It is perhaps for lack of such attentions and courtesies, more than for anything else, that the Occidentals consider the Oriental woman to be the slave of her husband. And, conversely, because of his giving the precedence to woman in all the courtesies and comforts of life, the Orientals, _both men and women_, consider the Occidental to be the slave of his wife. How often have I heard Syrians say, "An _affrenjee_ [that is, a European] is quite a man until his wife whispers something to him. Then he becomes her slave; he does just what she tells him."
The Oriental"s indifference to those fine points of behavior toward woman does not spring from the fact that he considers her to be intrinsically his inferior, and consequently his slave. I never had the slightest reason, nor the faintest suggestion, either by example or precept, to believe that my mother was in any way {318} my father"s inferior. "Thou shalt honour thy father _and_ thy mother" is a commandment which was born of the deepest life of the East. I can think of no circ.u.mstances in Eastern life which compel a Syrian to think of his mother, sister, and wife in other than terms of equality in all essentials with the male members of the family.[1]
In my judgment it is the Oriental"s deportment, rather than his real intentions, which condemns him in the sight of Occidentals for his att.i.tude toward woman. It is perhaps hazardous to undertake to differentiate between character and conduct, between the motive and the method by which that motive is put into action. It is customary, however, to say of a person that "his heart is in the right place, but he does not know how to act." I venture to say that {319} this characterization fits the case of the average Oriental. His heart is in the right place. His natural endowments are good. He is quick-witted, kind, generous, pious, obedient to parents, and a lover of his home. So far as all these fundamentals are concerned, I find no great difference between the Easterners and the Westerners.
However, compared with his Western cousin, the son of the Near East has only a slight acquaintance with the _art_ of living. The working-out of details with the view of creating harmony has always seemed to him vanity and vexation of spirit. His intense desire for simple, spontaneous, easy living has always refused to be enc.u.mbered by exacting standards. In this respect he is a boy in man"s clothing.
For an example, the home to him is little more than a shelter. The riches of the home are not the artistic appointments, but human a.s.sociations. Architectural schemes, interior decorations, books, musical instruments, living by the clock, and other Western glories are to the Oriental {320} dispensable luxuries. The one-room or two-room house, very simply furnished, is the essential part of the home. Why then should one be burdened with more? The "color scheme," the harmony or contrast of wall-paper with picture frames and carpets, and the thousand and one articles of useful and ornamental furniture which crowd the American home and make the "servant-girl problem" well-nigh insoluble, are to the average Oriental a delusion and a snare. His table appointments are also very simple. To him the "one thing needful" is enough food to sustain life. He has no "cook-book." The varieties of cake and pie, and the mult.i.tude of side dishes which load the American table, do not appear on the Syrian"s bill of fare. One dish of cooked cereals, or meat and rice or some other wholesome combination, and a few loaves of bread, satisfy his hunger. His modest stores of grape mola.s.ses, figs, and raisins, which he visits at irregular intervals, satisfy his craving for sweets, and his home-made wine gives color and gayety to his feasts.
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The same simple rules govern the Oriental"s social activities. Whether as an individual or as a domestic and social being, he hates to be standardized. To him formalities have no claim upon those who are true friends and social equals. Spontaneous living must not be too closely yoked with etiquette, nor native wisdom with technical culture. "_Meta weck"at elmahabbet artafa" ettekleef_" (when love occurs formalities cease) is one of the Oriental"s ancient and cherished maxims. From early childhood the Americans are taught to observe, even within the family circle, the niceties of "Please," "Thank you," "Pardon me," "I beg your pardon," "May I trouble you," and so forth. To a son of the East such behavior is altogether proper among strangers, but not among those who really _love one another_. Between husband and wife, parent and child, brothers and sisters, and true friends such formalities appear to Easterners not only superficial, but utterly ridiculous. For such persons the most essential thing is that they should love one another. As {322} lovers they have a right to _demand_ favors from one another. The commands of love are sweet; they must not be alloyed with tiresome formalities.
Of course this "friendliness" of the Oriental is not altogether an unmixed blessing. He relies too much upon his good intentions, which his conduct does not always show. Judged, not only by Western standards, but by the standards of the cultivated minority of his own people, he is found wanting. It is not always easy for him to be familiar without being vulgar, and to distinguish between the legitimate claims of friendship and intrusion upon the exclusive rights of others. His plea always is that he means well, which is generally true. "His heart is in the right place."
Now I believe it can be easily seen that the Easterner"s att.i.tude toward woman, which now rises to the height of religious reverence, now verges on contempt, is to be traced to his uneven, juvenile temperament and lack of culture, and not to the fact that he despises her. {323} So long as he respects her "in his heart" and is ready to defend her at whatever cost, he considers the fine points of conduct toward her after the American fashion to be simply dispensable little details. Nor does his att.i.tude toward woman differ essentially from his att.i.tude toward the male portion of mankind. He has one vocabulary for both s.e.xes, with the inclination to be more respectful toward the gentler s.e.x.
So woman in the East is not considered a slave by the man, and there is a mult.i.tude of wife-ruled husbands. The family system, however, is patriarchal. The man is recognized as the "lord of the household."
The venerable father of a family is supposed to rule, not only over the women of the household, but over his grown sons, his younger brothers, and even the men of his clan who are younger than himself. But such an authority is often purely formal. The higher the level of culture in the home, the more freedom and equality exists among the members of the family. In cultivated Syrian {324} homes the women are free and highly and uniformly respected by the men. Such women have no reason to envy even the happiest American women.
[1] My statements apply particularly to the Christian women of Syria, who enjoy greater domestic and social privileges than the Mohammedan women. However, notwithstanding the serious limitations which orthodox Mohammedanism imposes upon women, it would be sheer injustice to the better cla.s.s of Mohammedans to be stigmatized as enslavers and debasers of woman.
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CHAPTER II
PAUL AND WOMAN
Perhaps nowhere else is the Syrian att.i.tude toward woman so clearly stated as in the teachings of St. Paul. The great Apostle deals with the fundamentals of this subject, and speaks freely of both the privileges and the limitations of woman in the Christian East.
In the third chapter of the Epistle to the Galatians, the twenty-eighth verse, Paul says, "There is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." And this equality is not to be understood to be limited to the bestowal of church rites upon men and women alike. It embraces the essential points of conduct of the male and female members of the household toward one another. Fidelity to the marriage vow is to be equally observed by both husband and wife. This the Apostle urges upon his fellow believers, not as a superior authority, {326} but as a friend. In the seventh chapter of the First Epistle to the Corinthians, the fourth verse, he says, "The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband; and _likewise_ also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife." In the fourteenth verse of this same chapter, the equal potency of the spiritual influence of both the husband and the wife is also recognized. "The unbelieving husband," says the Apostle, "is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband." In the fifth chapter of the Epistle to the Ephesians, the "Apostle to the Gentiles" rises to the n.o.blest height of Eastern thought concerning woman and reveals Christianity"s conserving and sanctifying power. Beginning at the twenty-fifth verse, he says: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it, ... that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. {327} So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church."
This is precisely what the marriage union in the East always meant to us. By this sacred bond the husband and the wife are made "one flesh."
That the Oriental has not definitely succeeded in making his daily conduct always conform to his highest ideals and to the n.o.ble precepts of the Gospel is evident, and not at all strange. Here he has succeeded no better than his Anglo-Saxon superior has in conforming his conduct to the command, "Love your enemies." My point is that down deep in the Syrian heart the spirit of Paul"s words abides. It serves the son of the East in time of trouble as his quick and tender conscience. The real trouble with him has been his aversion to strictly systematic living. He does love his wife as he loves himself, but in reality he does not fully know how to love himself.
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Paul, on the other hand, does not ignore the conventional limitations which Eastern traditions impose upon woman. He recognizes the patriarchal government of the family. In the chapter just quoted, the Apostle says: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church." Much trouble may be avoided by the unfriendly critics of Paul and Christianity in general, if such critics would keep in mind the conditional nature of this command. Whether as a Syrian or as an American I do not believe in subjecting the wife to the husband, nor the husband to the wife. Domestic life should be based on perfect cooperation of husband and wife, in spiritual as well as in administrative matters. Toward this goal the Americans have made the greatest advance. However, Paul"s command can by no means be justly construed as giving the husband unlimited tyrannical authority over the wife. "The husband is the head of the wife, _even as Christ is the head of the {329} Church_." The church is not the slave of Christ, but his beloved bride. So the supremacy here is that of loving care and consideration. Therefore, the fact that the traditions of the East give the man conventional supremacy over the woman has never meant to us sons of that land that our mothers and sisters were abject slaves.
And it should be borne in mind that the women of Syria are not always so submissive as those traditions would lead a Westerner to believe. I might say that in the majority of cases the man finds it no easy task to make his formal authority over the woman of real effect. The heartfelt complaints of discouraged husbands, that "not even all the angels of heaven can subdue a woman," are not unfrequently heard in the land of the Bible.
Perhaps the part of Paul"s teaching which seems to Westerners to seal the fate of woman is that found in the eleventh chapter of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. Here the Apostle declares: "For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory {330} of G.o.d: but the woman is the glory of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."
I think any serious Bible student will easily realize that as a good shepherd Paul must have felt that he should not travel much faster than the weakest of his flock. In the pa.s.sage just quoted he stoops low for the purpose of accommodating the prejudices of _certain_ Orientals.
And in so doing he contradicts his own saying, "There is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus," and the great pa.s.sage in the first chapter of Genesis, the twenty-seventh verse, "So G.o.d created man in his own image, in the image of G.o.d created he him; _male and female_ created he them."
The Eastern man has from time immemorial decreed that woman"s social privileges should be limited, because of his fear for her. In such an unstable social order as that which has existed in the East for ages woman is constantly exposed to danger. Woman-stealing was very prevalent in ancient times, and is still practiced {331} among the Arabian tribes which hover on the eastern borders of Syria. In modern Syria such practices no longer exist, but their faint echoes are still heard in times of tribal fights. On such occasions the cry is heard (and I often heard it myself), "You dogs, to-day we shall take your women booty [_nesbee hereemekm_]."
It is because of these ancient fears, and not from a desire on the part of the man to enslave her, that the social privileges of the woman in the East are so limited. The duty to protect always carries with it the right to discipline. And the greater the danger, the more strict the discipline. The weaker men of the clan, because they need to be protected, are also in subjection to the "men of counsel" (_ahil erry_) and to the stronger fighters.
And it may be easily inferred that in such circ.u.mstances woman"s charms are a danger to her. She must be secluded, as among the Mohammedans, or simply limited in her social intercourse, as among the Christians, in order to hide those charms from the curious stranger. {332} For this reason also she must be heavily veiled when she goes out, as among the Moslems, or at least have her head covered always, as among the Christians. So when Paul said, "Every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoreth her head,"[1] he simply gave wise recognition to an ancient social custom. A more liberal course on his part would have marked Paul as a violent disturber of venerable traditions.
The chief charm of an Oriental woman is her _hishmat_ (modesty). But modesty in a stricter sense than that accepted in the Occident.
Feminine timidity (_jubn_) is very extensively sung by the Arabian poets. A charming woman, especially a maiden, is she who is timid, shy, retiring, of a few words. "She has a mouth to eat, but not to speak," is a high tribute paid to a maiden. For a woman to take a leading part in conversation in the presence of men is boldness. I do not know how they manage to do it, but, _as a rule_, in the presence of men the women of {333} Syria exercise marvelous control over their organs of speech.
Do you understand now why Paul says, in the fourteenth chapter of his First Epistle to the Corinthians, the thirty-fourth verse, "Let your women keep silence in the Churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience"? To Oriental ears, as perhaps to Puritan ears of the good old type, such words are poetry set to music. They do not degrade, but honor woman by not making her common.
It would, perhaps, throw further light on the Easterners" regard of woman as a sacred being when it is known why they call the wife _hrmat_. This term is derived from _heram_--a consecrated and wholly sacred object. _Heram_ is the name of the Mohammedans" most sacred shrine of Mecca. The wife is the husband"s most sacred possession, therefore she is called _hrmat_. The plural of this is _harem_, a term which to Westerners has a most obnoxious connotation. But not so to Orientals. In the West {334} _harem_ simply means sensuality and polygamy in their worst form. In the East it means simply and purely the women of a household, or of a clan, whether it be Christian or Mohammedan. It does not necessarily mean plurality of wives. A man"s mother, wife, sisters, and daughters const.i.tute his _harem_; for they are all sacred to him.
Now it will not be difficult to understand, I believe, why it is that the man in the East takes precedence of the woman in all social affairs, and why the s.e.xes are segregated at public feasts and on other similar occasions. It is for the same reason that we find no women disciples at the Last Supper. In the parable of the prodigal son, the father meets the returning penitent, the father bestows "the best robe"
on the son, the father orders the feast, and doubtless presides over it. So it was also when Abraham entertained the angels, and Zacchaeus entertained Jesus--the man was the entertainer. However, in these two cases the women might have acted as hostesses,--because the {335} guests were holy persons. We have a striking example of the freedom which is permitted to women in such cases in the story of Mary and Martha. They entertained Jesus, first because apparently they had no parents living, and their brother was young, and second because Jesus was no mere guest, but a holy person.[2]
Notwithstanding all these social conventions, however, the mother has a right to demand from her children the same loving obedience which they accord to their father. They must honor their father and their mother alike. Upon coming home from a journey I always saluted my parents by kissing their hands, as a mark of loving submission. According to custom, I saluted my father first, and my mother second, but in the same identical manner, and invoked their _radha_ (good pleasure) toward me, with religious reverence. I always knew that to disrespect and disobey my mother was not only bad manners, but a sin. So obnoxious has disobedience to parents been to the respectable {336} families of the East that the ancient Israelites made it a capital crime. In the twenty-first chapter of the Book of Deuteronomy the stipulation of the law is: "If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of _his mother_, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: then shall his father _and_ his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; and they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice.... And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die."[3] Needless to say that this cruel punishment is no longer inflicted upon rebellious sons in the East.
The record, however, indicates the joint authority of the husband and wife over their own children, and the public approval of it.
But there is more to be said about _radha-elwalideen_ (the parents"
good pleasure). I do {337} not know whether the words "good pleasure"
convey the real significance of the word _radha_, which as it pertains to parents is one of the most sacred terms in Oriental speech. The _radha_ of a parent is a benediction which includes complete forgiveness to the child of all offenses and indicates the parent"s spiritual satisfaction with his offspring. To secure the parent"s expressed _radha_ at the hour of death is equal to a sacrament. I can think of no human experience that can be more impressive, more tender, and more deeply religious than that of an Oriental imploring a dying parent to a.s.sure him of his or her _radha_ before the end came. The weeping son grasps the hand of his dying parent, and, leaning over tenderly to catch the faint utterances, says: "Father,[4] bestow your _radha_ upon me; forgive me and bless me, so that Allah also may forgive and bless me; your _radha_, father!" If the departing parent is still able to speak, he looks up toward heaven and says: "You have my _radha_, my dearly beloved {338} son; and may Allah bestow his holy _radha_ upon you and bless you and the work of your hands. May the earth produce riches for you, and heaven shower benedictions upon you; pray for me, my dearly beloved." But if the departing father or mother is no longer able to utter words, the repeated pressing of the hand and the turning of the eyes upward indicate the parent"s response to the pet.i.tion of the son or daughter. The refusal of a parent to grant his _radha_, which is most rare, is to an Oriental a haunting horror.
In ancient Israel the deathbed blessing was bestowed with special emphasis upon the first-born son because with it came the heritage of the patriarchal office. Thus, when Isaac bestowed his last blessing upon his tricky son Jacob, he said:[5] "G.o.d give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine: Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother"s sons bow down {339} to thee." And what is also most touching in this story is poor Esau"s agony when he discovered that the blessing to which he was the rightful heir had gone to his brother. "And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice and wept."[6]
[1] 1 Cor. xi: 5.
[2] See page 207.
[3] Verses 18-21.
[4] The same also is asked of the mother.
[5] Gen. xxvii: 28, 29.
[6] Gen. xxvii: 38.
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CHAPTER III
JESUS AND HIS MOTHER