(Jack looks over top of paper absently, then resumes reading.)
_Maude_ (explosively). Jack, what do you think? Only fancy--Valeria is--Jack, listen! Put down your horrid paper! Valeria is married.
(He looks at her vacantly.)
_Jack_ Well?
_Maude_ Well? Listen: Valeria is married.
_Jack_ (waking to the situation). Is that so! Valeria--well, well. I"m not astonished.
_Maude_ (pensively). Why not?
_Jack_ (at a venture). O, because--she is so--so handsome.
_Maude_ (scornfully). She isn"t handsome! Where are your eyes? She"s clever--clever, that"s what Valeria is. But not handsome,--certainly not. She squints.
_Jack_ (staring). I thought you were so fond of her.
_Maude_ (with dignity). I am, I am awfully fond of her--I"ve always been. But (cuttingly) affection doesn"t blind me. I can love her and see her faults. n.o.body ever called Valeria handsome.
_Jack_ (hunting his place on the page). Maybe it was stunning.
_Maude_ (with intense emphasis). Stunning!
_Jack_ (turning the page with a prodigious rattling). Hal used to rave over her.
_Maude_ O! Hal, he--don"t rattle your paper so, you make me nervous! Hal didn"t care for her.
_Jack_ (absently). No, I suppose not, I suppose not. Of course, n.o.body could.
(Silence. Both read.)
_Maude_ (intent on letter and all to herself). I wonder what she wore!
She is too old for white. (reads aloud). "You"ll be surprised, my dear." Yes, I confess I am. (gazing at coffee urn thoughtfully). Yes, I am. (resumes reading). Where was I? "I want to tell you first, dear." Here it is. So she did wear white--now, I am astonished. (reads on). For pity sakes! Jack
_Jack_ (starts violently, crushing paper). A man might as well live on Vesuvius.
_Maude_ (in great excitement). But, Jack, guess who married her.
_Jack_ (with calm certainty). The man in the Moon. He"s too jolly to mind squints.
_Maude_ Just guess. You never can.
_Jack_ (impatiently, much wrought upon.) Then tell me.
_Maude_ (in an explosive). Hal!
_Jack_ (inanely). Hal!
_Maude_ (calmly, the mine sprung). Hal Taylor.
_Jack_ Hal Taylor. Well, I am--bobbed!
_Maude_ I"m not surprised.
_Jack_ You said Hal didn"t care for her.
_Maude_ (very slowly). He doesn"t, Jack. Hal was--roped in.
_Jack_ (stares, then gives vent to a long whistle of astonishment).
Well, you women!
_Maude_ Don"t talk to me. I am disgusted!
_Jack_ (ruefully). Well! (He stares, folds napkin, unfolds it and takes up his newspaper.)
_Maude_ Don"t sit there, just saying "Well" all the time!
_Jack_ (slowly). Say, what is it to you?
_Maude_ (sobs a little). She h-has deceived me--basely deceived me. But I don"t care. I shall send her a cut-gla.s.s berry dish,--maybe a Tiffany c-c-cut! (dries her eyes resolutely). Coffee, dear?
_Jack_ (irritably; a trifle suspicious yet). Yes, don"t I always take coffee?
_Maude_ (plaintively). Don"t scold me. I cannot endure much more. To think Valeria--
_Jack_ (with decision, carving the steak). Don"t think, then. Drop it.
What"s your other letter?
_Maude_ (sadly). I don"t care--I don"t care for anything. (takes a biscuit). The biscuits are burned.
_Jack_ No, they are not. Never mind--give the letter to me.
(Maude gazes pensively at nothing. Jack opens the letter with a fork, and reads silently.)
_Jack_ (to himself, muttering). Of course, it"s money,--always money.
Only a dollar and fifty cents apiece,--a man ought not growl. Umph!
"The happy old days." Yes, I remember.
_Maude_ (meekly). Remember what, Jack, dear? (He reads. Silence. She folds and unfolds Valeria"s letter.)
_Jack_ (suddenly). By George!
_Maude_ (b.u.t.tering a biscuit, slowly). What is it?
_Jack_ By George!