"Alas! this desperate resistance could not last long. I felt my strength fail, and this time it was not my sleep that enabled the coward to prevail, but my swoon."
Felton listened without uttering any word or sound, except an inward expression of agony. The sweat streamed down his marble forehead, and his hand, under his coat, tore his breast.
"My first impulse, on coming to myself, was to feel under my pillow for the knife I had not been able to reach; if it had not been useful for defense, it might at least serve for expiation.
"But on taking this knife, Felton, a terrible idea occurred to me. I have sworn to tell you all, and I will tell you all. I have promised you the truth; I will tell it, were it to destroy me."
"The idea came into your mind to avenge yourself on this man, did it not?" cried Felton.
"Yes," said Milady. "The idea was not that of a Christian, I knew; but without doubt, that eternal enemy of our souls, that lion roaring constantly around us, breathed it into my mind. In short, what shall I say to you, Felton?" continued Milady, in the tone of a woman accusing herself of a crime. "This idea occurred to me, and did not leave me; it is of this homicidal thought that I now bear the punishment."
"Continue, continue!" said Felton; "I am eager to see you attain your vengeance!"
"Oh, I resolved that it should take place as soon as possible. I had no doubt he would return the following night. During the day I had nothing to fear.
"When the hour of breakfast came, therefore, I did not hesitate to eat and drink. I had determined to make believe sup, but to eat nothing. I was forced, then, to combat the fast of the evening with the nourishment of the morning.
"Only I concealed a gla.s.s of water, which remained after my breakfast, thirst having been the chief of my sufferings when I remained forty-eight hours without eating or drinking.
"The day pa.s.sed away without having any other influence on me than to strengthen the resolution I had formed; only I took care that my face should not betray the thoughts of my heart, for I had no doubt I was watched. Several times, even, I felt a smile on my lips. Felton, I dare not tell you at what idea I smiled; you would hold me in horror--"
"Go on! go on!" said Felton; "you see plainly that I listen, and that I am anxious to know the end."
"Evening came; the ordinary events took place. During the darkness, as before, my supper was brought. Then the lamp was lighted, and I sat down to table. I only ate some fruit. I pretended to pour out water from the jug, but I only drank that which I had saved in my gla.s.s. The subst.i.tution was made so carefully that my spies, if I had any, could have no suspicion of it.
"After supper I exhibited the same marks of languor as on the preceding evening; but this time, as I yielded to fatigue, or as if I had become familiarized with danger, I dragged myself toward my bed, let my robe fall, and lay down.
"I found my knife where I had placed it, under my pillow, and while feigning to sleep, my hand grasped the handle of it convulsively.
"Two hours pa.s.sed away without anything fresh happening. Oh, my G.o.d! who could have said so the evening before? I began to fear that he would not come.
"At length I saw the lamp rise softly, and disappear in the depths of the ceiling; my chamber was filled with darkness and obscurity, but I made a strong effort to penetrate this darkness and obscurity.
"Nearly ten minutes pa.s.sed; I heard no other noise but the beating of my own heart. I implored heaven that he might come.
"At length I heard the well-known noise of the door, which opened and shut; I heard, notwithstanding the thickness of the carpet, a step which made the floor creak; I saw, notwithstanding the darkness, a shadow which approached my bed."
"Haste! haste!" said Felton; "do you not see that each of your words burns me like molten lead?"
"Then," continued Milady, "then I collected all my strength; I recalled to my mind that the moment of vengeance, or rather, of justice, had struck. I looked upon myself as another Judith; I gathered myself up, my knife in my hand, and when I saw him near me, stretching out his arms to find his victim, then, with the last cry of agony and despair, I struck him in the middle of his breast.
"The miserable villain! He had foreseen all. His breast was covered with a coat-of-mail; the knife was bent against it.
""Ah, ah!" cried he, seizing my arm, and wresting from me the weapon that had so badly served me, "you want to take my life, do you, my pretty Puritan? But that"s more than dislike, that"s ingrat.i.tude! Come, come, calm yourself, my sweet girl! I thought you had softened. I am not one of those tyrants who detain women by force. You don"t love me. With my usual fatuity I doubted it; now I am convinced. Tomorrow you shall be free."
"I had but one wish; that was that he should kill me.
""Beware!" said I, "for my liberty is your dishonor."
""Explain yourself, my pretty sibyl!"
""Yes; for as soon as I leave this place I will tell everything. I will proclaim the violence you have used toward me. I will describe my captivity. I will denounce this place of infamy. You are placed on high, my Lord, but tremble! Above you there is the king; above the king there is G.o.d!"
"However perfect master he was over himself, my persecutor allowed a movement of anger to escape him. I could not see the expression of his countenance, but I felt the arm tremble upon which my hand was placed.
""Then you shall not leave this place," said he.
""Very well," cried I, "then the place of my punishment will be that of my tomb. I will die here, and you will see if a phantom that accuses is not more terrible than a living being that threatens!"
""You shall have no weapon left in your power."
""There is a weapon which despair has placed within the reach of every creature who has the courage to use it. I will allow myself to die with hunger."
""Come," said the wretch, "is not peace much better than such a war as that? I will restore you to liberty this moment; I will proclaim you a piece of immaculate virtue; I will name you the Lucretia of England."
""And I will say that you are the s.e.xtus. I will denounce you before men, as I have denounced you before G.o.d; and if it be necessary that, like Lucretia, I should sign my accusation with my blood, I will sign it."
""Ah!" said my enemy, in a jeering tone, "that"s quite another thing. My faith! everything considered, you are very well off here. You shall want for nothing, and if you let yourself die of hunger that will be your own fault."
"At these words he retired. I heard the door open and shut, and I remained overwhelmed, less, I confess it, by my grief than by the mortification of not having avenged myself.
"He kept his word. All the day, all the next night pa.s.sed away without my seeing him again. But I also kept my word with him, and I neither ate nor drank. I was, as I told him, resolved to die of hunger.
"I pa.s.sed the day and the night in prayer, for I hoped that G.o.d would pardon me my suicide.
"The second night the door opened; I was lying on the floor, for my strength began to abandon me.
"At the noise I raised myself up on one hand.
""Well," said a voice which vibrated in too terrible a manner in my ear not to be recognized, "well! Are we softened a little? Will we not pay for our liberty with a single promise of silence? Come, I am a good sort of a prince," added he, "and although I like not Puritans I do them justice; and it is the same with Puritanesses, when they are pretty.
Come, take a little oath for me on the cross; I won"t ask anything more of you."
""On the cross," cried I, rising, for at that abhorred voice I had recovered all my strength, "on the cross I swear that no promise, no menace, no force, no torture, shall close my mouth! On the cross I swear to denounce you everywhere as a murderer, as a thief of honor, as a base coward! On the cross I swear, if I ever leave this place, to call down vengeance upon you from the whole human race!"
""Beware!" said the voice, in a threatening accent that I had never yet heard. "I have an extraordinary means which I will not employ but in the last extremity to close your mouth, or at least to prevent anyone from believing a word you may utter."
"I mustered all my strength to reply to him with a burst of laughter.
"He saw that it was a merciless war between us--a war to the death.
""Listen!" said he. "I give you the rest of tonight and all day tomorrow. Reflect: promise to be silent, and riches, consideration, even honor, shall surround you; threaten to speak, and I will condemn you to infamy."
""You?" cried I. "You?"
""To interminable, ineffaceable infamy!"
""You?" repeated I. Oh, I declare to you, Felton, I thought him mad!