Raina offered a confident smile to put her father at ease, and yet there was a slight unease to it. He didn"t seem to be too sure what to say in regards to her new pa.s.stime. The skills she had learned from Mordakai about how to school her features sure came in handy now. From the outside she looked sure of herself but within, she was a duck on a pond her feet going a mile a minute."Raina, why would you take up a sword? You are perfect the way you are, why does it seem like you are trying to fit into a mold?" Clovis asked deciding to try to understand rather than pretend that he did. He knew she was logical, or at least she had a firm grasp on the seven year old logic, as peculiar as it may seem. Raina sighed deeply, and looked down at her little hands, calluses forming on her soft palms. There was a sense of sadness in her eyes that made him feel as though he had just asked a very cruel question on his baby girl.
"I didn"t take up a sword, or the etiquette lessons to fit into some mold, father. These were both my choice, just as the Zither and medicine were. Though I know you prefer I stick to making medicine, it wasn"t what I wanted." Raina replied her voice was carefully controlled and showed a bit of maturity that he hadn"t expected from her. To be honest, it was a lot for her to say at one time to begin with.
"I am not saying you are wrong, but I do not understand. I am not telling you that you can not continue what you are doing. I simply want to understand it, Raina." Clovis realized his daughter was getting a touch defensive from the look in her eyes.
"Raina, what your father is trying to say is this doesn"t seem like you. We both want to make sure your not doing this for the wrong reasons. The life of a Warrioress is not for the faint of heart, if you want it then we will support you but at the same time its best to have this conversation before you get too far in." Kyera tried to help explain Clovis" concerns. She knew how it felt to be on that side of the table explaining her choices. Raina nodded and smiled softly.
"I see. It started out because I wanted to be able to be a better princess, not just a gla.s.s doll to protect. I wanted to learn to be a perfectly behaved princes so that I could impress in the heir games. The sword so I could protect myself." Raina repleid and Clovis frowned as she stated the exact reason he was worried about hearing. "However, after my first lesson with Mordakai and my following lessons with Lazrin and Mordrin I learned that I feel free. The blade is part of me, the motions make sense and I like it. It feels like I am finally getting to break free of that mold. The one Grandfather and the others expected of me." Raina tried to explain herself but it was so difficult to think over everything that had happened and explain it to her father now. There were so many emotions building up as she tried to put that past into words. "They always wanted things from me. They had expectations of a quiet, background princess. Don"t draw attention, behave, walk straight, practice your studies. Have you done your calligraphy work? A princess shouldn"t do this, a Princess should know how to do that." Raina"s voice seemed to mimic a older, nasally voice as she prattled off the different orders she had been given through the years, the sentences like icey blades in the air. "That was a mold, that was fake. I feel like… I can be me here and I don"t want to go back to that. I want them to eat their words and realize that I am enough. I am Raina and I don"t have to be a perfect little mouse to be a princess. I can be me."
Before the first tear had time to reach the floor, Raina found herself wrapped in a pair of warm arms. Her father"s familiar scent enveloping her in warmth. The sense of safety was back in the span of a moment. "You have always been enough." Clovis whispered into his daughter"s ear as he held her close. He hid the tears in his eyes over her shoulder. Kyera watched, sadness in her eyes.
She knew how rough it could be to grow up with so many expectations for what she should have been. The pressure could be unbearable and it hurt her that Raina had gone through some of those same pains. Kyera watched quietly as the Father and daughter held each other tight and the child dissolved into tears.