Frances"s account of the king"s state of mind alarmed me, and I determined to see George as soon as possible and advise him to leave England at once. I was delayed in going, but on a cold, stormy day at the end of a fortnight I found my opportunity, and took boat for the Old Swan, not minding the snow and sleet, because I was very happy knowing that I should see Betty. I had of late done all in my power to keep away from her, but the longing had grown upon me, and I was glad to have an honest excuse to visit Gracious Street.
I have spoken heretofore of my engagement to marry Mary Hamilton, and my pa.s.sion for Betty may indicate that my heart was susceptible, if not fickle. But aside from Betty"s Hebe-like charms of person and sweetness of disposition, there were other reasons for my falling off respecting Mary. While she had promised to marry me, still there was a coldness, perhaps I should say a calmness, in her manner toward me, and a cautiousness in holding me aloof which seemed to indicate a desire on her part for a better establishment in life than I could give, if perchance a better offered. My suit had not prospered, though it had not failed, since she was to be my wife provided she found no more eligible husband within a reasonable time.
Dangling blunts the edge of ardor; therefore I soon found myself noticing beauty elsewhere and discovered none that could be compared with that of Betty Pickering of the Old Swan. It is true she was, in a sense, a barmaid, and equally true that I had no thought of marrying her. Still it was significant even at that early time that my mind reverted to the fact that Edward Hyde, Lord Chancellor of England and Earl of Clarendon, had married an innkeeper"s widow, whose daughter became the mother of two queens.
While this was true, still I respected Betty less than I admired her and far less than she deserved, never entirely forgetting her station in life nor ceasing to recognize the great distance between us.
When I entered the Old Swan, Betty greeted me with a smile amid a nest of dimples, and led me upstairs to her parlor, so that we might talk without being overheard. I sat down on a settle, and Betty took her place beside me. Her hands rested on her lap, giving her an air of contentment as she turned her face toward me and asked:--
"Have you come to see Master Hamilton?"
"Yes," I answered, "and you."
"And me?" she asked, looking up with a curious little smile. "In what way may I serve you?"
"By sitting there and permitting me to look at you," I answered.
"Oh, is that all?" she asked, laughing softly.
"And by smiling once in a while," I suggested.
"Who shall smile? You or I?" she queried, glancing slyly up to me.
"Oh, you, by all means," I returned. "There is no beauty in my smile, while yours--"
"Come, come, Baron Ned," she interrupted, looking up to me pleadingly.
"My smiles are honest, and that is all that is needful in my case. So don"t try to make me believe they are anything more. Don"t make a fool of me by flattery."
"Don"t you like flattery, Betty?" I asked.
"Yes, of course I do," she returned, smiling and dimpling exquisitely.
"But it is not good for me. You know I might grow to believing it and you."
"But it is true, Betty, and you may believe me," I answered, very earnestly, taking her hand from her lap.
She permitted me to hold her hand for a moment, and said:--
"I am so desirous of keeping my regard for you and of holding your regard for me that I am tempted to tell you I fear it will all change if I find you inclined to doubt that I am an honest girl."
"I do not doubt it, Betty," I answered. "I know you and respect you, and you shall have no good cause to change your regard for me, if you have any."
"Frequently gentlemen are rude to me in the tap-room, and I submit rather than make trouble by resenting it, but you have always been respectful, and--and I have appreciated it, Baron Ned. Father says I need not go to the tap-room hereafter, but may direct the maids in the house, now that I am growing old--near twenty."
"Twenty?" I asked. And she nodded her head proudly.
"Yes."
"I thought you were still a child," I remarked.
"No, no," she returned, looking up to me open-eyed and very serious. "I am a woman."
"Yes, a beautiful child-woman--the most beautiful in all the world," I said, grasping her hand and holding it a moment till its fluttering ceased. "And I am jealous of every other man who comes near you."
I saw that my remark had offended her, so I continued earnestly: "I meant it, Betty; I meant it. I was not jesting."
Betty sighed, looked quickly up to me, half in doubt, half in inquiry, and was about to speak, but closed her lips on her words and leaned forward, her head drooping eloquently. Her gentleness, her sweetness, and her beauty were so tempting that I could not resist their charm. Again I caught her hand, and it trembled in mine as she tried faintly to withdraw it. I tried to check myself but failed, and I put my arm about her waist.
Then, after a mighty effort to stay my words, I said pleadingly:--
"Ah, Betty, I love you. Please, please, Betty, believe me, and--and--just one kiss."
"No, no," she cried pleadingly, trying to draw away from me. "It could not be honest between us. You are a n.o.bleman--I, a barmaid. Your friendship is very dear to me. Please let me keep it, Baron Ned, and let me keep my regard for you. Let there be at least one man whom I do not fear. You know there can be nothing honest between us, and if it be possible that one so lowly as I can deserve your respect, let me have it, Baron Ned, let me have it. Let me keep it, for it is the dearest thing in life to me."
There was such deep entreaty in her voice that it touched me to the heart, and I drew away from her immediately, saying:--
"I do know there can be nothing honest between us, Betty, and knowing it, have suffered. What I have said to you is little compared to what I feel and to what I would say. I can"t help it that I love you, Betty, but you shall never have cause to fear me. Do you believe me and do you trust me, Betty?"
For answer she held up her lips to me. What she had refused on my request, she gave of her own accord, saying:--
"There, Baron Ned. Now, if you really respect me, you will know that I trust you, for I am not a girl to do this thing wantonly. Perhaps I should not have done it at all, but you must know that I could not help it. If you care for my friendship or are concerned for my happiness, I beg you never tempt me to repeat my folly. There is no other man, but now you must know after what I have done, that there is one--yourself. But there can be nothing but friendship between us, Baron Ned, and oh, that is so much to me! Let me have what happiness I can find in it!"
"But I love you, Betty, and I know that you love me," I answered, unable to restrain my tongue.
She did not speak, so I asked, "Do you not, Betty?"
"No," she answered, shaking her head dolefully. But I knew she did not tell the truth.
Presently she asked. "Do you want to see Master Hamilton?"
I answered that I did, and she said I might go to the printing shop, where she was sure I should find him.
She rose and started toward the door. I called to her, but she did not stop, so I ran after her, saying:--
"Have I offended you, Betty?"
"No," she answered, drooping her head. "But I am very unhappy, and I want to be alone so that I may cry. You know it is much harder to forego the thing one wants but may not take, than it is to do without the thing one wants but cannot take. Yearning for the impossible brings longing, for the possible anguish."
And I remained silent, almost hating myself.
I went to the tap-room with Betty, and the courtyard being vacant for a moment, I ran across and down the steps to see Hamilton.
I had tried to see Frances that morning at Whitehall, but failed, being told that she had gone to visit her father. I had stopped at Sir Richard"s house, but Frances was not there, and I half suspected I might find her with Hamilton.
I found Hamilton at his printing-press, and after I had told him of the risk he ran by remaining in London, he said:--
"I have been making an honest living from my _News Letter_ and am sorry to give it up, but I fear trouble will come very soon if I continue to publish it. The king has a score of human bloodhounds seeking me. It is rather odd, isn"t it, to hear a man of the house of Hamilton talking about making money by work, but of all the money I have ever touched, that which I have made honestly from the _News Letter_ has been the sweetest. The work has been a delight to me, even aside from the fact that it gives me an opportunity to abuse the king. Lilly tells me that the king asked him to consult the stars concerning my threats against the royal life. The result was favorable to me."
"It is strange that the king should be duped by a palpable humbug," I remarked, supposing that George would agree with me. But, no! He turned on me almost fiercely:--
"Lilly is not a humbug! Of course he humbugs the king, but everybody does. I have known him to do some wonderful things by the help of his astrological figures, conjunctions, constellations, and calculations."