"Nothing," he answers fiercely; "I don"t want your pity. Do you think I can"t see that you wouldn"t touch me with the tongs if you could help it? It"s too late to snivel over me now, and I"m well enough as I am.
You leave me alone to go to the devil my own way; it"s all I ask of you.
Good-bye. It"s Christmas, isn"t it? I haven"t dreamed _that_ at all events. Well, I wish you and Lionel as merry a Christmas as I mean to have. I can"t say more than that in the way of enjoyment."
He turns on his heel at the last words and slouches off down the narrow lane by which he had come. Ethel Rolleston stands for a while, looking after his receding form till the fog closes round it and she can see it no more. She feels as if she had seen a ghost; and for her at least the enclosure before the deserted house next door will be haunted evermore--haunted by a forlorn and homeless figure sobbing there by the railings.
As for the man, he goes on his way until he finds a door which--alas!--is not closed against him.
_TOMMY"S HERO_
A STORY FOR SMALL BOYS
It was the night after Tommy had been taken to his first pantomime, and he had been lying asleep in his little bedroom (for now that he was nine he slept in the night nursery no longer); he had been asleep, when he was suddenly awakened by a brilliant red glare. At first he was afraid the house was on fire, but when the red turned to a dazzling green, he gave a great gasp of delight, for he thought the transformation scene was still going on. "And there"s all the best part still to come," he said to himself.
But as he became wider awake, he saw that it was out of the question to expect his bedroom to hold all those wonders, and he was almost surprised to see that there was even so much as a single fairy in it. A fairy there was, nevertheless; she stood there with a star in her hair, and her dress shimmering out all around her, just as he had seen her a few hours before, when she rose up, with little jerks, inside a great gilded sh.e.l.l, and spoke some poetry, which he didn"t quite catch.
She spoke audibly enough now, nor was her voice so squeaky as it had sounded before. "Little boy," she began, "I am the ruling genius of Pantomime Fairyland. You entered my kingdom for the first time last night--how did you enjoy yourself?"
"Oh," said Tommy, "_so_ much; it was splendid, thank you!"
She smiled and seemed well pleased. "I always call to inquire on a new acquaintance," she said. "And so you liked our realms, as every sensible boy does? Well, Tommy, it is in my power to reward you; every night for a certain time you shall see again the things you liked best. What _did_ you like best?"
"The clown part," said Tommy, promptly.
For it ought to be said here that he was a boy who had always had a leaning to the kind of practical fun which he saw carried out by the clown to a pitch of perfection which at once enchanted and humbled him.
Till that harlequinade, he had thought himself a funny boy in his way, and it had surprised him that his family had not found him more amusing than they did; but now he felt all at once that he was only a very humble beginner, and had never understood what real fun was.
For he had not soared much above hiding behind doors, and popping out suddenly on a pa.s.sing servant, causing her to "jump" delightfully; once, indeed, he used to be able to "sell" his family by pretending all manner of calamities, but they had grown so stupid lately that they never believed a single word he said.
No, the clown would not own him as a follower: he would despise his little attempts at practical jokes. "Still," thought Tommy, "I can try to be more like him; perhaps he will come to hear of me some day!"
For he had never met anyone he admired half so much as that clown, who was always in a good temper (to be sure he had everything his own way--but then he deserved to), always quick and ready with his excuses; and if he did run away in times of danger, it was not because he was really afraid! Then how deliciously impudent he was to shopkeepers! Who but he would have dared to cheapen a large fish by making a door mat of it, or to ask the prices of cheeses on purpose to throw mud at them? Not that he couldn"t be serious when he chose--for once he unfurled a Union Jack and said something quite n.o.ble, which made everybody clap their hands for two minutes; and he told people the best shops to go to for a quant.i.ty of things, and he could not have been joking _then_, for they were the same names that were to be seen on all the h.o.a.rdings.
This will explain how it was natural that Tommy, on being asked which part of the pantomime he preferred, should say, without the slightest hesitation, "Oh, the _clown_ part!"
The fairy seemed less pleased. "The clown part!" she repeated. "What, those shop scenes tacked on right at the end without rhyme or reason?"
"Yes," said Tommy, "those ones!"
"And the great wood with the shifting green and violet lights, and the white bands of fairies dancing in circles--didn"t you like them?"
"Oh yes," said the candid Tommy; "pretty well. I didn"t care much for them."
"Well," she said, "but you liked the grand processions, with all their gorgeous dresses and monstrous figures, surely you liked _them_?"
"There was such a lot of it," said Tommy. "The clown was the best."
"And if you could, you"d rather see those last scenes again than all the rest?" she said, frowning a little.
"Oh, wouldn"t I just!" said Tommy; "but may I--really and truly?"
"I see you are not one of _my_ boys," said the Genius of Pantomime, rather sadly. "It so happens that those closing scenes are the very ones I have least control over--they are a part of my kingdom which has fallen into sad decay and rebellion. But one thing, O Tommy, I _can_ do for you. I will give you the clown for a friend and companion--and much good may he do you!"
"But would he _come_?" he asked, hardly daring to believe in such condescension.
"He must, if _I_ bid him; it is for you to make him feel comfortable and at home with you;--the longer you can keep him the better I shall be pleased."
"Oh, _how_ kind of you!" he cried; "he shall stay all the holidays. I"d rather have him than anybody else. What fun we shall have--what fun!"
The green fire faded out and the fairy with it. He must have fallen asleep again, for, when he opened his eyes, there was the clown at the foot of his bed making a face.
"Ullo!" said the clown; "I say, are you the nice little boy I was told to come and stay with?"
"Yes, yes," said Tommy; "I am so glad to see you. I"m just going to get up."
"I know you are," said the clown, and upset him out of bed into the cold bath.
This he could not help thinking a little bit unkind of the clown on such a cold morning, particularly as he followed it up by throwing a hair-brush, two pieces of soap, and a pair of shoes at him before he could get out again.
But it woke him, at all events, and he ventured (with great respect) to throw one of the shoes back; it just grazed the clown"s top-knot.
To Tommy"s alarm, the clown set up a hullaballoo as if he was mortally injured.
"You cruel, unkind little boy," he sobbed, "to play so rough with a poor clown!"
"But you threw them at me first," pleaded Tommy, "and much harder, too!"
"I"m the oldest," said the clown, "and you"ve got to make me feel at home, or I shall go away again."
"I won"t do it again, and I"m very sorry," pleaded Tommy; but the clown wouldn"t be friends with him for ever so long, and was only appeased at last by being allowed to put Tommy upside down in a tall wicker basket which stood in a corner.
Then he helped Tommy to dress by b.u.t.toning all his clothes the wrong way, and hiding his stockings and necktie. While he was doing this, Sarah, the under-nurse, came in, and he strutted up to her and began to dance quietly. "Go away, imperence," said Sarah.
"Beautiful gal," said the clown (though Sarah was extremely plain), "I love yer!" and he put out his tongue and wagged his head at her until she ran out of the room in terror.
He looked so absurd that Tommy was delighted with him again, and yet, when the bell rang for breakfast, he felt obliged to give his new friend a hint.
"I say," he said, "you don"t mind my telling you--but mother"s very particular about manners at table;" but the clown relieved him instantly by saying that so was he--_very_ particular; and he slid down the banisters and turned somersaults in the hall until Tommy joined him.
"I do hope father and mother won"t be unkind to him," he thought, as he went in, "because he does seem to feel things so."
But nothing could be more polite than the welcome Tommy"s parents gave the stranger, as he came in, bowing very low, and making a queer little skipping step. Tommy"s mother said she was always glad to see any friend of her boy"s, while his father begged the clown to make himself quite at home. All _he_ said was, "I"m disgusted to make your acquaintance;" but he certainly made himself at home--in fact, he was not quite so particular about his manners as he had led Tommy to expect.
He volunteered to divide the sausages and bacon himself, and did so in such a way that everybody else got very little and he himself got a great deal. If it had been anybody else, Tommy would certainly have called this "piggish"; as it was, he tried to think it was all fun, and that he himself had no particular appet.i.te.
His cousin Barbara, a little girl of about his own age, was staying with them just then, and came down presently to breakfast. "Oh, my!" said the clown, laying a great red hand on his heart, "what a nice little gal you are, ain"t yer? Come and sit by me, my dear!"