But she was glad.
While the Captain held her hand in his as if he would never let her go, she told him about being fluted and starched. "I don"t look as dishevelled as I did the other day."
"You looked beautiful the other day," he a.s.sured her with fervor, "but this is better, because you are rested and some of the sadness has gone out of your eyes."
Dr. McKenzie watched them enviously, "I realize," he reminded them, "that I am the fifth wheel, or any other superfluous thing, but you can"t get rid of me. I am homesick--somebody"s got to cheer me up."
"We don"t want to get rid of you," Drusilla told him, smiling.
But he knew that her loveliness was all for the Captain. She was lighted up by the presence of her betrothed, made exquisite, softer, more womanly. Love had come slowly to Drusilla, but it had come at last.
When the Doctor left them, he was in a daze of loneliness. He wanted Jean, he wanted sympathy, understanding, good-comradeship.
For just one little moment temptation a.s.sailed him. There was of course, Hilda. She would bring with her the atmosphere of familiar things which he craved. There would be the easy give and take of speech which was such a relief after his professional manner, there would be his own teasing sense of how much she wanted, and of how little he had to give. There would be, too, the stimulus to his vanity.
A broken-hearted Hilda, Drusilla had said. There was something provocative in the situation--elements of drama. Why not?
He thought about it that night when once more back at his work he and his head nurse discussed a case of sh.e.l.l shock--a pitiful case of fear, loss of memory, complete prostration.
The nurse was a plain little thing, very competent, very quiet. She was, perhaps, no more competent than Hilda in the mechanics of her profession, but she had qualities which Hilda lacked. She was not very young, and there were younger nurses under her. Yet in spite of her plainness and quietness, she wielded an influence which was remarkable.
The whole hospital force was feeling the effect of that influence. It was as if every nurse had in some rather high and special way dedicated herself--as nuns might to the conventual life, or sisters of charity to the service of the poor. There was indeed a heroic aspect to it, a spiritual aspect, and this plain little woman was setting the pace.
And Hilda, coming in, would spoil it all. Oh, he knew how she would spoil it. With her mocking laugh, her warped judgments, her skeptical point of view.
No, he did not want Hilda. The best in him did not want her, and please G.o.d, he was giving his best to this cause. However he might fail in other things, he would not fail in his high duty towards the men who came out of battle shattered and broken, holding up their hands to him for help.
"I am going to let Miss Shelby have the case," the plain little nurse was saying, "when he begins to come back. She will give him what he needs. She is so strong and young, so sure of the eternal rightness of things--and she"s got to make him sure."
The Doctor nodded. "Some of us are not sure--"
She agreed gravely. "But we are learning to be sure, aren"t we, over here? Don"t you feel that all the things you have ever done are little compared to this? That men and women are better and bigger than you have believed?"
"If anyone could make me feel it," he said, "it would be you."
When she had gone, he wrote letters.
He wrote to Jean--he wrote every day to Jean.
He wrote to Hilda.
"You are splendidly fitted for just the thing that you are doing. Men come and go and you care for their wounds. But we have to care here for more than men"s bodies, we care for their minds and souls--we piece them together, as it were. And we need women who believe that G.o.d"s in his Heaven. And you don"t believe it, Hilda. I fancy that you see in every man his particular devil, and like to lure it out for him to look at--"
He stopped there. He could see her reading what he had written. She would laugh a little, and write back:
"Are you any better than I? If I am too black to herd with the white sheep, what of you; aren"t you tarred with the same brush--?"
He tore up the letter and sent a brief note. Why explain what he was feeling to Hilda? She was of those who would never know nor understand.
And he felt the need tonight of understanding--of sympathy.
And so he wrote to Emily.
CHAPTER XXV
WHITE VIOLETS
Bruce McKenzie"s letter arriving in due time at the Toy Shop, found Emily very busy. There were many women to be instructed how to do things with gauze and muslin and cotton, so she tucked the letter in her ap.r.o.n pocket. But all day her mind went to it, as a feast to be deferred until the time came to enjoy it.
In the afternoon Ulrich Stolle arrived, bearing the inevitable tissue paper parcel.
"Do you know what day it is?" he asked.
"Thursday."
"There are always Thursdays. But this is a special Thursday."
"Is it?"
"And you ask me like that? It is a Thursday for valentines."
"Of course. But how could you expect me to remember? n.o.body ever sends me valentines."
"My father has sent you one." It was a heart-shaped basket of pink roses; "but mine I couldn"t bring. You must come and see it. Will you dine with us tonight?"
"Oh, I am so busy."
"You are not too busy for that. Let your little Jean take charge."
Jean, all in white with her white veil and red crosses was more than ever like a little nun. She was remote, too, like a nun, wrapped not in the contemplation of her religion, but of her love.
She still made toys, and the proceeds of the sale of Lovely Dreams had been contributed by herself and Emily for Red Cross purposes. There were rows and rows of the fantastic creatures behind gla.s.s doors on the shelves, and for Valentine"s Day Jean had carved and painted pale doves which carried in their beaks rosy hearts and golden arrows and whose wings were outspread--.
There were also on the shelves the white plush elephants which Franz Stolle and his friends had made, and which were, too, being sold to swell the Red Cross fund.
Thus had the Toy Shop come into its own. "I have enough to live on,"
Emily had said, "at least for a while, and I am taking no more chances for future living, than the men who give up everything to fight."
So enlisted in this cause of mercy as men had enlisted in the cause of war, Miss Emily led where others followed, and the old patriarch of all the white elephants, who had been born in a country of blood and iron, looked down on women working to heal the wounds which his country had made.
"Let your little Jean look after things," Ulrich repeated.