"Oh! I"m so glad," said she; "I thought I had seen it this morning, and could not think what had become of it. I never missed it till this evening."
He touched the fingers she extended to receive it. He took them in his hand, and held them with a gentle force.
"For one moment allow me to hold your hand; don"t take it from me yet. I _implore_, only while I say a few words, which you may make, almost by a look, a farewell--my eternal farewell. Margaret, I love you as no other man ever will love you. You think all this but the madness that young men talk. I know nothing of them. What I say is desperately true; no madness, but sad and irreparable reality. I never knew love but for you--and for you it is such idolatry as I think the world never imagined. You are never for one moment from my thoughts. Every good hope or thought I have, I owe to you. You are the good principle of my life, and if I lose you, I am lost myself."
This strange girl was not a conventional young lady. I don"t p.r.o.nounce whether she was better or worse for that. She did not drop her eyes, nor yet withdraw her hand. She left that priceless pledge in his, it seemed, unconsciously, and with eyes of melancholy and earnest inquiry, looked on the handsome young man that was pleading with her.
"It is strange," she said, in a dreamy tone, as if talking with herself.
"I said it was strange, for he does not, and cannot, know me."
"Yes," he answered, "I do know you--intuitively I know you. We have all faith in the beautiful. We cannot separate the beautiful and the good; they come both direct from G.o.d, they resemble him; and I know your power--you can make of me what you will. Oh, Margaret, will you shut me out for ever from the only chance of good I shall ever know? Can you ever, ever like me?"
There was a little silence, and she said, very low, "If I _were_ to like you, would you love me better than anything else in all the world?"
"Than all the world--than all the world," he reiterated, and she felt the hand of this young man of fashion, of ambition, who had years ago learned to sneer at all romance, quiver as it held her own.
"But first, if I were to allow any one to like me, I would say to him, you must know what you undertake. You must love me with your entire heart; heart and soul, you must give yourself altogether up to me. I must be everything to you--your present, your future, your happiness, your hope; for I will not bear to share your heart with anything on _earth_! And these are hard terms, but the only ones."
"I need make _no_ vow, darling--_darling_. My life is what you describe, and I cannot help it; I adore you. Oh! Margaret, _can_ you like me?"
Then Margaret Fanshawe answered, and in a tone the most sad, I think, that ever spoke; and to _him_, the sweetest and most solemn; like distant music in the night, funereal and plaintive, her words fell upon his entranced ear.
"If I were to say I could like you enough to _wait_, and _try_ if I could like you more, it always seemed to me so awful a thing--try if I could like you more--would not the terms seem to you too hard?"
"Oh! Margaret, darling, say you _can_ like me _now_. You know how I adore you," he implored.
"Here, then, is the truth. I do not like you well enough to say all that; no, I do _not_, but I like you too well to say _go_. I don"t know how it _may_ be, but if you choose to wait, and give me a very little time to resolve, I shall see clearly, and all uncertainty come to an end, _some_how, and G.o.d guide us all to good! That is the whole truth, Mr. Verney; and pray say no more at present. You shall not wait long for my answer."
"I agree, darling. I accept your terms. You don"t know what delay is to me; but anything rather than despair."
She drew her hand to herself. He released it. It was past all foolish by-play with him, and the weight of a strange fear lay upon his heart.
This little scene took longer in speaking and acting, than it does in reading in this poor note of mine. When they looked up, the moon was silvering the tops of the trees, and the distant peaks of the Welsh mountains, and glimmering and flashing to and fro, like strings of diamonds, on the water.
And now Miss Anne Sheckleton entered, having talked old Neptune into good humour.
"Is there a chance of your visiting Penruthyn again?" asked Cleve, as if nothing unusual had pa.s.sed. "You have not seen the old park. _Pray_, come to-morrow."
Miss Sheckleton looked at the young lady, but she made no sign.
"_Shall_ we? _I_ see nothing against it," said she.
"Oh! _do_. I entreat," he persisted.
"Well, if it should be fine, and if nothing prevents, I think I may say, we _will_, about three o"clock to-morrow."
Margaret did not speak; but was there not something sad and even gentle in her parting? The old enigma was still troubling his brain and heart, as he walked down the dark avenue once more. How would it all end? How would she at last p.r.o.nounce?
The walk, next day, was taken in the Warren, as he had proposed. I believe it was a charming excursion; as happy, too, as under the bitter conditions of suspense it could be; but nothing worthy of record was spoken, and matters, I dare say, remained, ostensibly at least, precisely as they were.
CHAPTER XX.
HIS FATE.
CLEVE VERNEY, as we know, was a young gentleman in whose character were oddly mingled impetuosity and caution. A certain diplomatic reserve and slyness had often stood him in stead in the small strategy of life, and here, how skillfully had he not managed his visits to Penruthyn, and hid from the peering eyes of Cardyllian his walks and loiterings about the enchanted woods of Malory.
Visiting good Mrs. Jones"s shop next day to ask her how she did, and gossip a little across the counter, that lady, peering over her spectacles, received him with a particularly sly smile, which, being p.r.o.ne to alarms just then, he noted and did not like.
Confidential and voluble as usual, was this lady, bringing her black lace cap and purple ribbons close to the brim of Mr. Verney"s hat, as she leaned over the counter, and murmured her emphatic intelligence and surmises deliberately in his ear. She came at last to say--
"You must be very _sol_itary, we all think, over there, at Ware, sir; and though you have your yacht to sail across in, and your dog-cart to trot along, and doesn"t much mind, still it is not con_venient_, you know, for one that likes _this_ side so much better than the other. We think, and _wonders_, we all do, you wouldn"t stay awhile at the Verney Arms, over the way, and remain among us, you know, and be near everything you might like; the other side, you know, is very dull; we can"t deny _that_, though its quite true that Ware is a very fine place--a really _beau_tiful place--but it _is_ lonely, we must allow; _mustn"t_ we?"
"Awfully lonely," acquiesced Cleve, "but I don"t quite see why I should live at the Verney Arms, notwithstanding."
"Well, they do say--you mustn"t be angry with them, you know--but they do, that you like a walk to Malory," and this was accompanied with a wonderfully cunning look, and a curious play of the crow"s-feet and wrinkles of her fat face, and a sly, gentle laugh. "But _I_ don"t mind."
"Don"t mind _what_?" asked Cleve, a little sharply.
"_Well_, I don"t mind what they _say_, but they _do_ say you have made acquaintance with the Malory family--no harm in that, you know."
"No harm in the world, only a lie," said Cleve, with a laugh that was not quite enjoying. "I wish they would manage that introduction for me; I should like it extremely. I think the young lady rather pretty--don"t you?--and I should not object to pay my respects, if you think it would not be odd. My Cardyllian friends know so much better than I what is the right thing to do. The fact is, I don"t know one of our own tenants there, except for taking off my hat twice to the only sane one of the party, that old Miss Anne--Anne--_something_--you told me--"
"_Sheckleton_ that will _be_," supplemented Mrs. Jones.
"Sheckleton. Very well; and my real difficulty is this--and upon my honour, I don"t know how to manage it. My grandmother, Lady Verney, puts me under orders--and you know she does not like to be disobeyed--to go and see poor old Rebecca, Mrs. Mervyn, you know, at the steward"s house, at Malory; and I am looking for a moment when these people are out of the way, just to run in for five minutes, and ask her how she does. And my friend, Wynne Williams, won"t let me tell Lady Verney how odd these people are, he"s so afraid of her hearing the rumour of their being mad.
But the fact is, whenever I go up there and peep in through the trees, I see some of them about the front of the house, and I can"t go up to the door, of course, without annoying them, for they wish to be quite shut up; and the end of it is, I say, that, among them, I shall get blown up by Lady Verney, and shan"t know what to answer--by Jove! But you may tell my friends in Cardyllian, I am so much obliged to them for giving me credit for more cleverness than _they_ have had in effecting an introduction; and talking of me about that pretty girl, Miss--oh!--what"s her name?--at Malory. I only hope she"s not mad; for if she is I must be also."
Mrs. Jones listened, and looked at him more gravely, for his story hung pretty well together, and something of its cunning died out of the expression of her broad face. But Cleve walked away a little disconcerted, and by no means in a pleasant temper with his good neighbours of Cardyllian; and made that day a long visit at Hazelden, taking care to make his approaches as ostentatiously as he could. And he was seen for an hour in the evening, walking on the green with the young ladies of that house, Miss Charity flanking the little line of march on one side, and he the other, pretty Miss Agnes, of the golden locks, the pretty dimples, and brilliant tints, walking between, and listening, I"m afraid, more to the unphilosophic prattle of young Mr. Verney than to the sage conversation, and even admonitions and reminders, of her kind, but unexceptionable sister.
From the news-room windows, from the great bow-window of the billiard-room, this promenade was visible. It was a judicious demonstration, and gave a new twist to conjecture; and listless gentlemen, who chronicled and discussed such matters, observed upon it, each according to his modic.u.m of eloquence and wisdom.
Old Vane Etherage, whose temperament, though squally, was placable, was won by the frank courtesy, and adroit flatteries of the artless young fellow who had canva.s.sed boroughs and counties, and was master of a psychology of which honest old Etherage knew nothing.
That night, notwithstanding, Cleve was at the gate of Malory, and the two ladies were there.
"We have been looking at the boat ten minutes, just, since it left. Sir Booth is out as usual, and now see how far away; you can scarcely see the sail, and yet so little breeze."
"The breeze is rather from the sh.o.r.e, and you are sheltered here, all this old wood, you know. But you can hear it a little in the tops of the trees," Cleve answered, caring very little what way the breeze might blow, and yet glad to know that Sir Booth was on his cruise, and quite out of the way for more than an hour to come.
"We intended venturing out as far as the pier, there to enjoy once more that beautiful moonlight view, but Sir Booth went out to-night by the little door down there, and this has been left with its padlock on. So we must only treat this little recess as the convent parlour, with the grating here, at which we parley with our friends. _Do_ you hear that foolish old dog again? I really believe he has got out of the yard,"
suddenly exclaimed good-natured Miss Anne, who made the irregularities of old Neptune an excuse for trifling absences, very precious to Cleve Verney.
So now, she walked some ten or twenty steps toward the house, and stood there looking up the avenue, and prattling incessantly, though Cleve could not hear a word she said, except now and then the name of "Neptune," when she ineffectually accosted that remote offender.