"But this is no longer your home."
"It was never home," said Hilda, darkly. "It was never home. I lived here with you and your father, but it was never home."
Jean, more than ever afraid of this woman, had a sudden sense of something tragic in the fact of Hilda"s homelessness.
"I don"t quite see what you mean," she said, slowly.
"You couldn"t see," Hilda told her, "and you will never see. Women like you don"t."
"We didn"t get on very well together," Jean said, almost timidly, "but that was because we were different."
"It wasn"t because we were different that we didn"t get on," Hilda said. "It was because you were afraid of me. You knew your father liked me."
With her usual frankness she spoke the truth as she saw it.
"I was not afraid," Jean faltered.
"You were. But we needn"t talk about that. I am going to France."
"When?"
"As soon as I can get there. That"s why I came here. To take away some things I wanted."
"Oh--"
"And one of the things I wanted was the picture of your father which hung in your room. I have taken that. You can get more of them. I can"t. So I have taken it."
They faced each other, this shining child and this dark woman.
"But--but it is mine--Hilda."
"It is mine now, and if I were you, I shouldn"t make a fuss about it."
"Hilda, how dare you!" Jean began in the old indignant way, and stopped. There was something so sinister about it all. She hated the thought that she and Hilda were alone in the empty house--
"Hilda, if you go to France, shall you see Daddy?"
"I shall try. I had a letter from him the other day. He told me not to come. But I am going. There is work to do, and I am going."
Jean had a stunned feeling, as if there was nothing left to say, as if Hilda were indeed a rock, and words would rebound from her hard surface.
"But after all, you didn"t really care for Daddy--"
"What makes you say that?"
"You were going to marry the General."
"Well, I wanted a home. I wanted some of the things you had always had. I"m not old, and I am tired of being a machine."
For just one moment her anger blazed, then she laughed with something of toleration.
"Oh, you"d never understand if I talked a year. So what"s the use of wasting breath?"
She said "Good-bye" after that, and Jean watched her go, hearing the padded steps--until the front door shut and there was silence.
After that, with almost a sense of panic, she sped through the empty rooms, finding the papers after a frantic search, and gaining the street with a sense of escape.
Yet even then, it was sometime before her heart beat normally, and always after that when she thought of Hilda, it was against the chill and gloom of the empty house, with that look upon her face of dark resentment.
CHAPTER XXIV
THE SINGING WOMAN
Somewhere in France, Drusilla had found the Captain. Or, rather, he had found her. He had come upon her one rainy afternoon, and had not recognized her in her muddy uniform, with a strap under her chin. Then all at once he had heard her voice, crooning a song to a badly wounded boy whose head lay in her lap.
The Captain had stopped in his tracks. "Drusilla--"
The light in her eyes gave him his welcome, but she waved him away.
The boy died in her arms. When she joined her lover, she was much moved. "It is not my work to look after the wounded; I carry blankets and things to refugees. But now and then--it happens. A sh.e.l.l burst in the street, and that poor lad--! He asked me to sing for him--you see, I have been singing for them as they go through, and he remembered--"
He was holding both of her hands in his. "Dear woman, dear woman--"
There were people all about them, but there were no conventions in war times, and n.o.body cared if he held her hands.
Her face was dirty, her hair wind-blown. She was muddy and without a trace of the smartness for which she had been famous. She was simply a hard-worked woman in clothes of masculine cut, yet never had she seemed so beautiful to her lover. He bent and kissed her in the market-place.
He was an undemonstrative Englishman, but there was that in her eyes which carried him away from self-consciousness.
"I saw McKenzie in Paris," he said. "He told me that you were here."
"We came over together. Did you get my letter?"
"I have had no letters. But now that I have you, nothing matters."
"Really? Somehow I don"t feel that I deserve it."
"Deserve what?"
"All that you are giving me. But I have liked to think of it. It has been a prop to lean on--"
"Only that--?"
"A shield and a buckler, dearest, a cross held high--" Her breath came quickly.
They sat side by side on the worn doorstep of a shattered building and talked.