Translator: Jane
ch10
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Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10:
He Zhishu days now filled with cold and darkness. When he closes his eyes, he tries to visualize a bright place filled with jasmine. He was seventeen when first made love with Jiang Wenxu as a birthday present. The sweet love of the then was now fake. Now there is only pain and endless struggle. The scent of jasmine has long since left He Zhishu"s body, replaced by the smell of smoke. More painful that not having it, is to have the best of it and then lose it all.
After some time, the door opened. Jiang Wenxu stared down at him with cold eyes and said. “If you don"t come in I"ll leave you here outside.”
He Zhishu stood and went inside. He was very upset but didn"t have the strength to refuse. Jiang Wenxu threw him out so he could cool off his temper, and also so He Zhishu could think about what he said. Jiang Wenxu could not believe him saying that he wanted to break up with him. Then, he noticed the blood on He Zhishu"s shirt.
“What were you doing outside?” he asked, his face puzzled.
Jiang Wenxu took off He Zhishu"s clothes and washed his face with warm water. Jiang Wenxu saw that he was very thin.
“I have a nosebleed.” He Zhishu answered, wiping his face with a towel.
“Why didn"t you just knock? Did you think I wouldn"t let you in?” said Jiang Wenxu.
He drew the bloodstained clothes aside, closed the bathroom door and joined He Zhishu. Under the shower Jiang Wenxu hugged He Zhishu and kissed him. His touched crawled from He Zhishu"s waist to his chest and he couldn"t help but frown.
“Are you doing drugs? How did you become so thin?” he asked.
He Zhishu shook his head and said nothing, even what happened just recently he didn"t want to talk about. Jiang Wenxu adjusted the shower and pressed He Zhishu on the wall and kissed him as he rubbed his waist. The cold tiles made He Zhishu shiver and he didn"t have the strength to make love to Jiang Wenxu. Despite Jiang Wenxu"s erotic movements, a feeling of nausea lingered in He Zhishu. He remembered how Jiang Wenxu ignored his s.e.xual needs these past years.
“Let go. I don"t want to do it. I am very tired.” these words were clear to him.
He Zhishu closed his eyes and turned away, extremely exhausted. Jiang Wenxu squeezed his chin and said, “You don"t want me to touch you?”
There was suspicion in Jiang Wenxu"s tone. He Zhishu is in pain but thought not to waste his strength to struggle.
“You can think whatever you want.” he said.
For Jiang Wenxu, who has been an authority for a long time, this is no different from provocation. He turned off the shower and slammed He Zhishu"s wrist.
“I"m going to see you later, to check if you ate.” he said, then dragged He Zhishu out of the shower all the way to the bed.
The bedsheets were soaked wet. Jiang Wenxu"s body was hot so the temperature of the air conditioner was not too high. But He Zhishu was cold and dizzy. He wrapped himself in cold sheets and curled into fetal position.
Jiang Wenxu grew taller since his teenage years. He was now a meter and eighty-five centimeters tall and was very intimidating. Before, Jiang Wenxu"s height gave He Zhishu a feeling of security, now there is only fear. He Zhishu struggled with this so badly that he did not want to be touched by beloved people under such circ.u.mstances. It made him feel humiliated and scared. Jiang Wenxu"s own subconscious anxieties had been bothering him for some time. If he cannot secure that He Zhishu will not leave him no matter what, he will go mad.
Jiang Wenxu tied He Zhishu to the bed. Though uncomfortable, He Zhishu did not struggle. He knew that Jiang Wenxu is hundred times stronger than him and to struggle is futile. He tried to shut down his mind but Jiang Wenxu"s movements kept him conscious of the reality. He felt like he was being raped. Jiang Wenxu wanted to mark his territory. He secretly left a hickey on He Zhishu"s neck. Jiang Wenxu"s gnawed at He Zhishu"s fingers and bit his neck. Then, he flipped him over and penetrated from behind, resting his pelvis on his. Aroused by the fetish, Jiang Wenxu prodded hard, smiling with malice.
“You are learning…” he whispered to He Zhishu. “Better get used to this. I know you like it too. This makes it more interesting, compared before when you"re like a dead fish in bed.”
That night, He Zhishu just wanted to die. Death was better than having to suffer through this. His body and heart were in pain and he could no longer stand it. Jiang Wenxu"s violent movements injured He Zhishu. Because of the coagulopathy caused by his disease, his blood did not clot and he bled profusely.
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