The Taming of the Yandere

Cold tea after a salty dinner is very effective.

Repet.i.tive trips to the living room to refill my tea cup were tedious, so I brought the whole jug to my bedroom.

I drank cup after cup, refilling the jug again and again. I felt like I was slowly becoming a water buffalo.

My pitiful state was all thanks to Mom and Jiang Muqing. It’s really despicable that I have to heed to elders’ and girls’ wishes.

“Lu Fan, can you stop for a second?”

“Can you stop looking at homework? Can you look at me for a while?”

“Lu Fan, I want you at my side!”

….

The girl’s pouting voice sounded again and again, distracting my focus.

“I haven’t finished the homework from cram school, I can’t stop if I don’t get it done.”

I replied to Jiang Muqing in exasperation.

“Have you finished your own homework? You’re mucking around so carelessly.”

I asked suspiciously.

“Of course; to play with Lu Fan at home, I finished all my homework in cla.s.s.”

The girl flaunted in pride.

“Are you not paying attention in cla.s.s?”

I questioned with worry.

“I already know all the stuff the teacher writes on the board.”

“It’s supposed to be brand new material, how can you know it all beforehand?”

I didn’t believe her.

“I learn the concepts as I do the work, and I ask the teacher after cla.s.s if I get stuck.”

Jiang Muqing wasn’t fazed at all.

Her learning ability is so powerful. She can find her own mistakes, and ask the teacher herself.

Discovering and solving one’s own problems should be a student’s basic skill. But if I complete all my tasks by myself, I always think I did something wrong.

It seems that I’m the type to rely on teachers.

Completely following the teacher’s agenda, and stepping perfectly in the teacher’s footsteps. It was effortless and foolproof. I’ve never tried to stray from that path before.

Jiang Muqing and Guotong were the “independent” learning type. I’ve always thought that kind of studying was too arrogant, even insane.

Maybe that’s what’s special about “nerds”. *

*This is the closest English term I can find for “学霸”. It’s not exactly nerd, as “nerd” suggests a more derogative meaning. 学霸 describes a person so good at academics that they’re considered “霸”, or “lord”, “tyrant”. Google Translate says “straight-A-student”, but while that’s true it doesn’t have any oomph. Nerds have the potential of carrying oomph though.

Since she claims that her self-learning ability is so high, I’ll give her something that not only requires a lot of brainpower, but also rubs against the fragile mind.

“Have you read light novels before?”

I stopped the pen in my hand.

“Novels?”

Jiang Muqing tilted her head.

“Not novels, light novels.”

“Is it one of those anime stories? Does Fan like these things?”

She looked at me strangely.

Do I really not look like the type to enjoy anime and light novels?

“I thought Fan only liked to study.”

Jiang Muqing looked surprised.

“Studying isn’t a hobby, so there’s n.o.body in the world who can say that they like studying.”

I explained awkwardly.

“Oh….”

The girl seemed to hazily understand my words.

“I guess I can say that light novels are my hobby. Since you have nothing to do, I’ll recommend a light novel website. You can look at other people’s works, and try writing your own if you want.”

I wrote the site name and address on a scratch piece of paper, and handed it over.

“Whatever Fan likes, I’ll try to love.”

The girl held the paper slip like a treasure, and walked back to Dad’s office.

Will you please think for yourself a bit more?!

There’s a computer in Dad’s office. At last, I’ve found something other than me that she can sink her teeth into.

Finally, I can study in peace.

….

One hour later.

I finished all my work for the day, and stretched lazily on my chair.

There hasn’t been a single sound coming from Jiang Muqing’s room for a while. Is she now truly mesmerized by the anime literature world? Looks like she really has some otaku aspects in her.

I stood up and went to Dad’s office to see what happened. But Dad’s computer was on, and Jiang Muqing laid on the bed in a blanket burrito.

“Anything wrong?”

I noticed that she wasn’t in a good mood.

“Is this the type of thing Fan Likes? It’s horrible, I can’t accept this kind of Fan!”

The girl shuddered in her blankets.

“What happened?” I asked.

She was completely fine before, why is she like this?

“Fan, do you crave a harem? You already have me; I can’t allow Fan to be so debauched!”

The girl thumped her fist on the bed, her face was contorted in fury.

“This is only a light novel, it’s impossible to happen in real life.”

d.a.m.n it, I forgot that most of the main page’s recommendations are harem R-18. This was totally unacceptable for young girls to read.

“Then, Fan l.u.s.ts to become a girl, and go find other boys. I never thought that Fan would have this kind of fetish. If that day really comes, I’ll become a boy to be with Fan.”

The girl stated with grit.

“That’s even more impossible, my family doesn’t have the money for transs.e.xual surgery! And I’m very straight, okay? I only like actual, real girls!”

Oh lord. There must have been trap novels after the harem novels.

Comparing my d.i.c.k to unlimited harem, I would absolutely pick my d.i.c.k.

It’s simple. If I lost my d.i.c.k and became a trap, what’s the point of having a crowd of harem? Besides them being nice to look at, there was only unending emptiness.

The only options would be to grit my teeth and find some lesbians, or open a reverse harem and get tons of guys. There’s also the possibility of finding my past body, and fall in love with the trap inside it….

Although these were all literary forms of art that should be viewed with a thoughtful eye and a neutral mind, a web novel “virgin” like Jiang Muqing could never think the same way.

She must think of me as a freak, and want to chase after the freakish me.

I wondered if I truly shattered Jiang Muqing’s pure, innocent world.

“Then, does Fan like boys? Do you really have no interest towards girls?”

Jiang Muqing angrily unraveled her blankets, and opened a web page on the computer.

At first glance, I almost spewed my tea.

….

It was my mecha action novel, although it was stuck with the frightening tag “Yaoi-Action”. *

*I made a mistake while translating in V2C1 Part 1. I accidentally left out the part where Lu Fan says that his novel was mecha. Just keep in mind that the novel he’s talking about right here is the same one as V2C1, and not the harem one that he mentioned in Volume 1.

Another Chinese lesson: 机战文 (ji zhan wen) or mecha novels, has the exact same phonetic sound as 基战文 (ji zhan wen) or yaoi/h.o.m.os.e.xual novels. But the “gay” part of it is only in 机, the next two (机战) are literally “action novel”. So the tag is “Yaoi-Action Novel”.

Does she know that novel is mine?

No way, I should be the only one who knows my computer pa.s.sword and account ID?

It should be a complete coincidence.

“I feel that the author and Fan are similar people.”

Jiang Muqing observed my face with suspicion in her eyes.

“Similar people?”

Is it really that noticeable through a random novel I write for a hobby?

This situation can’t just be explained with the simple “woman’s instinct”.

“The male protagonist is very kind to everyone, and they all like him, too. But he’s never opened his heart with any of them, and never revealed his true intentions.”

Jiang Muqing declared confidently.

“My novel… No, how could I be this type of person?”

I couldn’t accept her criticism at all. No matter the novel, or myself.

“The male protagonist always presses the most dangerous situations on himself, and slowly suffers with all the pain. He shoulders all the troubles he can, and never lets out a word of complaint.”

Does he? I just wanted to show the male protagonist’s pure heart, and a.s.sign him some special black operations that couldn’t see the light of day.

Black operations were essential, scheming tasks that were necessary to the cause. But they were often morally and ethically wrong.

“Fan is the same. You always seem like you have so much weight in your heart, but you never tell me or Auntie.”

Jiang Muqing’s glimmering pupils stared in mine, piercing my mind.

….

The girl was right.

I’ve been doing black ops all along. Although lying to a girl wasn’t as sinister as a mecha protagonist’s, it wasn’t some mighty and honorable matter either.

To cure Jiang Muqing, so what if she hates me in the end? I won’t have any sudden, emotional outbursts. She was an absolute stranger to me from the very beginning.

Teenage romance was too far away from me. I can only study as hard as I can for now.

And achieve my final goal.