though you had a life ring on. If it weren"t for you, how could I have been taken away by that old man, forced to study that d.a.m.n hotel management or whatever. Ah, Cuiming Lake, the dream of my youth—”
“So sour.”
“I want to join the arts.”
“May I ask if you received your parents" permission?” Feng Ping naughtily asked.
Fang Junhao suddenly felt stifled. Speaking of this, it was quite an embarra.s.sing matter. As someone whose about to turn thirty years-old, standing over 170cm tall, he was actually terrified of his old father. It doesn"t make any sense, it really doesn"t.
“My da xiaojie, please help me. That old man will definitely listen if you say it.”
“Naturally he"ll listen to me, but he"ll be sad. Why should I do something to make him sad?”
“Then you"re okay with making me sad?”
“You, sad?” Feng Ping snorted, “Who knows how carefree you"ve been living in Europe. All those erotic photos on the magazine covers were provided by you, right?”
“It"s called art!” Fang Junhao yelled, “I won the top award at a professional photography compet.i.tion…”
“Nagging me won"t get you anywhere. If you have the guts, go ask Uncle Fang.” Switch positions on the pillow, Feng Ping"s stomach started to grumble, and she opened her mouth, “Hey, if you don"t have anything to do, come eat dinner with me?”
“Dinner?” Fang Junhao began to yell again, “I say, Your Majesty, it"s already 11:30 PM and you still haven"t eaten dinner?”
“No matter how great I am, I can"t do anything without eating!(1)” Feng Ping pretended to cry.
“You have 15 minutes.”
Feng Ping was about to say something to him when she heard him already hang up the phone. Whatever, she could only get up to wash herself and change clothes. Fang Junhao"s car hadn"t arrived yet when she was already waiting downstairs. She was confident that he would definitely drive that excessively extravagant Porsche. She wasn"t wrong.
Sitting inside, she spoke, “I wanted to just eat some fast food around here…”
Fang Junhao stared at her, “Fast food? If that gets spread around, you dying of hunger is a small matter, but my losing face is a big matter.”
Feng Ping kept silent, not bothering to argue with him.
“What do you want to eat?”
Whatever.” After a bit, she asked, “That reminds me, has Junyi returned?”
“She"s flying in tomorrow afternoon, just in time for that d.a.m.n charity ball.”
“You must be generous, fellow student Fang Junhao.” Feng Ping sang.
“I am very generous, I just can"t handle the troubles that come with being in contact with so many people.”
That part was true. Feng Ping continued the topic from earlier, “Junyi is eighteen this year, right?”
“Seventeen.” Speaking of this younger sister of his, Fang Junhao was full of complaints, “Actually she should be the one that needs to be taught a lesson. The money she spends in a year is more than what I spent in a year when I was her age, yet that old man doesn"t scold her at all…”
Feng Ping laughed, “Isn"t the purpose of money to be used?”
Fang Junhao turned a corner at a quick speed and then glared at her, “You"ll know once you see her. She"s even worse than when you were her age.”
Feng Ping immediately stared back, “Hm?”
Fang Junhao hurriedly gave a sheepish smile, “What I mean is that now that you"re older and wiser, the things that you do are steadier too, hehe, Bingchen also praised you last time…”
The roads were clear this late at night and with Fang Junhao"s expert driving skills, they arrived at Ruili Restaurant"s parking garage after just a couple of turns. An employee immediately came out to a.s.sist them.
The both of them entered the elevator going up, and sat down at a table near the window. Feng Ping was starving and ordered a couple of heavier dishes so that she could eat more rice. Fang Junhao shook his head at her, pouring tea while nagging her about healthy living, causing her to become annoyed, “If everything is done like this, then what"s the point of living?”
Fang Junhao lamented, “Living was originally a boring thing anyways.”
Hearing this, Feng Ping almost choked on the tea she was drinking, “Please don"t say that. I feel that living is very interesting right now.”
Fang Junhao looked through the window and swept his gaze through the surroundings below, crying, “The world is lively but I"m the only one that"s lonely!”
Hearing this the server jolted and his hands shook, almost dropping plates of food.
Feng Ping struggled to hold in her laughter until he finished serving, and then finally let loose, laughing for a whole entire minute before stopping to eat. After all the dishes were cleanly eaten, she raised her head, “Regarding your matter, I"ll find a time to talk to Uncle Fang…”
Fang Junhao was ecstatic when he heard her say those words, “This subject thanks master for her generosty, may master wan sui wan sui wan wan sui(2).”
“No need, rise.”
Feng Ping buried her head to drink the soup, and suddenly felt Fang Junhao kicking her. Thinking that it was just an accident, she slid both of her legs back, only to feel an even stronger kick, making her angry, “Were you a donkey in your past life?”
Seeing that she still hadn"t raised her head, Fang Junhao coughed drily before greeting, “What a coincidence Tang ershao.”
Feng Ping froze.
Tang Jianan gave a faint smile and walked over, “Truly, what a coincidence. It"s such a small world, wouldn"t you say so, Feng xiaojie?”
Feng Ping pushed away the bowl of soup and dabbed at her lips with a napkin.
Fang Junhao couldn"t help but tease, “Is the next line ‘even though we meet, we fail to recognize each other(3)"?”
Tang Jianan didn"t get angry, only looking at him and smiled, “Brother Fang, can I ask how many hours have you spent with Feng xiaojie eating this meal?”
Fang Junhao paused, confused at the question. On the other hand, Feng Ping knew the reason why and spoke first, “Ah"Nan, you"re alone?”
Seeing the two of them together, Tang Jianan was originally quite unhappy inside, but seeing her smile at him and calling him ‘Ah"Nan", he couldn"t find it in him to release the anger he had inside.
Feng Ping spoke again, “If you"re alone, why don"t you sit with us?”
Tang Jianan was still a little angry and coldly mocked, “Then, how will you calculate this hourly fee?”
“Hourly fee? What are you guys talking about?” Fang Junhao"s gaze kept shifting between them, utterly confused.
Hearing this, Tang Jianan"s face changed, staring at Feng Ping as he asked, “What? He"s…”
“He"s the same.” Feng Ping hurriedly cut off his words, and with a clear voice, announced, “His hourly fee is also four hundred dollars.”
Fang Junhao was totally bewildered, and when he was about to speak up, he felt his calf get kicked, only to see her smile again, “Anyone male who wants to go on a date with me must pay according to my hourly rate of four hundred dollars. Business is still business, Ah"Nan I think it"s best if you don"t sit with us, I didn"t consider that part, I apologize.”
Tang Jianan"s face was completely red, yet he couldn"t refute anything. Openly declaring such a thing, exactly how many times did she practice these words? What a G.o.d!!
Hearing her speak, Fang Junhao turned into a statue.
Way t-t-t-t-t-t-too shocking!
Looking down at her watch, Feng Ping turned to Fang Junhao, “Junhao, time"s almost up.”
Neither Fang Junhao nor Tang Jianan spoke. Feng Ping was hinting at him to go, but his brain was short-circuiting, and he actually opened his wallet to take out four hundred dollars to hand them to her.
His actions shocked even Feng Ping, causing her to fall into a daze for several seconds before stretching her hands out to take them.
These two, like this…they"re clearing doing XX, Tang Jianan was thoroughly undergoing a mental breakdown.
As if waking up from a dream, he took a step back, “I apologize, I still have some friends over there, so I"ll be leaving first.” Finishing, he walked away in a rush.
After a little bit, Fang Junhao drove Feng Ping home, incessantly voicing his admiration, “My respected Queen, you"re such a genius, you even dare to do such things? You may not want face, but I still do. You…”
“Shut up!”
Fang Junhao was silent for a second before his admiration turned into mourning, “My G.o.d, if word gets out that I, Fang Junhao, needs to spend money to go on dates with women, where would I put my face? My G.o.d, why is my life so bitter, in the cold winter night I good-naturedly offered to treat someone to eat dinner, yet I still had to pay four hundred dollars on top of that, it"s really…”
Feng Ping could only threaten him, “If you say another word, then forget about what I promised you tonight.”
Fang Junhao tightly shut his mouth, his stomach full of grievances as he slowly tried to calm down.
(1) The Chinese idiom is 巧妇难为无米之炊, which means that even the smartest wife can"t make rice without the grains. Putting it in modern terms, it means that without the necessary conditions, it"s difficult to complete certain tasks.
(2) wan sui wan sui wan wan sui: It"s what people in ancient China used to tell the Emperor to wish him longevity (literally it means to wish them to live ten thousand years)
(3) This is from a poem written by Su Dongpo named “Jiang Cheng Zi”, where a decade had pa.s.sed since his wife died, and he himself had been roaming around the world, trying to find his wife"s soul, but even if he were to meet his deceased wife again, she would not recognize him.
Forchen Notes: This is one of my favorite chapters so far, mainly because of how funny these misunderstandings are, and how Feng Ping essentially dug a hole for herself so now she had to continue this charade and even dragged an innocent Junhao into it.