"Katie, go and mix something hot--some whisky or brandy and hot water--anything! And you, papa dear, go to bed. I"ll call Reynolds and he"ll help you."
"I"m cold," he said again.
Rising, he crawled to the mirror into which he had looked last night, shuddering at sight of his own face. The mere fact that he was still in his evening clothes, the white waistcoat wrinkled and the cravat awry, shocked him inexpressibly.
"I"m cold," he said for the third time.
But when he had bathed, dressed, and begun his breakfast, the chill left him. He regained the mastery of his thoughts and the understanding of his position. A certain exaltation of suffering which had upheld him during the previous night failed him, however, now, leaving nothing but a sense of flat, commonplace misery. Thrown into relief by the daylight, the facts were more relentless--not easier of acceptance.
As he drank his coffee and tried to eat he could feel his daughter watching him from the other end of the table. Now and then he screened himself from her gaze by pretending to skim the morning paper. Once he was startled. Reflected in the gla.s.s of a picture hanging on the opposite wall he caught the image of a man in a blue uniform, who mounted the steps and rang the door-bell.
"Who"s that?" he asked, sharply. He dared not turn round to see.
"It"s only the postman, papa darling. Who else should it be?"
"Yes; of course." He breathed again. "You mustn"t mind me, dear. I"m nervous. I"m--I"m not very well."
"I see you"re not, papa. I saw it last night. I knew something was wrong."
"There"s something--very wrong."
"What is it? Tell me."
Leaning on the table, with clasped hands uplifted, the loose white lace sleeves falling away from her slender wrists, she looked at him pleadingly.
"We"ve--that is, I"ve--lost a great deal of money."
"Oh!" The sound was just above her breath. Then, after long silence, she asked: "Is it much?"
He waited before replying, seeking, for the last time, some mitigation of what he had to tell her.
"It"s all we have."
"Oh!" It was the same sound as before, just audible--a sound with a little surprise in it, a hint of something awed, but without dismay.
He forced himself to take a few sips of coffee and crumble a bit of toast.
"I don"t mind, papa. If that"s what"s troubling you so much, don"t let it any longer. Worse things have happened than that." He gulped down more coffee, not because he wanted it, but to counteract the rising in his throat. "Shall we have to lose Tory Hill?" she asked, after another silence.
He nodded an affirmative, with his head down.
"Then you mean me to understand what you said just now--quite literally.
We"ve lost all we have."
"When everything is settled," he explained, with an effort, "we shall have nothing at all. It will be worse than that, since I sha"n"t be able to pay all I owe."
"Yes; that _is_ worse," she a.s.sented, quietly.
Another silence was broken by his saying, hoa.r.s.ely:
"You"ll get married--"
"That will have to be reconsidered."
"Do you mean--on your part?"
"I suppose I mean--on everybody"s part?"
"Do you think he would want to--you must excuse the crudity of the question--do you think he would want to back out?"
"I don"t know that I could answer that. It isn"t quite to the point.
Backing out, as you call it, wouldn"t be the process--whatever happened."
He interrupted her nervously. "If this should fall through, dear, you must write to your Aunt Vic. You must eat humble pie. You were too toplofty with her as it was. She"ll take you."
"Take me, papa? Why shouldn"t I stay with you? I"d much rather."
He tried to explain. It was clearly the moment at which to do it.
"I don"t think you understand, dear, how entirely everything has gone to smash. I shall probably--I may say, certainly--I shall have to--to go--"
"I do understand that. But it often happens--especially in this country--that things go to smash, and then the people begin again. There was Lulu Sentner"s father. They lost everything they had--and she and her sisters did dressmaking. But he borrowed money, and started in from the beginning, and now they"re very well off once more. It"s the kind of thing one hears of constantly--in this country."
"You couldn"t hear of it in my case, dear, because--well, because I"ve done all that. I"ve begun again, and begun again. I"ve used up all my credit--all my chances. The things I counted on didn"t come off. You know that that happens sometimes, don"t you?--without any one being to blame at all?"
She nodded. "I think I"ve heard so."
"And now," he went on, eager that she should begin to see what he was leading her up to--"and now I couldn"t borrow a thousand dollars in all Boston, unless it was from some one who gave it to me as a charity. I"ve borrowed from every one--every penny for which I could offer security--and I owe--I owe hundreds of thousands. Do you see now how bad it is?"
"I do see how bad it is, papa. I admit it"s worse than I thought. But all the same I know that when people have high reputations other people trust them and help them through. Banks do it, don"t they? Isn"t that partly what they"re for? It was Pierpoint & Hargous who helped Lulu Sentner"s father. They stood behind him. She told me so. I"m positive that with your name they"d do as much for you. You take a gloomy outlook because you"re ill. But there"s no one in Boston--no one in New England--more esteemed or trusted. When one can say, "All is lost save honor," then, relatively speaking, there"s very little lost at all."
He got up from the table and went to his room. After these words it was physically impossible for him to tell her anything more. He had thought of a means which might bring the fact home to her through the day by a process of suggestion. Packing a small bag with toilet articles and other necessaries, he left it in a conspicuous place.
"I want Reynolds to give it to my messenger in case I send for it," he explained to her, when he had descended to the dining-room again.
She was still sitting where he left her, at the head of the table, pale, pensive, but not otherwise disturbed.
"Does that mean that you"re not coming home to-night?"
"I--I don"t know. Things may happen to--to prevent me."
"Where should you go?--to New York?"
"No; not to New York."
He half hoped she would press the question, but when she spoke it was only to say:
"I hope you"ll try to come home, because I"m sure you"re not well. Of course I understand it, now I know you"ve had so much to upset you. But I wish you"d see Dr. Scott. And, papa," she added, rising, "don"t have me on your mind--please don"t. I"m quite capable of facing the world without money. You mayn"t believe it, but I am. I could do it--somehow.
I"m like you. I"ve a great deal of self-reliance, and a great deal of something else--I don"t quite know what--that has never been taxed or called on. It may be pride, but it isn"t only pride. Whatever it is, I"m strong enough to bear a lot of trouble. I don"t want you to think of me at all in any way that will worry you."