"I know why you say that."
"It"s just what I"m explaining."
"I couldn"t have held out if I hadn"t been so sure of Miriam," said Mrs.
Rooth.
"Well, you needn"t hold out any longer."
"Don"t _you_ trust her?" asked Sherringham"s hostess.
"Trust her?"
"You don"t trust yourself. That"s why you were silent, why we might have thought you were dead, why we might have perished ourselves."
"I don"t think I understand you; I don"t know what you"re talking about," Peter returned. "But it doesn"t matter."
"Doesn"t it? Let yourself go. Why should you struggle?" the old woman agreeably inquired.
Her unexpected insistence annoyed her visitor, and he was silent again, meeting her eyes with reserve and on the point of telling her that he didn"t like her tone. But he had his tongue under such control that he was able presently to say instead of this--and it was a relief to him to give audible voice to the reflexion--"It"s a great mistake, either way, for a man to be in love with an actress. Either it means nothing serious, and what"s the use of that? or it means everything, and that"s still more delusive."
"Delusive?"
"Idle, unprofitable."
"Surely a pure affection is its own beautiful reward," Mrs. Rooth pleaded with soft reasonableness.
"In such a case how can it be pure?"
"I thought you were talking of an English gentleman," she replied.
"Call the poor fellow whatever you like: a man with his life to lead, his way to make, his work, his duties, his career to attend to. If it means nothing, as I say, the thing it means least of all is marriage."
"Oh my own Miriam!" Mrs. Rooth wailed.
"Fancy, on the other hand, the complication when such a man marries a woman who"s on the stage."
Mrs. Rooth looked as if she were trying to follow. "Miriam isn"t on the stage yet."
"Go to London and she soon will be."
"Yes, and then you"ll have your excuse."
"My excuse?"
"For deserting us altogether."
He broke into laughter at this, the logic was so droll. Then he went on: "Show me some good acting and I won"t desert you."
"Good acting? Ah what"s the best acting compared with the position of a true English lady? If you"ll take her as she is you may have her," Mrs.
Rooth suddenly added.
"As she is, with all her ambitions una.s.suaged?"
"To marry _you_--might not that be an ambition?"
"A very paltry one. Don"t answer for her, don"t attempt that," said Peter. "You can do much better."
"Do you think _you_ can?" smiled Mrs. Rooth.
"I don"t want to; I only want to let it alone. She"s an artist; you must give her her head," the young man pursued. "You must always give an artist his head."
"But I"ve known great ladies who were artists. In English society there"s always a field."
"Don"t talk to me of English society! Thank goodness, in the first place, I don"t live in it. Do you want her to give up her genius?" he demanded.
"I thought you didn"t care for it."
"She"d say, "No I thank you, dear mamma.""
"My wonderful child!" Mrs. Rooth almost comprehendingly murmured.
"Have you ever proposed it to her?"
"Proposed it?"
"That she should give up trying."
Mrs. Rooth hesitated, looking down. "Not for the reason you mean. We don"t talk about love," she simpered.
"Then it"s so much less time wasted. Don"t stretch out your hand to the worse when it may some day grasp the better," Peter continued. Mrs.
Rooth raised her eyes at him as if recognising the force there might be in that, and he added: "Let her blaze out, let her look about her. Then you may talk to me if you like."
"It"s very puzzling!" the old woman artlessly sighed.
He laughed again and then said: "Now don"t tell me I"m not a good friend."
"You are indeed--you"re a very n.o.ble gentleman. That"s just why a quiet life with you----"
"It wouldn"t be quiet for _me_!" he broke in. "And that"s not what Miriam was made for."
"_Don"t say that_ for my precious one!" Mrs. Rooth quavered.
"Go to London--go to London," her visitor repeated.
Thoughtfully, after an instant, she extended her hand and took from the table the letter on the composition of which he had found her engaged.
Then with a quick movement she tore it up. "That"s what Mr. Dashwood says."
"Mr. Dashwood?"