A GOAT and a Hog were great friends, and for a long time they lived together. But they were poor, and one day the Goat said to the Hog--
"Good-bye, friend Hog! I am going to seek my fortune."
"Ugh! ugh! ugh!" said the Hog. It was kindly meant, for that was all the ignorant Hog could say. He intended to bid good-bye to his friend, and to wish him good luck.
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The Goat trotted along till he came to the nearest town. He found a grain-shop with n.o.body in it; so in went our Goat, and ate his fill of the Grain, and whatever he could find. Then he went into the inner room, and sat down.
By-and-by the shopman came in; his little girl was with him, and the little girl began to cry for sugar.
"Go and get some out of the cupboard," said the shopman.
The little girl ran into the inner room to get the sugar, but the Goat was there. And when the Goat saw the little girl, he cried out, in a solemn and loud voice--
"Little girl, go run, go run, Or your life is nearly done!
And my crumpled horns I"ll stick Through your little body quick!"
The little girl ran out shrieking. "What is it, my dear?" said her father.
"A demon, father!" she said; "save me from his crumpled horn."
What a terrible thing to happen in a quiet household! The poor man did not know what to do. So he sent for all his relations, and they advised him to try what the parson could do.
So the Parson was sent for, and the Clerk, and the s.e.xton, with bell, book, and candle. They lit the candle, and opened the book (I think it was a Latin Grammar, which they judged would be enough to scare any demon), and rang the bell; and then the Parson, with his heart in his boots, advanced into the room.
Instantly a horrid groan burst upon his ears (or so he thought), and a deep voice said--
"Parson, fly! or I will poke This my crumpled horn into you!
You"ll admit it is no joke When you feel its point go through you!
s.e.xton, dig his grave, and then Let the Clerk reply, Amen!"
The Parson dropt his Latin Grammar, and ran away, nor did he stop until he was safe in his own church.
At this the Shopman went down on his knees, and put his hands together, and said--
"O most respectable Demon! whoever you are, I pray you do me no harm; and I will worship you, and offer you anything you may desire."
Then the Goat came majestically out, walking upon his hind legs, with his grey beard flowing from his chin, and he said--
"Put wreaths and jewels about my neck, and on each of my horns, and round my paws and my tail, and give me sweetmeats to eat, and I will do you no harm."
The Shopman made haste to do all this; he wreathed the Goat with flowers, and put all his wife"s jewels upon the horns and paws, and all the jewels he could borrow from his neighbours.
The Goat went home, and showed all this magnificence to his friend the Hog. The Hog winked his greedy little eyes, and somehow made his friend understand that he would like some too. Then the Goat told him how he got the things, and showed him the way to the place.
So the Hog went to the same shop, and found it empty. The Shopman and his little girl had gone out to tell all the town what adventures they had pa.s.sed through. The Hog grubbed up all he could find to eat, and then went and sat in the inner room.
Soon the Shopman and his little girl came back. The little girl ran inside to take off her little hat, and what does she see but a big black Hog sitting there! The Hog remembered his lesson, and wanted to say some terrible thing as the Goat had done; but all he could get out was--
"Ugh! ugh! ugh!"
This did not frighten the little girl at all. She ran out to her father, saying--
"O papa! there is a big black Hog inside!"
The Shopman got out his knife, and whetted it on the grindstone, and then he went into the room.
"Ugh! ugh! ugh!" said the Hog.
The Shopman said nothing, but stuck his knife into the Hog. Then there was a squealing and squalling, if you like! But in two minutes the Hog was dead, and in two hours he was skinned and cut up, and by nightfall, the Shopman and his little girl, and all their friends, were sitting round a delicious leg of roast pork, and the s.e.xton rang the bell for dinner, and the Parson said grace, and the Clerk said Amen.
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The Parrot and the Parson
THERE was once a Banker who taught his Parrot the speech of men. The Parrot made such progress that he was soon able to take part in any conversation, and he astonished every one by his intelligence.
One day a Parson came by the Parrot.
"My respects to your Reverence," said the Parrot.
The Parson looked all round him, he looked down at his feet, he looked up into the sky; but no one could he see who might have spoken to him.
He could not make it out; he thought it must have been a ghost. Then the Parrot spoke again. "It was I who saluted you," said he. The Parrot was close to the Parson"s ear, and now at length the Parson saw him. The Parrot went on--
"O reverend Sir, you teach men how to get free from the chains of their sins. May it please you to tell me how to escape from this cage?"
This was a practical question, but the Parson"s advice was not usually asked on such points. He did not know what to say.
"I fear I can be of no use to you," said he, "but I will consult my Solicitor."
The Parson went to see his Solicitor, and paid him six and eightpence.
He might have bought the Parrot, cage and all, for half that; but, as I said, he was not a practical man. When he told the Solicitor what business he came about, the Solicitor said nothing at all, but fell down in a faint.
"What can I have said to make him faint?" the Parson thought. "Perhaps it is the hot weather." He poured water over the Solicitor"s face, and by-and-by the Solicitor came to.
The Parson was much distressed at having thrown away six and eightpence; but he knew it would be of no use asking the Solicitor to give any of it back, so he did not try. He went back to the Parrot and said--
"Dearly beloved bird, I much regret having no information to give you which may be of use. The fact is, no sooner did I put your question to my worthy Solicitor, than he fell down in a dead faint."
"Oh," said the Parrot, "many thanks, Parson."
The Parson went away to the parish meeting. When he had gone, the Parrot stretched himself out on the bottom of his cage, and shut his eyes, and c.o.c.ked up his feet in the air.