"The fool of the years behind me," he replied, "and entering on my forty-first a sage."
"To be the mate and equal of your companion?"
"To prove I have had good training under the wisest to act as her guide and master."
"If she--" the baroness checked her exclamation, saying: "She declined to come to me. I would have plumbed her for some solid ground, something to rest one"s faith on. Your Pyrrhas, Glyceras, and others of the like, were not stable persons for a man of our days to bind his life to one of them. Harness is harness, and a light yoke-fellow can make a proud career deviate."
"But I give her a soul!" said Alvan. "I am the wine, and she the crystal cup. She has avowed it again and again. You read her as she is when away from me. Then she is a reed, a weed, what you will; she is unfit to contend when she stands alone. But when I am beside her, when we are together--the moment I have her at arms" length she will be part of me by the magic I have seen each time we encountered. She knows it well."
"She may know it too well."
"For what?" He frowned.
"For the chances of your meeting."
"You think it possible she will refuse?"
A blackness pa.s.sing to lividness crossed his face. He fetched a big breath.
"Then finish my history, shut up the book; I am a phantom of a man, and everything written there is imposture! I can account for all that she has done hitherto, but not that she should refuse to see me. Not that she should refuse to see me now when I come armed to demand it! Refuse?
But I have done my work, done what I said I would do. I stand in my order of battle, and she refuses? No! I stake my head on it! I have not a clod"s perception, I have not a spark of sense to distinguish me from a flat-headed Lapp, if she refuses:--call me a mountebank who has gained his position by clever tumbling; a lucky gamester; whatever plays blind with chance."
He started up in agitation. "Lucie! I am a grinning skull without a brain if that girl refuses! She will not." He took his hat to leave, adding, to seem rational to the cool understanding he addressed: "She will not refuse; I am bound to think so in common respect for myself; I have done tricks to make me appear a rageing ape if she--oh! she cannot, she will not refuse. Never! I have eyes, I have wits, I am not tottering yet on my grave--or it"s blindly, if I am. I have my clear judgement, I am not an imbecile. It seems to me a foolish suspicion that she can possibly refuse. Her manners are generally good; freakish, but good in the main. Perhaps she takes a sting... but there is no sting here. It would be bad manners to refuse; to say nothing of... she has a heart!
Well, then, good manners and right feeling forbid her to refuse. She is an exceedingly intelligent girl, and I half fear I have helped you to a wrong impression of her. You will really appreciate her wit; you will indeed; believe me, you will. We pardon nonsense in a girl. Married, she will put on the matron with becoming decency, and I am responsible for her then; I stand surety for her then; when I have her with me I warrant her mine and all mine, head and heels, at a whistle, like the Cossack"s horse. I fancy that at forty I am about as young as most young men.
I promise her another forty manful working years. Are you dubious of that?"
"I nod to you from the palsied summit of ninety," said the baroness.
Alvan gave a short laugh and stammered excuses for his naked egoism, comparing himself to a forester who has sharpened such an appet.i.te in toiling to slay his roe that he can think of nothing but the fire preparing the feast.
"Hymen and things hymenaeal!" he said, laughing at himself for resuming the offence on the apology for it. "I could talk with interest of a trousseau. I have debated in my mind with parliamentary acrimony about a choice of wedding-presents. As she is legally free to bestow her hand on me--and only a brute"s horns could contest the fact--she may decide to be married the day after to-morrow, and get the trousseau in Paris. She has a turn for startling. I can imagine that if I proposed a run for it she would be readier to spring to be on the road with me than in acquiescing in a quiet arrangement about a ceremonial day; partly because, in the first case, she would throw herself and the rest of the adventure on me, at no other cost than the enjoyment of one of her impulses; and in the second, because she is a girl who would require a full band of the best Berlin orchestra in perpetual play to keep up her spirits among her people during the preparations for espousing a democrat, demagogue, and Jew, of a presumed inferior station by birth to her own. Give Momus a sister, Clotilde is the lady! I know her. I would undertake to put a spell on her and keep her contented on a frontier--not Russian, any barbarous frontier where there is a sun. She must have sun. One might wrap her in sables, but sun is best. She loves it best, though she looks remarkably well in sables. Never shall I forget... she is frileuse, and shivers into them! There are Frenchmen who could paint it--only Frenchmen. Our artists, no. She is very French.
Born in France she would have been a matchless Parisienne. Oh! she"s a riddle of course. I don"t pretend to spell every letter of her. The returning of my presents is odd. No, I maintain that she is a coward acting under domination, and there"s no other way of explaining the puzzle. I was out of sight, they bullied her, and she yielded--bewilderingly, past comprehension it seems--cat!--until you remember what she"s made of: she"s a reed. Now I reappear armed with powers to give her a free course, and she, that abject whom you beheld recently renouncing me, is, you will see, the young Aurora she was when she came striking at my door on the upper Alp. That was a morning! That morning is Clotilde till my eyes turn over! She is all young heaven and the mountains for me! She"s the filmy light above the mountains that weds white snow and sky. By the way, I dreamt last night she was half a woman, half a tree, and her hair was like a dead yewbough, which is as you know of a brown burnt-out colour, suitable to the popular conception of widows. She stood, and whatever turning you took, you struck back on her. Whether my widow, I can"t say: she must first be my wife. Oh, for tomorrow!"
"What sort of evening is it?" said the baroness.
"A Mont Blanc evening: I saw him as I came along," Alvan replied, and seized his hat to be out to look on the sovereign mountain again. They touched hands. He promised to call in the forenoon next day.
"Be cool," she counselled him.
"Oh!" He flung back his head, making light of the crisis. "After all, it"s only a girl. But, you know, what I set myself to win!... The thing"s too small--I have been at such pains about it that I should be ridiculous if I allowed myself to be beaten. There is no other reason for the trouble we "re at, except that, as I have said a thousand times, she suits me. No man can be cooler than I."
"Keep so," said the baroness.
He walked to where the strenuous blue lake, finding outlet, propels a shoulder, like a bright-muscled athlete in action, and makes the Rhone-stream. There he stood for an hour, disfevered by the limpid liquid tumult, inspirited by the glancing volumes of a force that knows no abatement, and is the skiey Alps behind, the great historic citied plains ahead.
His meditation ended with a resolution half in the form of a prayer (to mixed deities undefined) never to ask for a small thing any more if this one were granted him!
He had won it, of course, having brought all his powers to bear on the task; and he rejoiced in winning it: his heart leapt, his imagination spun radiant webs of colour: but he was a little ashamed of his frenzies, though he did not distinctly recall them; he fancied he had made some noise, loud or not, because his intentions were so pure that it was infamous to thwart them. At a certain age honest men made sacrifice of their liberty to society, and he had been ready to perform the duty of husbanding a woman. A man should have a wife and rear children, not to be forgotten in the land, and to help mankind by transmitting to future times qualities he has proved priceless: he thought of the children, and yearned to the generations of men physically and morally through them.
This was his apology to the world for his distantly-recollected excesses of temper.
Was she so small a thing? Not if she succ.u.mbed. She was petty, vexatious, irritating, stinging, while she resisted: she cast an evil beam on his reputation, strength and knowledge of himself, and roused the giants of his nature to discharge missiles at her, justified as they were by his pure intentions and the approbation of society. But he had a broad full heart for the woman who would come to him, forgiving her, uplifting her, richly endowing her. No meanness of heart was in him. He lay down at night thinking of Clotilde in an abandonment of tenderness.
"Tomorrow! you bird of to-morrow!" he let fly his good-night to her.
CHAPTER XV
He slept. Near upon morning he roused with his tender fit strong on him, but speechless in the waking as it had been dreamless in sleep. It was a happy load on his breast, a life about to be born, and he thought that a wife beside him would give it language. She should have, for she would call out, his thousand flitting ideas now dropped on barren ground for want of her fair bosom to inspire, to vivify, to receive. Poetry laid a hand on him: his desire of the wife, the children, the citizen"s good name--of these our simple civilized ambitions--was lowly of the earth, throbbing of earth, and at the same time magnified beyond scope of speech in vast images and emblems resembling ranges of Olympian cloud round the blue above earth, all to be decipherable, all utterable, when she was by. What commoner word!--yet wife seemed to him the word most reverberating of the secret sought after by man, fullest at once of fruit and of mystery, or of that light in the heart of mystery which makes it magically fruitful.
He felt the presence of Clotilde behind the word; but in truth the delicate sensations breeding these half-thoughts of his, as he lay between sleeping and waking, shrank from conjuring up the face of the woman who had wounded them, and a certain instinct to preserve and be sure of his present breathing-s.p.a.ce of luxurious tranquillity kept her veiled. Soon he would see her as his wife, and then she would be she, unveiled ravishingly, the only she, the only wife! He knew the cloud he clasped for Clotilde enough to be at pains to shun a possible prospect of his execrating it. Oh, the only she, the only wife! the wild man"s reclaimer! the sweet abundant valley and channel of his river of existence henceforward! Doubting her in the slightest was doubting her human. It is the brain, the satanic brain which will ever be pressing to cast its shadows: the heart is clearer and truer.
He multiplied images, projected visions, nestled in his throbs to drug and dance his brain. He s.n.a.t.c.hed at the beauty of a day that outrolled the whole Alpine hand-in-hand of radiant heaven-climbers for an a.s.surance of predestined celestial beneficence; and again, shadowily thoughtful of the littleness of the thing he exalted and claimed, he staked his reason on the positive blessing to come to him before nightfall, telling himself calmly that he did so because there would be madness in expecting it otherwise: he asked for so little! Since he asked for so little, to suppose that it would not be granted was irrational. None but a very coward could hesitate to stake his all on the issue.
Singularly small indeed the other aims in life appeared by comparison with this one, but his intellect, in the act of pleading excuses for his impatience, distinguished why it should be so. The crust, which is not much, is everything to the starving beggar; and he was eager for the crust that he might become sound and whole again, able to give their just proportion to things, as at present he acknowledged himself hardly able to do. He could not pursue two thoughts on a political question, or grasp the idea of a salutary energy in the hosts animated by his leadership. There would have to be an end of it speedily, else men might name him worthless dog!
Morning swam on the lake in her beautiful nakedness, a wedding of white and blue, of purest white and bluest blue. Alvan crossed the island bridges when the sun had sprung on his shivering fair prey, to make the young fresh Morning rosy, and was glittering along the smooth lake-waters. Workmen only were abroad, and Alvan was glad to be out with them to feel with them as one of them. Close beside him the vivid genius of the preceding century, whose love of workmen was a salt of heaven in his human corruptness, looked down on the lake in marble. Alvan cherished a worship of him as of one that had first thrilled him with the feeling of our common humanity, with the tenderness for the poor, with the knowledge of our frailty. Him, as well as the great Englishman and a Frenchman, his mind called Father, and his conscience replied to that progenitor"s questioning of him, but said "You know the love of woman: He loved indeed, but he was not an amatory trifler. He too was a worker, a champion worker. He doated on the prospect of plunging into his work; the vision of jolly giant labours told of peace obtained, and there could be no peace without his prize.
He listened to the workmen"s foot-falls. The solitary sound and steady motion of their feet were eloquent of early morning in a city, not less than the changes of light in heaven above the roofs. With the golden light came numbers, workmen still. Their tread on the stones roused some of his working thoughts, like an old tune in his head, and he watched the scattered files pa.s.sing on, disciplined by their daily necessities, easily manageable if their necessities are but justly considered. These numbers are the brute force of earth, which must have the earth in time, as they had it in the dawn of our world, and then they entered into bondage for not knowing how to use it. They will have it again: they have it partially, at times, in the despot, who is only the reflex of their brute force, and can give them only a shadow of their claim. They will have it all, when they have illumination to see and trust to the leadership of a greater force than they--in force of brain, in the spiritual force of ideas; ideas founded on justice; and not the justice of these days of the governing few whose wits are bent to steady our column of civilized humanity by a combination of props and jugglers"
arts, but a justice coming of the recognized needs of majorities, which will base the column on a broad plinth for safety-broad as the base of yonder mountain"s towering white immensity--and will be the guarantee for the solid uplifting of our civilization at last. "Right, thou!" he apostrophized--the old Ironer, at a point of his meditation. "And right, thou! more largely right!" he thought, further advanced in it, of the great Giuseppe, the Genoese. "And right am I too, between that metal-rail of a politician and the deep dreamer, each of them incomplete for want of an element of the other!" Practically and in vision right was Alvan, for those two opposites met fusing in him: like the former, he counted on the supremacy of might; like the latter, he distinguished where it lay in perpetuity.
During his younger years he had been like neither in the moral curb they could put on themselves--particularly the southern-blooded man. He had resembled the naturally impatient northerner most, though not so supple for business as he. But now he possessed the calmness of the Genoese; he had strong self-command now; he had the principle that life is too short for the indulgence of public fretfulness or of private quarrels; too valuable for fruitless risks; too sacred, one may say, for the shedding of blood on personal grounds. Oh! he had himself well under, fear not.
He could give and take from opposition. And rightly so, seeing that he confessed to his own bent for sarcastically stinging: he was therefore bound to endure a retort. Speech for speech, pamphlet for pamphlet, he could be temperate. Nay, he defied an adversary to produce in him the sensation of intemperateness; so there would not be much danger of his being excited to betray it. Shadowily he thought of the hard words hurled at him by the Rudigers, and of the injury Clotilde"s father did him by plotting to rob him of his daughter. But how had an Alvan replied?--with the arts of peaceful fence victoriously. He conceived of no temptation to his repressed irascibility save the political. A day might come for him and the vehement old Ironer to try their mettle in a tussle. On that day he would have to be wary, but, as Alvan felt a.s.sured, he would be more master of himself than his antagonist. He was for the young world, in the brain of a new order of things; the other based his unbending system on the visions of a feudal chief, and would win a great step perchance, but there he would stop: he was not with the future!
This immediate prospect of a return to serenity after his recent charioteering, had set him thinking of himself and his days to come, which hung before him in a golden haze that was tranquillizing. He had a name, he had a station: he wanted power and he saw it approaching.
He wanted a wife too. Colonel von Tresten took coffee with him previous to the start with Dr. Storchel to General von Rudiger"s house. Alvan consequently was unable any longer to think of a wife in the abstract.
He wanted Clotilde. Here was a man going straight to her, going to see her, positively to see her and hear her voice!--almost instantly to hear her voice, and see her eyes and hair, touch her hand. Oh! and rally her, rouse her wit; and be able to tell him the flower she wore for the day, and where she wore it--at her temples, or sliding to the back hair, or in her bosom, or at her waist! She had innumerable tricks of indication in these shifty pretty ways of hers, and was full of varying speech to the cunning reader of her.
"But keep her to seriousness," Alvan said. "Our meeting must be early to-day--early in the afternoon. She is not unlikely to pretend to trifle. She has not seen me for some time, and will probably enough play at emanc.i.p.ation and speak of the "singular impatience of the seigneur Alvan." Don"t you hear her? I swear to those very words! She "loves her liberty," and she curves her fan and taps her foot. "The seigneur Alvan appears pressed for time:" She has "letters to write to friends to-day."
Stop that! I can"t join in play: to-morrow, if she likes; not to-day.
Or not till I have her by the hand. She shall be elf and fairy, French coquette, whatever she pleases to-morrow, and I"ll be satisfied. All I beg is for plain dealing on a business matter. This is a business matter, a business meeting. I thoroughly know the girl"s heart, and know that in winning the interview I win her. Only"--he pressed his friend"s arm--"but, my dear Tresten, you understand. You"re a luckier fellow than I--for the time, at all events. Make it as short as you can. You"ll find me here. I shall take a book--one of the Pandects. I don"t suppose I shall work. I feel idle. Any book handy; anything will interest me. I should walk or row on the lake, but I would rather be sure of readiness for your return. You meet Storchel at the General"s house?"
"The appointment was at the house," Tresten said.
"I have not seen him this morning. I know of nothing to prepare him for.
You see, it was invariable with her: as soon as she met me she had twice her spirit: and that she knows;--she was a new woman, ten times the happier for having some grains of my courage. So she"ll be glad to come to terms and have me by to support her. Press it, if necessary; otherwise she might be disappointed, my dear fellow. Storchel looks on, and observes, and that "s about all he can do, or need do. Up Mont Blanc to-day, Tresten! It"s the very day for an ascent:--one of the rare crystalline jewels coming in a Swiss August; we should see the kingdoms of the earth--and a Republic! But I could climb with all my heart in a snowstorm to-day. Andes on Himalayas! as high as you like. The Republic by the way, small enough in the ring of empires and monarchies, if you measure it geometrically! You remember the laugh at the exact elevation of Mount Olympus? But Zeus"s eagle sat on it, and top me Olympus, after you have imagined the eagle aloft there! after Homer, is the meaning.
That will be one of the lessons for our young Republicans--to teach them not to give themselves up to the embrace of dead materialism because, as they fancy, they have had to depend on material weapons for carving their way, and have had no help from other quarters. A suicidal delusion! The spiritual weapon has done most, and always does. They are sons of an idea. They deny their parentage when they scoff at idealism.
It"s a tendency we shall have to guard against; it leads back to the old order of things, if we do not trim our light. She is waiting for you!
Go. You will find me here. And don"t forget my instructions. Appoint for the afternoon--not late. Too near night will seem like Orpheus going below, and I hope to meet a living woman, not a ghost--ha! coloured like a lantern in a cavern, good Lord! Covered with lichen! Say three o"clock, not later. The reason is, I want to have it over early and be sure of what I am doing; I"m bothered by it; I shall have to make arrangements ... a thousand little matters... telegraph to Paris, I daresay; she"s fond of Paris, and I must learn who"s there to meet her.
Now start. I"ll walk a dozen steps with you. I think of her as if, since we parted, she had been sitting on a throne in Erebus, and must be ghastly. I had a dream of a dead tree that upset me. In fact, you see I must have it over. The whole affair makes me feel too young."
Tresten advised him to spend an hour with the baroness.
"I can"t; she makes me feel too old," said Alvan. "She talks. She listens, but I don"t want to speak. Dead silence!--let it be a dash of the pen till you return. As for these good people hurrying to their traffic, and tourists and loungers, they have a trick for killing time without hurting him. I wish I had. I try to smother a minute, and up the old fellow jumps quivering all over and threatening me body and soul.
They don"t appear as if they had news on their faces this morning. I"ve not seen a newspaper and won"t look at one. Here we separate. Be formal in mentioning me to her but be particularly civil. I know you have the right tone: she"s a critical puss. Days like these are the days for her to be out. There goes a parasol like one I "ve seen her carry. Stay--no!
Don"t forget my instructions. Paris for a time. It may be the Pyrenees.