"One look was enough."
"Oh, you all think you"ve got rid of a thing when you"ve turned your backs on it. That"s the way men quarrel. "Oh, So-and-So"s a bounder; blackball him and have done with it." And so long as he isn"t in your Club he doesn"t exist for you."
I pondered, my eyes on her old-fashioned studio-trappings. "Well, say that"s a man"s way of defending his friend. What"s a woman"s?"
Our eyes met once more, and I knew a very great deal about Miss Julia Oliphant by the time she had uttered her next six words.
"A woman has her to tea," she replied.
Then, as if something within her would no longer be pent up, she broke into rapid speech.
"Oh, _I_ know you men! You"re all too, too kind! Forgive me if I say I think you like the feeling. It pleases you, and you don"t stop to think that it puts all the more on us. You make your magnificent gesture, but we have to go round picking up after you. Do you think I"d let that woman out of my sight?... But I"m sorry I had to trick you a little."
"To trick me?"
"Yes, when you first came in. I saw you were puzzled and--disappointed in me. You see, when a person"s coming to tea and may be here any moment you have to keep some sort of hand on yourself. It isn"t the time to indulge your real feelings. So I took no chances. I"m sorry if I threw you off the track.... Well, you"ve seen her, and you"ve read her book.
Tell me where you think the toy dog comes in."
She was speaking vehemently enough now. She did not give me time to reply.
"I"ll tell you. You and Derry--all the decent men--a toy dog fetches you every time. You"re all so, _so_ kind! You see tragedies and empty cradles and all the rest of it straight away. And perhaps once in a while you"re right. But you can take it from me you"re wrong this time.
I"ve known her all my life, and I don"t believe she ever for a single moment wanted a child. She"d never have put up with the bother of one.
So Derry"s worrying all about nothing. All that sticks in her throat is that she imagines she"s been pilloried as not being able to have one.
Her vanity was hurt, not her motherhood at all. Now that she"s got rid of that bookful of bile I think she"s a perfectly happy woman. Her days are just one succession of shopping and matinees and calls and manicuring and Turkish baths and getting rid of Ba.s.sett"s money. It was just the same during the war--flag-days and driving convalescents about, and bits of canteen-work and committees by the score.... Oh, Derry needn"t worry his head; tragedy"s quite out of the picture! Let"s have the truth. No weeping Niobe--just scents and powders and Puppetty and an imaginary grievance--that"s her."
I think it is my own s.e.x that is the merciful one, at any rate to woman.
Man has made radiant veils for her, has shut his eyes to this or that stark aspect of her, because the world has to go on by his efforts and he cannot afford to begin his scheme of things all over again every time he sees the red light of the prime in a woman"s eyes. Julia Oliphant had spoken cruelly, ruthlessly, without decency; and I now knew why. No woman cares that a wrong is done in the abstract. Her bitterness and hate ever mean that someone dear to her has been subjected to indignity and pain. And suddenly I rose from my seat, crossed to the settee, and, sitting down by Julia Oliphant"s side, did a thing I am not in the habit of doing upon a short acquaintance. I took both her hands into mine.
With as little hesitation as I had taken them her fingers closed on mine. And I fancied the quick strong pressure answered the question I was going to ask her before ever my lips spoke it. It had all been there months before--all prepared and promised in that first steady intimate look across the rosy-shaded candles of that dinner-table. I spoke quite quietly.
"Isn"t there something I"d better know--and hadn"t you better tell me now?" I said.
Again that firm cool pressure of the fingers. The tired eyes looked gratefully into mine.
"I always knew you"d be like that if only----"
"Then tell me. Because when you"ve done I"ve something to tell you."
G.o.d knows what fires were instantly ablaze in the depths of the eyes.
"About him?" broke instantly from her lips.
"You tell me first."
The fires died down, and the voice dropped again.
"Tell you? I don"t mind telling you.... Of course; all my life; ever since we were children together. Not that he ever gave me a thought. But that made no difference."
And having said it she had said all. I saw the beginning of the fires again. She went straight on. "Now what were you going to tell me?"
Remember it was not yet eighteen hours since Derwent Rose had thrust me out of his door, torn between an angel and a devil within himself. But what are eighteen hours to a man who has two scales of time? To him they might represent years of experience. He had clung desperately to his better man, but--who knew?--already he might be less accessible to the angelic. If I was not already too late, to catch him while he was of that same mind and will was the important thing. If this woman who had just told me with such touching simplicity that she had loved him all her life was indeed his good angel, it seemed to me that here was her work waiting for her. I saw her as none the less loving that she could vehemently hate for the protection of her love. That she would fly to him the moment her mind grasped his story I had not an instant"s doubt.
Nor did I stop to consider that I might be betraying something he did not wish known. It was no time for subtleties. Remembering his anguish, I did not think he would refuse any help that was to be had. Here by my side was his cure if cure there was to be found.
Still with her hands in mine, I took my plunge.
The first time she interrupted me was very much where I had interrupted him. She wanted to know, apart from mere imaginary changes that might have been due to variable health, what visible proofs there were of all this. I wished to spare her those two ( )"s on Rose"s neck, but she smiled ever so faintly.
"Yes, you"re all nice dears. But I know perfectly well the kind of thing it might be. So don"t let that trouble you. It"s important, you know."
So I told her. She merely nodded. "He never did know anything about women," she said. "Go on."
Her next interruption came when I spoke of his tearing the book, though this was more of a confirmation than a true interruption.
"He was a perfectly glorious athlete," she remarked calmly, "but he always hated pot-hunting, and later of course his books interfered with his training a good deal. I remember once ... but never mind. I wonder if we shall have all that over again?"
"Then you"ve managed to swallow the monstrous thing so far?" I said in wonder.
"I told you his life had been one marvellous mistake after another. Go on," she replied.
But as I proceeded her calm became less and less a.s.sured. I was purposely omitting from my account such elements as might tend to agitate her, but she seemed to divine this, and perhaps she thought I suppressed more than I did. Suddenly she broke out:
"Never mind all that about ratios. I don"t know anything about ratios.
The point is, when does he expect the next--attack?"
"I hardly know--I rather think----" I began, now quite violently holding her hands, which she had tried to withdraw. She had also attempted to rise.
"Soon? A month? A week? To-morrow?" she demanded.
"He"s not sure himself, but I"m rather afraid----"
She allowed me to say no more. She plucked her hands from mine and ran out of the studio. I heard the single faint "ting" of a telephone-receiver being lifted from its fork, and a moment later, "Is that the taxi-rank? The Boltons--Miss Oliphant--as quick as you can."
Three minutes later she reappeared. She had thrown a wrap over her tea-gown, and was hurriedly tying a scarf under her chin.
"Isn"t that taxi here yet? How long should it take from here to Cambridge Circus?"
"Twenty or twenty-five minutes."
"You"d better come with me. You can tell me the rest on the way.... What a time he is taking! Wouldn"t it be quicker to pick one up outside?
Listen--no, that"s only letters. Perhaps the man"s waiting and hasn"t rung--let"s wait at the street entrance--here"s your hat----"
She opened the inner door, kicked aside the letters on the floor, and sped along the corridor. The taxi glided up as we reached the entrance.
The next minute we were on our way.
The streets were full and our progress was slow. People were hurrying to their homeward tubes, running along in knots of a dozen or a score at the tails of the slowing-down omnibuses.
"Surely there ought to be a quicker way than along Oxford Street at this hour!" she exclaimed petulantly. Then she threw herself back in the corner. Apparently she had forgotten all about the rest of my story. One idea and one only possessed her--haste, haste. I am perfectly sure that had she been in the driver"s seat not an uplifted blue and white cuff in London would have stopped her.