He made no pretence of misunderstanding her.
"Very," he answered. "If the great trial is coming, I want to fall back into the rank and file. Pushing and splashing is for peace times."
"Oh, I understand that!" she cried.
These were the young days. The jealousies of Departments, the intrigues to pull this man down and put that man up, not because of his capacity or failure, but because he fitted or did not fit the inner politics of the Office, the capture of honours by the stay-at-homes--all the little miseries and horrors that from time immemorial have disfigured the management of wars--they lay in the future. With millions of people, as with this couple speeding among the uplands, the one thought was--the great test is at hand.
"You go up to London to-night, and it may be a long while before we see you," said Joan. She brought the car to a halt on the edge of Duncton Hill. "Look for luck and for memory at the Weald of Suss.e.x," she cried with a little catch in her throat.
Fields and great trees, and here and there the white smoke of a pa.s.sing train and beyond the Blackdown and the misty slopes of Leith Hill--Hillyard was never to forget it, neither that scene nor the eager face and shining eyes of Joan Whitworth against the blue and gold of the summer afternoon.
"You will remember that you have friends here, who will be glad to hear news of you," she said, and she threw in the clutch and started the car down the hill.
CHAPTER XI
STELLA RUNS TO EARTH
"You have been back in England long?" asked Stella Croyle.
"A little while," said Hillyard evasively.
It was the first week of September. But since his return from Rackham Park to London his days had been pa.s.sed in the examination of files of doc.u.ments; and what little time he had enjoyed free from that labour had been given to quiet preparations for his departure.
"You might have come to see me," Stella Croyle suggested. "You knew that I wished to see you."
"Yes, but I have been very busy," he answered. "I am going away."
Stella Croyle looked at him curiously.
"You too! You have joined up?"
Hillyard shook his head.
"No good," he answered. "I told you my lungs were my weak point. I am turned down--and I am going abroad. It"s not very pleasant to find oneself staying on in London, going to a little dinner party here and there where all the men are oldish, when all of one"s friends have gone."
Stella Croyle"s face and voice softened.
"Yes. I can understand that," she said.
Hillyard watched her narrowly, but there was no doubt that she was sincere. She had received him with an air of grievance, and a hard accent in her voice. But she was entering now into a comprehension of the regrets which must be troubling him.
"I am sorry," she continued. "I never cared very much for women. I have very few friends amongst them. And so I am losing--every one." She held out her hand to him in sympathy. "But if I were a man and had been turned down by the doctors, I don"t think that I could stay. I should go like you and hide."
She smiled and poured out two cups of tea.
"That is a habit of yours, even though you are not a man," Hillyard replied.
"What do you mean?"
"You run away and hide."
Stella looked at her visitor in surprise.
"Who told you that?"
"Sir Charles Hardiman."
Stella Croyle was silent for a few moments.
"Yes, that"s true," and she laughed suddenly. "When things go wrong, I become rather impossible. I have often made up my mind to live entirely in the country, but I never carry the plan out."
She let Hillyard drink his tea and light a cigarette before she approached the question which was torturing her.
"You had a good time in the Sudan!" she began. "Lots of heads?"
"Yes. I had a perfect time."
"And your friend? Captain Luttrell. Did you meet him?"
Hillyard had pondered on the answer which he would give to her when she asked that question. If he answered, "Yes,"--why, then he must go on, he must tell her something of what pa.s.sed between Luttrell and himself, how he delivered his message and what answer he received. Let him wrap that answer up in words, however delicate and vague, she would see straight to the answer. Her heart would lead her there. To plead forgetfulness would be merely to acknowledge that he slighted her; and she would not believe him. So he lied.
"No. I never met Luttrell. He was away down in Khordofan when I was on the White Nile."
Stella Croyle had turned a little away from Hillyard when she put the question; and she sat now with her face averted for a long while.
Nothing broke the silence but the ticking of the clock.
"I am sorry," said Hillyard.
No doubt her disappointment was bitter. She had counted very much, no doubt, on this chance of the two men meeting; on her message reaching her lover, and a "little word" now and again from him coming to her hands. Some morning she would wake up and find an envelope in the familiar writing waiting upon the tray beside her tea--that, no doubt, had been the hope which she had lived on this many a day. Hillyard was not fool enough to hold that he understood either the conclusions at which women arrived, or the emotions by which they jumped to them. But he attributed these hopes and thoughts with some confidence to Stella Croyle--until she turned and showed him her face. The sympathy and gentleness had gone from it. She was white with pa.s.sion and her eyes blazed.
"Why do you lie to me?" she cried. "I met Harry this morning."
Hillyard was more startled by the news of Luttrell"s presence in London than confused by the detection of his lie.
"Harry Luttrell!" he exclaimed. "You are sure? He is in England?"
"Yes. I met him in Piccadilly outside Jerningham"s"--she mentioned the great outfitters and provision merchants--"he told me that he had run across you in the Sudan. What made you say that you hadn"t?"
Hillyard was taken at a loss.
"Well?" she insisted.
Hillyard could see no escape except by the way of absolute frankness.
"Because I gave him your message, Mrs. Croyle," he replied slowly, "and I judged that he was not going to answer it."