_Am_ I very much changed, Mr. Quarren?" she said a trifle wistfully.
He did not answer immediately. After a few moments she glanced at him again and met his gaze.
"Well?" she prompted him, laughing; "are you not neglecting your manners as a declared suitor?"
"You _have_ changed."
"What a perfect pill you are!" she exclaimed, vexed--"you"re casting yourself for the role of the honest friend--and I simply hate it! Young sir, do you not understand that I"ve breakfasted, lunched and dined too long on flattery to endure anything more wholesome? If you can"t lie to me like a gentleman and a suitor your usefulness in my entourage is ended."
He said: "Do you want me to talk shop with you? I get rather tired of my trade, sometimes. It"s my trade to lie, you know."
She looked up, quickly, but he was smiling.
They remained rather silent after that. Coffee was served at table; she lighted a cigarette for him and, later, one for herself, strolling off into the drawing-room with it between her fingers, one hand resting lightly on her hip.
She seemed to have an inclination to wander about or linger before the marble fireplace and blow delicate rings of smoke at her own reflection in the mirror.
He stood a little distance behind her, watching her, and she nodded affably to him in the gla.s.s:
"I"m quite changed; you are right. I"m not as nice as I was when I first knew you.... I"m not as contented; I"m restless--I wasn"t then....
Amus.e.m.e.nt is becoming a necessity to me; and I"m not particular about the kind--as long as it does amuse me. Tell me something exciting."
"A cradle song is what you require."
"How impudent of you. I"ve a mind to punish you by retiring to that same cradle. I"m dreadfully cross, too. Do you realise that?"
"I realise how tired you are."
"And--I"ll never again be rested," she said thoughtfully, looking at her mirrored self. "I seem to understand that, now, for the first time....
Something in me will always remain a little tired. I wonder what. Do you know?"
"Conscience?" he suggested, laughing.
"Do you think so? I thought it was my heart."
"Have you acquired one?"
She laughed, too, then glanced at him askance in the gla.s.s, and turned around toward him, still smiling.
"I believe I didn"t have any heart when I first knew you. Did I?"
"I believe not," he said lightly. "Has one germinated?"
"I really don"t know. What do you think?"
He took her cigarette from her and tossed it, with his own, into the fire. She seated herself on a sofa and bent toward the blaze, her dimpled elbows denting her silken knees, her chin balanced between forefinger and thumb.
Presently she said, not looking at him: "Somehow, I"ve changed. I"m not the woman you knew. I"m beginning to realise it. It seems absurd: it was only a few weeks ago. But the world has whirled very swiftly. Each day was a little lifetime in itself; a week a century condensed; Time became only a concentrated essence, one drop of which contained eons of experience.... I wonder whether my silly head _was_ turned a little....
People said too much to me: there were too many of them--and they came too near.... And do you know--looking back at it now as I sit here talking to you--I--it seems absurd--but I believe that I was really a trifle lonely at times."
She interlaced her fingers and rested her chin on the back of them.
"I thought of you on various occasions," she added.
He was leaning against the mantel, one foot on the fender.
Her eyes rested on that foot, then lifted slowly until they remained fixed on his face which was shadowed by his hand as though to shield his eyes from the bracket light.
For a time she sat motionless, considering him, interested in his silence and abstraction--in the set of his shoulders, and the unconscious grace of him. Light, touching his short blond hair, made it glossy like a boy"s where his hand had disarranged it above the forehead. Certainly it was very pleasant to see him again--agreeable to be with him--not exactly restful, perhaps, but distinctly agreeable--for even in the frequent silences that had crept in between them there was no invitation to repose of mind. On the contrary, she was perfectly conscious of a reserve force now awaking--of a growing sense of freshness within her; of physical renewal, of unsuspected latent vigour.
"Are you attempting to go to sleep, Mr. Quarren?" she inquired at last.
He dropped his hand, smiling: she made an instinctive move--scarcely an invitation, scarcely even perceptible. But he came over and seated himself on the arm of the lounge beside her.
"Your letters," he said, "did a lot for me."
"I wrote very few.... Did they really interest you?"
"A lot."
"How?"
"They helped that lame old gaffer, Time, to limp along toward the back door of Eternity."
"How do you mean?"
"Otherwise he would never have stirred a step--until to-night."
"That is very gallant of you, Mr. Quarren--but a little sentimental--isn"t it?"
"Do you think so?"
"I don"t know. I"m a poor judge of real sentiment--being unaccustomed to it."
"How many men made you declarations?"
"Oh; is _that_ real sentiment? I thought it was merely love."
He looked at her. "Don"t," he said. "You mustn"t harden. Don"t become like the rest."
She said, amused, or pretending to be: "You are clever; I _have_ grown hard. To-day I can survey, unmoved, many, many things which I could not even look at yesterday. But it makes life more interesting. Don"t you think so?"
"Do you, Mrs. Leeds?"
"I think so.... A woman might as well know the worst truths about life--and about men."
"Not about men."
"Do you prefer her to remain a dupe?"