"You"ll know in time, so hold your noise."
She "held her noise." At least she did not venture to speak again, and "in time" she did know, but it was a long time first.
Jessie had long been too tired to notice anything that was pa.s.sing, and when at last they did stop before a house, and went up to the door of it, she was too exhausted to notice the place or the house, or anything about her. She wanted only to be allowed to lie down somewhere, anywhere, and not have to move, or speak, or even think.
When the door was at last opened she saw before her what looked like a black pit, and that was all. Her father must have been able to see more than she, for he swore at some one for keeping him waiting so long, and Jessie supposed it was at an unseen person who had opened the door to them, then he walked quickly ahead, telling Jessie to follow him.
Follow him! How could she, when she could see nothing and did not know where her next step would land her? She did not dare, though, do anything but obey, so, groping blindly, and sliding her feet carefully before her, one at a time, she crept with all the speed she could in direction in which she thought he had gone.
"Mind the stairs," said some one behind her, and at the same moment Jessie"s foot went over the top one.
"Harry, you might have helped the child down," said the voice behind her, more tartly, and Jessie guessed it was the door-opener who spoke, and who was following her. Harry Lang muttered something surlily enough, but he did pick up a lamp from somewhere, and held it out for her to see the rest of her way by, and Jessie clambered down the remaining stairs in comparative comfort.
"You"d better give the kid something to eat, and pack her off to bed as soon as you can," he said. "She"s pretty well f.a.gged out, and so am I," he added.
Jessie looked round to see to whom he was speaking, and saw standing in the doorway a little thin woman, with a sharp, cross face, and dull, tired eyes, eyes which looked as though they never brightened, or lost their look of weary hopelessness. This was her stepmother.
She gave no sign of welcome, no word of comfort to the child, yet, somehow, Jessie"s heart went out to her a little. It might have been only that in her terror of her father, she was ready to cling to any one who might stand between her and him.
"There"s bread and b.u.t.ter--"
"Bread and b.u.t.ter!" roared her husband, "is that all? Do you mean to say you haven"t got anything hot and tasty for me after all I"ve been through to get this brat here, for nothing in the world but to help you to do nothing all day long--"
"There"s plenty for you," she retorted coldly. "I was speaking of the child. I knew you wouldn"t want to share yours with her," and Harry Lang, who had stepped threateningly towards her, drew back again, looking rather foolish and very cross. "Where is it?" he snapped.
"In the oven," and she took out a big covered basin and put before him.
Whatever the contents might have been, they smelt very savoury and seemed to please him, but he never offered a mouthful of it to his famishing little daughter, as she stood by, looking at him. A thick slice of bad bread with some b.u.t.ter spread thinly on it was Jessie"s fare, and she wished the b.u.t.ter had been omitted altogether, so horrid did it smell and taste.
As soon as he had finished the last mouthful of his supper Harry Lang got up, and without a word to either of them, slouched out of the kitchen and up-stairs to bed. Mrs. Lang began at once to clear a very large old sofa of its untidiness.
"You"ll have to sleep here," she said; "the house is so full there isn"t room for you anywhere else. Make haste and get your things off. I want to get to bed myself. I"ve got to be up at five, and it"s past one now."
Jessie looked with dismay at the collection of dirty-looking shawls and coats her stepmother was piling on the sofa as "bedclothes," and if she had not been so dead tired, she could never have brought herself to lie down under them. Visions of her own sweet little room and spotless bed rose before her, and overcame her control.
"Is this your bag?"
"Yes," said Jessie tearfully, a sob rising in her throat.
The woman looked at her with dull interest. "You"d better keep your feelings to yourself," she said; "there"s no time for any here.
Try to go to sleep, and don"t think about anything," she added, not unkindly. "You are overtired to-night, you"ll feel better to-morrow." She helped Jessie into her rough bed, and tucked the shawl about her, but she did not kiss her. "Now make haste and go to sleep," she said, "for I shall be down very early, and then you"ll have to get up," and she walked away, taking the lamp with her.
Jessie shut her eyes and tried to go to sleep, but her nerves were all unstrung, brain and ears were all on the alert, and there seemed to be curious, unaccountable sounds on all sides of her. She had not been alone more than a minute or two before there were strange sc.r.a.ping noises in the kitchen not far from her. "Mice!" thought Jessie, "or beetles."
She was a fairly brave child, but she had a perfect horror of black beetles, and her heart sank at the thought of them. She drew the shawl over her head as well as she could, and wrapped up her arms in it, but still she felt that the beetles were running, running everywhere, over the walls and over her, and she could scarcely refrain from shrieking aloud in her horror. Then came louder and more dreadful sounds, the cries of people quarrelling; they seemed to be in the very house too; Jessie uncovered her head to hear, then covered it quickly again, sick and faint with fear. A drunken man reeled past the house, singing noisily; to Jessie in the kitchen area he seemed horribly near.
She grew more and more frightened with each sound she heard. She was alone in the dark, with dreadful things happening all around her, in a house that she did not even know her way about. She felt sick and faint with terror and horror of the place, and longing for home and all that she had lost.
Then she remembered suddenly that she had not said her prayers.
It had all seemed so strange, and her stepmother had hurried her so, that she had never thought of it until now.
"Oh, I can"t get out and kneel down," she thought. "I might step on some beetles. I am sure if G.o.d sees how dreadful everything is, and how frightened I am, that He will forgive me if I say them here. And she began--
"I trust myself, dear G.o.d, to Thee, Keep every evil far from me.
"Does that mean drunken men and beetles," she wondered feverishly, ""I trust myself, dear G.o.d, to Thee;" if I do, He will take care of me, for certain," and a ray of comfort crept into her poor little aching heart. "Granp told me so." And for the first time in her life Jessie felt the true meaning of the dear old grandfather"s lessons in the garden, or by the kitchen fire.
Hitherto she had been sheltered and loved and guarded, been well clothed, and fed, and cared for. Now, for the first time, she felt the need of some one to turn to, and her prayers meant more than they had ever meant before. They came from her heart, and were real pet.i.tions.
"Granp said G.o.d loved little children, and always listened to them,"
and with this comforting thought she at last fell asleep.
CHAPTER VIII.
THE NEW HOME.
It seemed to Jessie that she was still saying, "Keep every evil far from me," and trying to go to sleep, when a voice said sharply--
"Now then, it"s time to wake up! Make haste and get your clothes on, for your father and one of the lodgers will be here wanting their breakfasts presently."
Jessie woke with a great start, and sprang up, struggling with the shawl which was still wrapped about her head. Free of this, she looked about her in a dazed way, trying to rouse herself and collect her wits. It was not yet daylight, of course, and the lighted lamp stood on the table in the midst of the dirty dishes just as it had the night before; her stepmother too--her hair and dress and whole appearance were exactly as they had been the night before, the only difference being that she seemed, if anything, less agreeable.
"Wake up! wake up!" she called sharply again. "I want you to make yourself useful, not to be giving me more trouble. Get on your things, then light the fire as quick as you can--no, I"ll light the fire to-day, because your father can"t bear to be kept waiting, but I shall look to you to do it other mornings, and to get up without being called, too."
"Yes," said Jessie dutifully, "I hope I shall be able to wake up."
She was so sleepy at the moment that she could scarcely stand, or see to get into her garments. She looked around her for a place where she could wash. Cold water would help her to wake up, perhaps.
It was really painful to be so terribly sleepy.
"Please, where can I wash?" she asked at last. "I--I can"t wake--up; I--I--" and she was asleep again. Her stepmother"s sharp voice soon roused her, though.
"A place to wash in!" she snapped crossly. "Why, you must wait until some of them have gone out, then you can go to one of the bedrooms, unless you"d like to wash at the tap, out there," pointing to the scullery; "there"s a dipper there you can use."
Jessie gladly accepted the last offer. She was longing to feel the freshness of cold water on her aching head and heavy eyes, and her hot face, and she groped her way out to the scullery.
It was lighted by a candle only, but even so Jessie could see the untidy muddle of everything. The sink by the tap was crowded with pots and pans and dirty dishes, and so was the table and the dirty floor. Where was she to wash, and where was the dipper? She looked around her hopelessly. She was so heavy with sleep she could hardly see, so aching in every limb she could scarcely stand; and the sight of the miserable place, and the close smell of it, made her feel positively sick and ill.
She did not dare, though, trouble her stepmother any further, she had to act for herself; so she looked about her, first of all for the dipper, and presently saw it standing, full of potato peelings, on the floor under the sink. She seized it thankfully, and emptying its contents on to a dirty plate, went to the tap and gave it a good wash out. While she was doing this her eye fell on a piece of soap.
At last she managed to draw a dipperful of clean fresh water, and glad enough she was; it felt so delicious, in fact, and she enjoyed it so much, she could not bear to tear herself away from it, until her mother"s sharp voice brought her back to her duties again, and the rest of her toilet was finished more hurriedly.
"What shall I do first?" she asked timidly, when she was ready.
In her clean pinafore, with her hair well brushed, and her cheeks still glowing from the cold water, she looked so fresh and such a pleasant sight to see, that a ray of something like pleased surprise showed itself for a moment even on Mrs. Lang"s tired face.
"Can you wash up two or three of the cups and things without smashing them?" she asked.
"Oh yes," said Jessie, almost reproachfully, "I always do at home."
But the mere mention of that name brought the tears to her eyes, and prevented her saying more.