She loved to think of all she was going to do for her grandfather and grandmother.
"Oh no," she said. "You see, I am very strong, and I like to have lots to do."
And "lots" she did do, in her staid, old-fashioned way. "I don"t know whatever I should do without Jessie," granny would often remark to grandfather as the months went by, and Jessie became more and more useful about the house.
"It puzzles me to know how we ever got on before she came,"
grandfather would answer; and, as time went by, and Jessie grew taller and stronger and more and more capable, they wondered more and more frequently how they could ever have managed without her.
Jessie, too, often wondered how she had ever lived and been happy without her grandfather and grandmother, and "Sunnyside Cottage," and the garden, and the flowers, and her own rose-bush. At first she had thought a great deal about her mother, and wondered when she would come for her; and every nice new thing she had she wanted her to share, and every flower she had she wanted to save for her. But she saved them so often, and then had to throw them away dead, that at last she ceased to do so; and by and by, as the months pa.s.sed, she grew accustomed to enjoying things without her mother; and at last she gave up wondering when she would come. In fact, for some time before she gave up expecting her, Jessie had begun to hope that when her mother did come, she would not want to take her away with her, but would live there always with herself, and granny, and granp.
Of her father"s coming she never spoke but once, and that was when, with a frightened face, she said to her grandmother, "Granny, if father comes for me you won"t let him take me away with him, will you?" And granny had rea.s.sured her with a st.u.r.dy--
"Why, bless your heart, child, your father isn"t likely to want you, I can tell you, and he wouldn"t dare to come here and show himself to me, I reckon; don"t you be afraid, now, granny"ll take care of you."
So Jessie tried not to be, and as the years went by, and nothing was heard from either of her parents, her fears lessened, though she could never think of her father without a shudder of dread lest he should some day come to take her away.
Three years had pa.s.sed peacefully away, and Jessie was about eight years old when the next letter from Lizzie came to her parents.
Jessie never, to the end of her life, could forget the morning that letter reached them. It was a wet, dark November morning, and she had been lying awake for a long time listening to the patter-patter, swish-swish of the rain pouring against her window. She had heard her grandfather go down and open the front door as usual, and light the fire in the kitchen; then she heard him fill the kettle at the pump and put it on to boil. After that he went out again to open the hen-house door, and carry the hens their breakfast. She heard her grandmother go down the stairs, and a few moments later she heard heavy footsteps come splashing up the wet garden path, and very soon go down again.
Jessie got up and dressed herself, and made her way down. She had been singing to herself while she was dressing, so had not noticed anything unusual in the sounds and doings below stairs. But as she went down she did notice that the house seemed very quiet and still, and that there was no smell of breakfast cooking. Usually at this time her grandfather was busy in the scullery cleaning boots and knives, or doing some job or other, while her grandmother bustled back and forth, talking loudly, that her voice might reach above the frizzling of the frying-pan. But to-day there was a strange, most marked silence, broken only by the singing of the kettle, the plash of the rain outside, and a curious sound which Jessie could not make out, only she thought it sounded as though some one was in pain.
When she reached the foot of the stairs, she knew that she was right, and she stood and looked, with her heart sinking down, down, wondering with a great dread what could have happened. Her grandfather was sitting in his usual seat at the end of the table, holding a letter in his hand, while her grandmother stood beside him, her hand leaning heavily on his shoulder; and both their faces looked white and drawn, and full of trouble. Tears sprang to Jessie"s eyes at sight of them. Neither was speaking, but every now and then there burst from the old man that strange sound that Jessie had heard, and it was like the cry of a hurt animal.
When she heard it again, and knew whence it came, Jessie flew to him in terror. "Oh, granp, what is it?" she cried. "Who has hurt him?"
she cried, turning to her grandmother almost fiercely. "Who has done anything to granp--and you?" she added, when she caught sight of her grandmother"s face.
Patience Dawson"s hand slipped from her husband"s shoulder down to Jessie"s, and crept caressingly round the little girl"s neck, while the old man threw his arm around her to draw her nearer to him.
""Tis your mother, child," cried Patience, her words seeming to tumble from her anyhow. "She"s dead! Our only child, and took from us for ever, and never knowing how much we loved and forgave her, and how we"ve hungered night and day for a sight of her--and now I shall never, never see her again!" and then poor Patience broke down, and kneeling beside her husband and grandchild, bowed her head on the table and wept uncontrollably.
At the sight of their trouble Jessie"s own tears fell fast.
"Mother," she cried, scarcely grasping the real state of the case, and all it meant to her. "Mother! dead? Granp, mother isn"t really dead, is she? Won"t I--won"t I never see her any more," the truth gradually forcing itself on her mind--"won"t she ever come and live here with us, and see my rose--and--and all the things I"ve been saving for her?" Her little face was white now, and her lips quivering with the pain of realization.
Her grandfather shook his head. "She won"t ever come to us; never, never no more," he sighed heavily. "But maybe," he added a moment later, speaking slowly and with difficulty, "maybe she sees and knows now, better than she has all these years--and is happier."
"Why didn"t she write, why didn"t she tell us where she was?" wailed Patience despairingly. "I would have wrote at once and told her how we"d forgiven everything."
"Poor maid," said Thomas Dawson softly, "I reckon she had her reasons; her letter tells us that, without putting it into so many words. Read it again, mother, read it to the child--I can"t."
Patience took up the letter, but it was some time before she could control herself sufficiently to begin.
"My dearest Father and Mother,
"This is to tell you I am very ill, dying. The doctor says that if I want to let any one know, I must do so at once. You are the only ones that care, and I am writing to you to say good-bye for ever. I have always hoped that some day I should see you again, and my dear home, and my dearest, dearest child.
I am sure you will forgive me the wrong I did, and my cruel behaviour. I couldn"t die happy if I didn"t feel sure of that; but, dear father and mother, I know your loving hearts.
No words can tell how I"ve pined and longed for my little Jessie, my own little baby, all these years. At first I thought I should have died for want of her, but I knew she was happy--that was my only comfort--and I could not have found clothes nor food for her. I was going to write to you as soon as we were settled, but Harry lost that situation almost at once, and since then we have been on the tramp and never had a home. It has been a cruel life, and I have often thanked G.o.d on my knees that my darling was spared it. I know you love her and have taken care of her. Don"t let her forget me, dear father and mother, and don"t ever let her go from you. She is yours--I give her to you, and I thank you with all my heart for all you"ve done for her. Give her my love--oh, that I could kiss her dear little face again! Good-bye, dear father and mother, I can never forgive myself for all the misery I have caused you; but I know you will forgive me, and believe I loved you all the time. The woman here is kind to me, and she has promised to keep this letter safe, and send it to you when I am gone. Good-bye."
"Your loving daughter,"
"Lizzie."
The letter, which had been placed in an envelope and directed by Lizzie"s own hand, came in a larger envelope, and with it a slip of paper on which was written in a good firm hand, "Your poor daughter died this morning. Yours truly, Mary Smith."
The letter bore the Birmingham postmark, but no other clue.
"We don"t even know where she died," sobbed Thomas, "that I may go and bring her home to bury her," and this thought hurt the poor old man cruelly.
"If you did know, he probably wouldn"t let you have her poor body, not if he thought you wanted it," cried Patience bitterly. She could not bring herself to mention her son-in-law by name. "He would hurry her into her grave rather than she should come back to us," and then she burst into bitter weeping again.
CHAPTER VI.
TAKEN BY SURPRISE.
After that first outburst of grief, Thomas Dawson did not speak much of his trouble, but it was none the less deep for that. In fact, it was so deep, and the wound was such a cruel one, it was almost more than he could bear.
The thought of his dead daughter never left him. Through the day, when he was at work, through the long evenings when he sat silent and sad, gazing into the fire, and through the nights when he lay sleepless, he brooded over the wrongs his daughter"s husband had done them all, and was full of remorse for his own hard-heartedness--as he called it now--in not having forgiven her at once when she ran away from her home. And more than all was he haunted by the thought of her lonely death after her cruelly hard life. He pictured her lying in her pauper"s grave in an unknown burial-ground, away amongst strangers, unknown, uncared for, unremembered, and these thoughts aged him fast.
Jessie was too young to notice it, but those older saw how he began to stoop, how his feet lagged as he walked, how the colour had faded from his hair and from the bright blue eyes, which had been such a noticeable feature of his face. All the life and fun had gone out of him too; even Jessie could not rouse him.
Patience bore her grief in another way, it was merged to some extent in her anxiety about her husband. With regard to Lizzie she felt less anxiety and pain about her now than she had done when Lizzie had been alive, and living a miserable life with the weak, ne"er-do-well husband who had been the ruin of her happiness and theirs.
Trouble left its mark on Patience too, she became gentler and quieter, she seemed to lose some of her strength and spirit, and to lean more and more on her little granddaughter. And Jessie, pleased and proud to be useful, and trusted and able to help, turned to with a will, and by degrees took a great deal on her young shoulders.
She still went to Miss Grace Barley to be taught, for the hours suited them all well, and though her grandmother protested often that it was too much for Miss Grace to do, and declared that Jessie must go to the school along with the others, Miss Grace begged to be allowed to keep her.
"Jessie can repay me by coming and being our maid by and by," she said laughingly--"that is if she wants to go out into service, and you can spare her, Mrs. Dawson."
"I shall have to some day," said Mrs. Dawson, with a sigh and a smile; "she will have to support herself, of course, when she grows up, and it"s our duty to see she has the training."
So it became the dream of Jessie"s life to be Miss Barley"s maid, to live in the "White Cottage," and have the joy and honour of keeping it in the beautiful order in which she had always seen it.
It had been a curious, uncommon education that the child had had, but the results were certainly satisfactory. She could darn and sew beautifully, make and mend, knit and patch, and read and write, cook a little, and do all manner of housework, while she was quite clever in her knowledge of flowers and their ways.
Every Sat.u.r.day morning she devoted herself to helping her grandmother clean the cottage and prepare for Sunday. It was her task to polish all the knives and forks, to dust the bedrooms and the kitchen.
Her grandmother would not let her do the harder work, such as scrubbing the floors or tables, though Jessie often longed to try; but while granny was busy washing the floors, it was Jessie"s great delight to mount on a chair and clean the little lattice windows of the kitchen and parlour.
When she was about ten years old her other longings were unexpectedly realized, and the scrubbing fell to her to do too, for one chill autumn morning Mrs. Dawson found herself too unwell to get up.
She had been ailing for a week or two. ""Tis the damp and cold got into my bones," she had said, making light of it, "and they"ll just have to get out again, that"s all. There is nothing like moving about for working it off. If I"d sat still as some folks do, I shouldn"t be able to move at all by this time."
But on this morning even she was forced to give in. "I think the cold has touched my liver," she said feebly, "and I don"t feel fit for nothing. I"ll stay in bed for a bit, that"s the best way," and indeed she felt far too unwell to do anything else. Thomas called at the doctor"s house on his way to work, and came home early to dinner to hear his report.
"He says it"s the yellow jaunders," said Jessie, in an awed voice, looking very grave and alarmed, "and he says I must not be frightened if granny turns orange colour. Do you think she has been eating too many oranges, granp? She had two on Sunday--big ones!"
Granp smiled, in spite of his anxiety. He knew that an attack of jaundice was no trifling illness for a woman of Patience"s age, and the next day he did not go to work, but waited to see the doctor himself.
The news in the morning, though, was slightly better, and although Mrs. Dawson had to keep her bed for some time, their greatest anxiety was lifted, and their spirits grew higher and more hopeful.
Jessie now was in her element. She swept and dusted, scrubbed and polished, waited on her grandmother and took care of her grandfather like any little old woman. All day long her busy feet and hands were going, never seeming to tire; and in her joy at seeing her grandmother getting well again, and her grandfather more happy, and in her pleasure in taking care of them both, her spirits kept as bright and gay, and her laugh as infectious and joyous as it was possible for any one"s to be.