_Valeria_ Decorations. Wake up!
_Maude_ (goes to desk). O yes! (rummages). This desk is disgraceful!
Here it is! (Reads crumpled paper.) "Be it resolved--" goodness, that"s about poor Ned Woodruff! Jack, who was on that committee?
_Jack_ (smoothing Valeria"s gloves on his knee). Miss Secretary, I do not keep the minutes.
_Maude_ Well, you were presiding! (rummaging). Here it is,--six,--is that enough? Five, rather,--Hal Taylor won"t serve.
_Valeria_ (taking the list). O yes, he will.
_Maude_ Said he wouldn"t! Told Mabel Hopeland so last night.
_Valeria_ (calmly). Yes, he will.
_Maude_ Well, he said he wouldn"t.
_Valeria_ (pocketing the list, unmoved). He will if I ask him.
_Maude_ (shutting desk with a bang). Oh!
(Enter Miss Hoppenh.o.e.r, with shawls, salt bags, etc.)
_Miss H._ Jennie, you"d better go to bed.
_Mrs. De S._ (sadly). I will. I hope I shall not have an attack.
_Miss H._ Attack! We"ll all have an attack before Friday night! (She busies herself about the couch. Valeria and Maude go out.)
_Miss H._ Now, can you walk, do you think? I"d better call Katherine, hadn"t I? Katherine! Be careful of that bag--it"s hot--awful hot! Lean on me--(they go out, but Miss Hoppenh.o.e.r runs back to pick up things).
_Jack_ Can"t I help you! A fellow never knows what to do when--when--anybody has an attack.
(Maude returns.)
_Jack_ Come on, Maude, I"ve got an old tandem out there. Let"s take a spin.
_Miss H._ (dropping a shawl and two bottles). Got a what?
_Jack_ Go get ready, Maude. A tandem.
(Maude goes.)
_Miss H._ (moveless with astonishment). You ride it?
_Jack_ (respectfully). Yes, ma"am.
_Miss H._ (aghast). Ride it?
_Jack_ (fascinated). Yessum. (earnestly). Yes, ma"am.
_Miss H._ Ride a tantrum! Well, such goings on! And all of it comes from graduating! Thank Heaven, I never graduated!
(Commences to pick up things. Curtain.)
ACT II.
(Sitting-room of the De Smythe home. Bouquets with cards attached.
Maude"s desk, open, in confusion. Her hat and gloves on a chair. Jack, Miss Rantum and Maude, latter "practicing.")
_Miss R._ (decidedly). It is best to hold it in one hand.
_Jack_ (surprised beyond measure). Oh, are you going to read it?
_Maude_ (standing in the middle of the room). W-e-l-l, not exactly read it, you know.
_Maude_ I really know it--almost.
_Jack_ Then don"t hold the paper.
_Maude_ (apprehensively). Oh, but if I should forget!
_Jack_ (confidently). You won"t!
_Maude_ I might! Oh, it"s very easy for you to say orate, for you can!
_Jack_ (conscious of ability). Yes, but you could, too.
_Miss R._ What is the subject of your oration, Mr. Hamilton?
_Jack_ (modestly). "Universality in Statecraft."
_Maude_ And it"s a dandy! You ought to hear him when he comes to, "For of all the nations, builded of power and sealed with blood--" (in tremendous tones).
_Jack_ Oh, now, Maude, I say, let up.
_Maude_ Well, honest, you are fine. No I should die if I forgot,--just simply die.
_Miss R._ It is wiser for her to hold her ma.n.u.script, I think. This is an essay, not an oration.
_Maude_ (sitting down and getting up, a la Delsarte). Of course, Jack, don"t you see? It is an essay, not an oration. Now, did I get up right?
_Miss R._ Try it again.
_Maude_ (repeats the operation and advances very stiffly). Is that it?