"But--. Oh, Mrs. Connolly, I don"t know whether I want him to break it."
"Why not?"
With her face hidden. "I don"t know whether I could let him--go."
"You"d let him go. Never fear. When the moment came, the good Lord would give you strength--"
There were steps outside. Jean leaned over and kissed Mary Connolly on the cheek. "You are such a darling--I don"t wonder that my mother loved you."
"Well, you"ll always be more than just yourself to me," said Mary.
"You"ll always be your mother"s baby. And after I get lunch for you and the men I am going back to the church and ask the blessed Virgin to intercede for your happiness."
So it was while Mary was at church, and the two men had gone to town upon some legal matter, that Jean, left alone, wandered through the house, and always before her flitted the happy ghost of the girl who had come there to spend her honeymoon. In the great south chamber was a picture of her mother, and one of her father as they looked at the time of their marriage. Her mother was in organdie with great balloon sleeves, and her hair in a Psyche knot. She was a slender little thing, and the young doctor"s picture was a great contrast in its blondness and bigness. Daddy had worn a beard then, pointed, as was the way with doctors of his day, and he looked very different, except for the eyes which had the same teasing twinkle.
The window of this room looked out over the orchard, the orchard which had been bursting with bloom when the bride came. The trees now were slim little skeletons, with the faint gold of the western sky back of them, and there was much snow. Yet so vivid was Jean"s impression of what had been, that she would have sworn her nostrils were a.s.sailed by a delicate fragrance, that her eyes beheld wind-blown petals of white and pink.
The long mirror reflecting her showed her in her straight frock of dark blue serge, with the white collars and cuffs. The same mirror had reflected her mother"s organdie. It, too, had been blue, Mary had told her, but blue with such a difference! A faint forget-me-not shade, with a satin girdle, and a stiff satin collar!
Two girls, with a quarter of a century between them. Yet the mother had laughed and loved, and had looked forward to a long life with her gay big husband. They had had ten years of it, and then there had been just her ghost to haunt the old rooms.
Jean shivered a little as she went downstairs. She found herself a little afraid of the lonely darkening house. She wished that Mary would come.
Curled up in one of the big chairs, she waited. Half-asleep and half-awake; she was aware of shadow-shapes which came and went. Her Scotch great-grandfather, the little Irish great-grandmother; her copper-headed grandfather, his English wife, her own mother, pale and dark-haired and of Huguenot strain, her own dear father.
From each of these something had been given her, some fault, some virtue. If any of them had been brave, there must have been handed down to her some bit of bravery--if any of them had been cowards--
But none of them had been cowards.
"_We came to a new country," said the great-grandparents. "There were hardships, but we loved and lived through them--_"
"_The Civil war tore our hearts," said the grand-parents. "Brother hated brother, and friend hated friend, but we loved and lived through it--_"
"_We were not tested," said her own parents. "You are our child and test has come to you. If you are brave, it will be because we have given to you that which came first to us--_"
Jean sat up, wide-awake--"_I am not brave_," she said.
She stood, after that, at a lower window, watching. Far down the road a big black motor flew straight as a crow towards the hill on which the Doctor"s house stood. It stopped at the gate. A man stepped out.
Jean gave a gasp, then flew to meet him.
"Oh, Derry, Derry--"
He came in and shut the door behind him, took her in his arms, kissed her, and kissed her again. "I love you," he said, "I love you. I couldn"t stay away--"
It seemed to Jean quite the most wonderful thing of all the wonderful things that had happened, that he should be here in this old house where her parents had come for their honeymoon--where her own honeymoon was so soon to be--.
She saved that news for him, however. He had to tell her first of how he had taken the wrong road after he had left Baltimore. He had gone without his lunch to get to her quickly. No, he wasn"t hungry, and he was glad Mary Connolly was out, "I"ve so much to say to you."
Then, too, she delayed the telling so that he might see the farm before darkness fell. She wrapped herself in a hooded red cloak in which he thought her more than ever adorable.
The sun rested on the rim of the world, a golden disk under a wind-blown sky. It was very cold, but she was warm in her red cloak, he in his fur-lined coat and cap.
She told him about her father"s honeymoon, hugging her own secret close. "They came here, Derry, and it was in May. I wish you could see the place in May, with all the appleblooms.
"It seems queer, doesn"t it, Derry, to think of father honeymooning.
He always seems to be making fun of things, and one should be serious on a honeymoon."
She flashed a smile at him and he smiled back. "I shall be very serious on mine."
"Of course. Derry, wouldn"t you like a honeymoon here?"
"I should like it anywhere--with you--"
"Well," she drew a deep breath, "Daddy says we may--"
"We may what, Jean-Joan?"
"Get married--"
"Before he goes?"
"Yes."
She leaned forward to get the full effect of his surprise, to watch the dawn of his delight.
But something else dawned. Embarra.s.sment? Out of a bewildering silence she heard him say, "I am not sure, dear, that it will be best for us to marry before he goes."
She had a stunned feeling that, quite unaccountably, Derry was failing her. A shamed feeling that she had offered herself and had been rejected.
Something of this showed in her face. "My dear, my dear," he said, "let us go in. I can tell you better there."
Once more in the warm sitting room with the door shut behind them, he lifted her bodily in his arms. "Don"t you know I want it," he whispered, tensely. "Tell me that you know--"
When he set her down, his own face showed the stress of his emotion.
"You are always to remember this," he said, "that no matter what happens, I am yours, yours--always, till the end of time."
Instinctively she felt that this Derry was in some way different from the Derry she had left the day before. There was a hint of masterfulness, a touch of decision.
"Will you remember?" he repeated, hands tight on her shoulders.
"Yes," she said, simply.
He bent and kissed her. "Then nothing else will matter." He placed a big chair for her in front of the fire, and drew another up in front of it. Bending forward, he took her hands. "I am glad I found you alone.
What luck it was to find you alone!"
He tried then to tell her what he had come to tell. Yet, after all there was much that he left unsaid. How could he speak to her of the things he had seen in his father"s shadowed house? How fill that delicate mind with a knowledge of that which seemed even to his greater sophistication unspeakable?
So she wondered over several matters. "How can he want to marry Hilda?
I can"t imagine any man wanting Hilda."