"What for?" he asked.
Lady Splay groaned in despair.
"Oh, I was sure you were going to ask that. You are so unpleasant." She put her hand to her forehead. "But I know quite well. Yes, I do." Her face suddenly cleared. "He is a conversationalist--that"s it--a great conversationalist. He is the sort of man," she spoke as one repeating a lesson, "who would have been welcome at the breakfast table of Mr.
Rogers."
"Rogers?" Harold Jupp asked sternly. "I don"t know him."
"And probably never will, Harold, I am sorry to say," said Lady Splay triumphantly. "Mr. Rogers was in heaven many years ago." She suddenly changed her note and began to implore. "Oh, do be pleasant, you and Dennis!"
Harold Jupp"s mouth began to twitch, but he composed it again, with an effort, to the stern lines befitting the occasion.
"I"ll tell you what I think, Lady Splay," said he, p.r.o.nouncing judgment.
"Your new guest"s a Plater."
The dreadful expected word was spoken. Lady Splay broke into appeals, denials, threats. "Oh, he isn"t, he isn"t!" She turned to her husband.
"Chichester, exert your authority! He"s not a Plater really. He"s not right down the course. And even if he were, they"ve got to be polite to him."
Sir Chichester, however, was the last man who could be lured into the expression of a definite opinion.
"My dear, I never interfere in the arrangements of the house. You have your realm. I have mine. I am sure those papers are being kept in the servants" hall," and he left the room hurriedly.
"Oh, how mean men are!" cried Millie; and they all began to laugh.
Lady Splay saw a glimpse of hope in their laughter and became much more cheerful.
"As you are not racing, dear," she said to Joan, "he will be quite a pleasant companion for you."
Sir Chichester returned with the evening papers. Dennis and Miranda and Harold Jupp rose to go upstairs and change into flannels; and suddenly, a good hour before his time, Harper, the butler, announced:
"Mr. Albany Todd."
Mr. Albany Todd was a stout, consequential personage, and ovoid in appearance. Thin legs broadened out to very wide hips, and from the hips he curved in again to a bald and shiny head, which in its turn curved inwards to a high, narrow crown. Lady Splay casting a look of appeal towards her refractory young guests hurried forward to meet him.
"This is my husband." She presented him to the others. "I was going to send the motor-car to meet the seven o"clock train."
"Oh, thank you, Lady Splay," Mr. Albany Todd returned in a booming voice. "I have been staying not more than twenty miles from here, with a dear old friend, a rare and inestimable being, Lord Bilberry, and he was kind enough to send me in."
"What, old man Bilberry," cried Harold Jupp. "Isn"t he balmy?"
"Balmy, sir?" Mr. Todd asked in surprise. "He takes the air every morning, if that is what you mean." He turned again to Lady Splay. "He keeps the most admirable table. You must know him, Lady Splay. I will see to it."
"Thank you," said Millie Splay humbly.
"Ah, m.u.f.fins!" said Mr. Albany Todd with glistening eyes. He ate one and took another. "These are really as good as the m.u.f.fins I ate at a wonderful week-end party a fortnight ago."
The chatter of the others ceased. The great conversationalist, it seemed, was off. Miranda, Dennis, Harold Jupp, Sir Chichester, even Joan looked up with expectation.
"Yes," said Lady Splay, encouraging him. She looked around at her guests. "Now you shall see," she seemed to say.
"How we laughed! What sprightly talk! The fine flavour of that party is quite incommunicable. Just dear old friends, you see, intimate, congenial friends."
Mr. Albany Todd stopped. It appeared that he needed a question to be put to him. Lady Splay dutifully put it.
"And where did this party take place, Mr. Albany Todd?"
Mr. Albany Todd smiled and dusted the crumbs from his knees.
"At the Earl of Wimborough"s little place in the north. Do you know the Earl of Wimborough? No? You must, dear lady! I will see to it."
"Thank you," said Millie Splay.
Harold Jupp looked eagerly at the personage, and said, "I hope Wimborough won"t go jumping this winter."
"Jumping!" cried Mr. Albany Todd turning indignantly. "I should think not indeed! Jumping! Why, he is seventy-three!"
He was utterly scandalised that any one should attribute the possibility of such wayward behaviour to the venerable Earl. In his agitation he ate another m.u.f.fin. After all, if the n.o.bleman did go jumping in the winter why should this young and horsey man presume to criticise him.
"Harold Jupp was drawing a distinction between flat racing and steeple-chasing, Mr. Albany Todd," Sir Chichester suavely explained.
"Oh, I see." Mr. Albany Todd was appeased. He turned a condescending face upon Joan Whitworth.
"And what are you reading, Miss Whitworth?"
"What ho!" interposed Harold Jupp.
Joan shot at him a withering glance.
"It wouldn"t interest you." She smiled on Mr. Albany Todd. "It"s Browning."
"Well, that"s just where you are wrong," returned Jupp. "Browning"s the only poet I can stick. There"s a ripping thing of his I learnt at school."
""I sprang to the saddle and Joris and he, I galloped, Dirck galloped, we galloped all three.""
"Oh," exclaimed Miranda eagerly, "a horse race!"
"Nothing of the sort, Miranda. I am thoroughly ashamed of you," said Harold in reproof. "It"s "How they Brought the Good News from Ghent to Aix.""
Here Joan intervened disdainfully.
"But that"s not Browning!"
Lady Splay looked perplexed.
"Are you sure, Joan?"
Joan tossed her head.