"You understand me well enough," I cried, almost angrily.
He looked at me seriously now, a cold glitter in his small eyes.
"I wonder do you understand yourself?" he asked. "I think not. I think not. Since G.o.d has made you a fool, it but remains for man to make you a priest, and thus complete G.o.d"s work."
"You cannot move me by your taunts," I said. "You have a foul mind, Messer Fifanti."
He approached me slowly, his untidily shod feet slip-slopping on the wooden floor.
"Because," said he, "I suspect that Messer Gambara... that Messer Gambara and Madonna... that... You understand me," he mocked me, with a mimicry of my own confusion. "And what affair may it be of yours whom I suspect or of what I suspect them where my own are concerned?"
"It is my affair, as it is the affair of every man who would be accounted gentle, to defend the honour of a pure and saintly lady from the foul aspersions of slander."
"Knight-errantry, by the Host!" quoth he, and his brows shot up on his steep brow. Then they came down again to scowl. "No doubt, my preux-chevalier, you will have definite knowledge of the groundlessness of these same slanders," he said, moving backwards, away from me, towards the door; and as he moved now his feet made no sound, though I did not yet notice this nor, indeed, his movement at all.
"Knowledge?" I roared at him. "What knowledge can you need beyond what is afforded by her face? Look in it, Messer Fifanti, if you would see innocence and purity and chast.i.ty! Look in it!"
"Very well," said he. "Let us look in it."
And quite suddenly he pulled the door open to disclose Giuliana standing there, erect but in a listening att.i.tude.
"Look in it!" he mocked me, and waved one of his bony hands towards that perfect countenance.
There was shame and confusion in her face, and some anger. But she turned without a word, and went quickly down the pa.s.sage, followed by his evil, cackling laugh.
Then he looked at me quite solemnly. "I think," said he, "you had best get to your studies. You will find more than enough to engage you there.
Leave my affairs to me, boy."
There was almost a menace in his voice, and after what had happened it was impossible to pursue the matter.
Sheepishly, overwhelmed with confusion, I went out--a knight-errant with a shorn crest.
CHAPTER IV. MY LORD GAMBARA CLEARS THE GROUND
I had angered her! Worse; I had exposed her to humiliation at the hands of that unworthy animal who soiled her in thought with the slime of his suspicions. Through me she had been put to the shameful need of listening at a door, and had been subjected to the ignominy of being so discovered. Through me she had been mocked and derided!
It was all anguish to me. For her there was no shame, no humiliation, no pain I would not suffer, and take joy in the suffering so that it be for her. But to have submitted that sweet, angelic woman to suffering--to have incurred her just anger! Woe me!
I came to the table that evening full of uneasiness, very unhappy, feeling it an effort to bring myself into her presence and endure be it her regard or her neglect. To my relief she sent word that she was not well and would keep her chamber; and Fifanti smiled oddly as he stroked his blue chin and gave me a sidelong glance. We ate in silence, and when the meal was done, I departed, still without a word to my preceptor, and went to shut myself up again in my room.
I slept ill that night, and very early next morning I was astir. I went down into the garden somewhere about the hour of sunrise, through the wet gra.s.s that was all scintillant with dew. On the marble bench by the pond, where the water-lilies were now rotting, I flung myself down, and there was I found a half-hour later by Giuliana herself.
She stole up gently behind me, and all absorbed and moody as I was, I had no knowledge of her presence until her crisp boyish voice startled me out of my musings.
"Of what do we brood here so early, sir saint?" quoth she.
I turned to meet her laughing eyes. "You... you can forgive me?" I faltered foolishly.
She pouted tenderly. "Should I not forgive one who has acted foolishly out of love for me?"
"It was, it was..." I cried; and there stopped, all confused, feeling myself growing red under her lazy glance.
"I know it was," she answered. She set her elbows on the seat"s tall back until I could feel her sweet breath upon my brow. "And should I bear you a resentment, then? My poor Agostino, have I no heart to feel?
Am I but a cold, reasoning intelligence like that thing my husband?
O G.o.d! To have been mated to that withered pedant! To have been sacrificed, to have been sold into such bondage! Me miserable!"
"Giuliana!" I murmured soothingly, yet agonized myself.
"Could none have foretold me that you must come some day?"
"Hush!" I implored her. "What are you saying?"
But though I begged her to be silent, my soul was avid for more such words from her--from her, the most perfect and beautiful of women.
"Why should I not?" said she. "Is truth ever to be stifled? Ever?"
I was mad, I know--quite mad. Her words had made me so. And when, to ask me that insistent question, she brought her face still nearer, I flung down the reins of my unreason and let it ride amain upon its desperate, reckless course. In short, I too leaned forward, I leaned forward, and I kissed her full upon those scarlet, parted lips.
I kissed her, and fell back with a cry that was of anguish almost--so poignantly had the sweet, fierce pain of that kiss run through my every fibre. And as I cried out, so too did she, stepping back, her hands suddenly to her face. But the next moment she was peering up at the windows of the house--those inscrutable eyes that looked upon our deed; that looked and of which it was impossible to discern how much they might have seen.
"If he should have seen us!" was her cry; and it moved me unpleasantly that such should have been the first thought my kiss inspired in her.
"If he should have seen us! Gesu! I have enough to bear already!"
"I care not," said I. "Let him see. I am not Messer Gambara. No man shall put an insult upon you on my account, and live."
I was become the very ranting, roaring, fire-breathing type of lover who will slaughter a whole world to do pleasure to his mistress or to spare her pain--I--I--I, Agostino d"Anguissola--who was to be ordained next month and walk in the ways of St. Augustine!
Laugh as you read--for very pity, laugh!
"Nay, nay," she rea.s.sured herself. "He will be still abed. He was snoring when I left." And she dismissed her fears, and looked at me again, and returned to the matter of that kiss.
"What have you done to me, Agostino?"
I dropped my glance before her languid eyes. "What I have done to no other woman yet," I answered, a certain gloom creeping over the exultation that still thrilled me. "O Giuliana, what have you done to me? You have bewitched me; You have made me mad!" And I set my elbows on my knees and took my head in my hands, and sat there, overwhelmed now by the full consciousness of the irrevocable thing that I had done, a thing that must brand my soul for ever, so it seemed.
To have kissed a maid would have been ill enough for one whose aims were mine. But to kiss a wife, to become a cicisbeo! The thing a.s.sumed in my mind proportions foolishly, extravagantly beyond its evil reality.
"You are cruel, Agostino," she whispered behind me. She had come to lean again upon the back of the bench. "Am I alone to blame? Can the iron withstand the lodestone? Can the rain help falling upon the earth? Can the stream flow other than downhill?" She sighed. "Woe me! It is I who should be angered that you have made free of my lips. And yet I am here, wooing you to forgive me for the sin that is your own."
I cried out at that and turned to her again, and I was very white, I know.
"You tempted me!" was my coward"s cry.
"So said Adam once. Yet G.o.d thought otherwise, for Adam was as fully punished as was Eve." She smiled wistfully into my eyes, and my senses reeled again. And then old Busio, the servant, came suddenly forth from the house upon some domestic errand to Giuliana, and thus was that situation mercifully brought to an end.