It was a bitter thought. The intensity of that bitterness made me realize with alarm how it still was with me. And pondering this, I fell asleep, utterly worn out in body and in mind by the awful turmoil of that day.
CHAPTER III. GAMBARA"S INTERESTS
I awakened to find a man standing beside me. He was m.u.f.fled in a black cloak and carried a lanthorn. Behind him the door gaped as he had left it.
Instantly I sat up, conscious of my circ.u.mstance and surroundings, and at my movement this visitor spoke.
"You sleep very soundly for a man in your case." said he, and the voice was that of my Lord Gambara, its tone quite coldly critical.
He set down the lanthorn on a stool, whence it shed a wheel of yellow light intersected with black beams. His cloak fell apart, and I saw that he was dressed for riding, very plainly, in sombre garments, and that he was armed.
He stood slightly to one side that the light might fall upon my face, leaving his own in shadow; thus he considered me for some moments in silence. At last, very slowly, very bitterly, shaking his head as he spoke.
"You fool, you clumsy fool!" he said.
Having drawn, as you have seen, my own conclusions from the att.i.tude of the mob, I was in little doubt as to the precise bearing of his words.
I answered him sincerely. "If folly were all my guilt," said I, "it would be well."
He sniffed impatiently. "Still sanctimonious!" he sneered. "Tcha! Up now, and play the man, at least. You have shed your robe of sanct.i.ty, Messer Agostino; have done with pretence!"
"I do not pretend," I answered him. "And as for playing the man, I shall accept what punishment the law may have for me with fort.i.tude at least.
If I can but expiate..."
"Expiate a fig!" he snapped, interrupting me. "Why do you suppose that I am here?"
"I wait to learn."
"I am here because through your folly you have undone us all. What need," he cried, the anger of expostulation quivering in his voice, "what need was there to kill that oaf Fifanti?"
"He would have killed me," said I. "I slew him in self-defence."
"Ha! And do you hope to save your neck with such a plea?"
"Nay. I have no thought of urging it. I but tell it you."
"There is not the need to tell me anything," he answered, his anger very plain. "I am very well informed of all. Rather, let me tell you something. Do you realize, sir, that you have made it impossible for me to abide another day in Piacenza?"
"I am sorry..." I began lamely.
"Present your regrets to Satan," he snapped. "Me they avail nothing.
I am put to the necessity of abandoning my governorship and fleeing by night like a hunted thief. And I have you to thank for it. You see me on the point of departure. My horses wait above. So you may add my ruin to the other fine things you accomplished yesternight. For a saint you are over-busy, sir." And he turned away and strode the length of my cell and back, so that, at last, I had a glimpse of his face, which was drawn and scowling. Gone now was the last vestige of his habitual silkiness; the pomander-ball hung neglected, and his delicate fingers tugged viciously at his little pointed beard, his great sapphire ring flashing sombrely.
"Look you, Ser Agostino, I could kill you and take joy in it. I could, by G.o.d!"
His eyes upon me, he drew from his breast a folded paper. "Instead, I bring you liberty. I open your doors for you, and bid you escape. Here, man, take this paper. Present it to the officer at the Fodesta Gate.
He will let you pa.s.s. And then away with you, out of the territory of Piacenza."
For an instant my heart-beats seemed suspended by astonishment. I swung my legs round, and half rose, excitedly. Then I sank back again. My mind was made up. I was tired of the world; sick of life the first draught of which had turned so bitter in my throat. If by my death I might expiate my sins and win pardon by my submission and humility, it was all I could desire. I should be glad to be released from all the misery and sorrow into which I had been born.
I told him so in some few words. "You mean me well, my lord," I ended, "and I thank you. But..."
"By G.o.d and the Saints!" he blazed, "I do not mean you well at all. I mean you anything but well. Have I not said that I could kill you with satisfaction? Whatever be the sins of Egidio Gambara, he is no hypocrite, and he lets his enemies see his face unmasked."
"But, then," I cried, amazed, "why do you offer me my freedom?"
"Because this cursed populace is in such a temper that if you are brought to trial I know not what may happen. As likely as not we shall have an insurrection, open revolt against the Pontifical authority, and red war in the streets. And this is not the time for it.
"The Holy Father requires the submission of these people. We are upon the eve of Duke Pier Luigi"s coming to occupy his new States, and it imports that he should be well received, that he should be given a loving welcome by his subjects. If, instead, they meet him with revolt and defiance, the reasons will be sought, and the blame of the affair will recoil upon me. Your cousin Cosimo will see to that. He is a very subtle gentleman, this cousin of yours, and he has a way of working to his own profit. So now you understand. I have no mind to be crushed in this business. Enough have I suffered already through you, enough am I suffering in resigning my governorship. So there is but one way out. There must be no trial to-morrow. It must be known that you have escaped. Thus they will be quieted, and the matter will blow over. So now, Ser Agostino, we understand each other. You must go."
"And whither am I to go?" I cried, remembering my mother and that Mondolfo--the only place of safety--was closed to me by her cruelly pious hands.
"Whither?" he echoed. "What do I care? To h.e.l.l--anywhere, so that you get out of this."
"I"d sooner hang," said I quite seriously.
"You"ld hang and welcome, for all the love I bear you," he answered, his impatience growing. "But if you hang blood will be shed, innocent lives will be lost, and I myself may come to suffer."
"For you, sir, I care nothing," I answered him, taking his own tone, and returning him the same brutal frankness that he used with me. "That you deserve to suffer I do not doubt. But since other blood than yours might be shed as you say, since innocent lives might be lost... Give me the paper."
He was frowning upon me, and smiling viperishly at the same time.
"I like your frankness better than your piety," said he. "So now we understand each other, and know that neither is in the other"s debt.
Hereafter beware of Egidio Gambara. I give you this last loyal warning.
See that you do not come into my way again."
I rose and looked at him--looked down from my greater height. I knew well the source of this last, parting show of hatred. Like Cosimo"s it sprang from jealousy. And a growth more potential of evil does not exist.
He bore my glance a moment, then turned and took up the lanthorn.
"Come," he said, and obediently I followed him up the winding stone staircase, and so to the very gates of the Palace.
We met no one. What had become of the guards, I cannot think; but I am satisfied that Gambara himself had removed them. He opened the wicket for me, and as I stepped out he gave me the paper and whistled softly.
Almost at once I heard a sound of m.u.f.fled hooves under the colonnade, and presently loomed the figures of a man and a mule; both dim and ghostly in the pearly light of dawn--for that was the hour.
Gambara followed me out, and pulled the wicket after him.
"That beast is for you," he said curtly. "It will the better enable you to get away."
As curtly I acknowledged the gift, and mounted whilst the groom held the stirrup for me.
O! it was the oddest of transactions! My Lord Gambara with death in his heart very reluctantly giving me a life I did not want.
I dug my heels into the mule"s sides and started across the silent, empty square, then plunged into a narrow street where the gloom was almost as of midnight, and so pushed on.
I came out into the open s.p.a.ce before the Porta Fodesta, and so to the gate itself. From one of the windows of the gatehouse, a light shone yellow, and, presently, in answer to my call, out came an officer followed by two men, one of whom carried a lanthorn swinging from his pike. He held this light aloft, whilst the officer surveyed me.