"_Containing a rare herb of Jerusalem called Lady"s Rose, resembling spikenard, with vervain, and cedar, and secret simples----_"
"_Vervain, which is powerful against evil spirits----_"
The strange fragrance, heady as the bouquet of rich wine, never cloying, exquisite, might well have seemed magical to the dry Puritans, I mused.
It should stay by me tonight, like a promise of her coming.
After I had sat there a while, I turned out the lights.
CHAPTER XVIII
"An excellent way to get a fayrie--and when you have her, bind her!"--ANCIENT ALCHEMIST"S RECIPE.
In the darkness Time crept along like a crippled thing, slow-moving, hideous. Outside fell the monotonous drip, drip from trees and bushes, likened by Phillida to a horrid clock. The fog was a sounding-board for furtive noises that grew up like fungi in the moist atmosphere. The thought of Phillida and Vere down in the pleasant living room tempted me almost beyond resistance. I wanted to spring up, to rush out of the room; to fling myself into my car and drive full speed until strength failed and gasoline gave out.
Was that the lake which stirred in the windless night? The lake, under which lay the fire-blackened ruins of the house where the first Desire Mich.e.l.l flung open an awful door that her vengeance might stride through!
Was it too late for my Desire to come, and time for the coming of that Other?
The step of Vere sounded on the gravel path where he walked beneath the window. He was making a trip of inspection, and would find no light shining from the room. I was about to rise and call down a word of rea.s.surance to him, when a current of spiced air pa.s.sed by me. I sat arrested in hope and expectancy.
"Here, after my warning, after last night?" her soft voice panted across the dark. "Will you die, then? Cruel to me, and wicked to come here again! Oh, must I wish you were a coward!"
Every vestige of her calmness gone, she was sobbing as she spoke. I could imagine she was wringing the little hands that once had left a betraying print upon my table"s surface.
"I was cruel to you last night, Desire; yet afterward you saved my life by sending Ethan Vere to wake me. Would you have had me leave without meeting you again, neither thanking you nor asking your forgiveness?"
I thought she came nearer.
"For so little, you would brave the Dread One in Its time of triumph? O steadfast soldier, who faces the Breach even in the hour of death, in all that you have done you have remembered me. Why speak of anger or forgiveness? Have I not injured you?"
"Never. I love you."
"Is not that an injury? Even though I hid my ill-omened face from you, reared as I was to sad knowledge of the wrath upon me, the wrong has been done. Weak as water in the test, I kept the letter of my promise and broke the intent. Yet go; keep life at least."
"Desire, I do not understand you," I answered. "No matter for that, now!
I am content to share whatever you bring. Not roughly or in challenge as I asked you last night, but earnestly and with humility I ask you to come away with me now. If trouble comes to my wife and me, I do not doubt we can bear it. Let us not be frightened from the attempt. Come."
"I, to take happiness like that?" she marveled in desolate amazement.
"No. At least I will go to my own place, if tardily. Roger, be kind to me. Give me a last gift. Let me know that somewhere you are living. Out of my sight, out of my knowledge, but living in the same world with me.
Each moment you stay here is a risk."
In that warning she had reason. I rose. It was time to act, but action must be certain. If my groping movements missed her in the dark there might be no second chance.
"Desire, if all is as you say and we are not to meet again as we have done, you shall let me touch you before I go," I said firmly.
"No!"
"Yes. Why, would you have me live all the years to come in doubt whether you were a woman or a dream? Perhaps you might seem at last a phantom of my own sick brain to which faithfulness would be folly? Here across the table I stretch my arm. Lay your palm in my palm. I may die tonight."
Whether she wished it also, or whether my resolve drew obedience, I do not know. But a vague figure moved through the dark toward me. A hand settled in mine with the brushing touch of an alighting bird. I closed my hand hotly upon that one. I sprang a step aside from the table between us, found her, and drew her to me.
What did I hold in my arms? Softness, fragrance, draperies beneath which beat life and warmth. As I stooped to rea.s.sure her, her breath curled against my cheek. So with that guide I turned my head, and set my lips on the lips I had never seen.
Did Something uprear Itself out there in the black fog? A cold air rushed across the summer heat of the fog; air foul as if issued from the opened door of a vault. As once before, a tremor quivered through the house. The hanging chains of the lamps swung with a faint tinkling sound.
I s.n.a.t.c.hed Desire Mich.e.l.l off her feet and sprang for the door. Somehow I found and opened it at the first essay. We were out into the hall.
With one hand I dragged the door shut behind us, then carried her on to the head of the stairs. There I set her down, but stood before her as a bar against any attempt at escape.
A lamp shed a subdued light above us. I looked at my captive. Never again after that kiss could she deny her womanhood or pose as a phantom.
So far my victory was complete. The lady might be angry, but it must be woman"s anger. I knew she had not suspected my intention until I lifted her in my arms. She had struggled then, after her defenses had fallen.
She was quiet now, as though the light had quelled her resistance. She stood drooped and trembling; not the old-time witch, not the dazzling adventuress, only a small fragile girl wound and wrapped in some gray stuff that even covered the brightness of her hair. Her face was held down and showed no more color than a water-lily.
"I thought," she whispered, just audibly. "I thought you--would say, good-bye!"
"I know," I stammered. "But I could not. That way was impossible for us."
She did not contradict me. She was so very small, I saw, that her head would reach no higher than where the bright spot had rested above my heart when I had last stood at the Barrier. One hand gripped the veils beneath her chin, and seemed the clenched fist of a child.
The crash of my door had startled the household. I had heard Phillida cry out, and Vere"s running steps upon the gravel path. Now he came springing up the stairs. At the head of the flight he stopped, staring at us.
"Desire," I spoke as naturally as I could manage, "this is Mr. Vere.
Vere, my fiancee, Miss Mich.e.l.l. Shall we go down to Phillida?"
And Desire Mich.e.l.l did not deny my claim.
I am not very sure of how we found ourselves downstairs. Nor do I remember in what words we made the two girls known to one another.
Presently we were all in the living room, and Phillida had possession of Desire Mich.e.l.l while Vere and I looked on stupidly at the proceedings.
Phil had placed her in a chair beside a tall floor-lamp and gently drew off the draperies that hooded her. With little murmurs of compa.s.sion, she unbound and shook free her guest"s hair.
"My dear, you are all damp! This awful fog! You must have been out a long time? You shall drink some tea before we start. Drawls, will you light the alcohol lamp on the tea-table? The kettle is filled."
Now I could understand how Desire had appeared amid a drift of fireshot smoke in the beam of my electric torch, the night before. Her hair was a garment of flame-bright silk flowing around her, curling and eddying in rich abundance. Over this she had worn the gray veils to smother all that color and sheen into neutral sameness with night and shadows. No wonder her face had seemed wraith-like when her startled shrinking away from the light had set all that drapery billowing about her.
She was the voice that had been my intimate comrade through weeks of strange adventure. She was the woman of the faded, yellow book, and the painted beauty at the Metropolitan. She was all the Desires of whom I had ever dreamed; and she was none of them, for she was herself. Her long dark eyes, suddenly lifted to me, were individual by that ancestral blending of drowsiness with watchfulness; yet were akin to the eyes of youth in all times by their innocence. Her mouth, too, was the soft mouth of a young girl kept apart from sordid life. But her forehead, the n.o.ble breadth between the black tracery of her eyebrows, expressed the student whose weird, lofty knowledge had so often abashed my ignorance.
Only my ignorance? Now as she looked at me across the room, all self-confidence trickled away from me. What distinguished me from a thousand men she might meet on any city street? What had I ever said worth note in the hours we had spent together? Now she saw me in the light, plainly commonplace; and remembering myself lame, I stood amazed at the audacity with which I had laid claim to her.
She was rising from the chair, gently putting aside Phillida"s detaining hands. She had not spoken one word since her faltered speech to me, upstairs. Neither Vere nor Phillida had heard her voice. She had given her hand to each of them and submitted to Phil"s care with a docility I failed to recognize in my companion of the dark. Her decisive movement now was more like the Desire Mich.e.l.l I knew. Only, what was she about to do? Repudiate my violence and me--perhaps go back to her hiding-place?
She came straight to where I stood, not daring even to advance toward her. We might have been alone in the room. I rather think we were, to her preoccupation.
"You must go away," she said. "If there is any hope, it is in that.
Nothing else matters, now; nothing! If you wish, take me with you. It would be wiser to leave me. But nothing really matters except that you should not stay here. I will obey you in everything if you will only go.