He had heard the door open softly behind him and Mrs. Lendon come forward with precautions. "What has he done--what has he done?" quavered Mr. Carteret to his sister. She, however, after a glance at the patient, motioned their young friend away and, bending over the bed, replied, in a voice expressive at that moment of an ample provision of vital comfort:
"He has only excited you, I"m afraid, a little more than is good for you. Isn"t your dear old head a little too high?" Nick regarded himself as justly banished, and he quitted the room with a ready acquiescence in any power to carry on the scene of which Mrs. Lendon might find herself possessed. He felt distinctly brutal as he heard his host emit a weak exhalation of a.s.sent to some change of position. But he would have reproached himself more if he had wished less to guard against the acceptance of an equivalent for duties unperformed. Mr. Carteret had had in his mind, characteristically, the idea of a fine high contract, and there was something more to be said about that.
Nick went out of the house and stayed away for two or three hours, quite ready to regard the place as quieter and safer without him. He haunted the abbey as usual and sat a long time in its simplifying stillness, turning over many things. He came back again at the luncheon-hour, through the garden, and heard, somewhat to his surprise and greatly to his relief, that his host had composed himself promptly enough after their agitating interview. Mrs. Lendon talked at luncheon much as if she expected her brother to be, as she said, really quite fit again. She asked Nick no awkward question; which was uncommonly good of her, he thought, considering that she might have said, "What in the world were you trying to get out of him?" She only reported to our young man that the invalid had every hope of a short interview about half-past seven, a _very_ short one: this gentle emphasis was Mrs. Lendon"s single tribute to the critical spirit. Nick divined that Mr. Carteret"s desire for further explanations was really strong and had been capable of sustaining him through a bad morning, capable even of helping him--it would have been a secret and wonderful momentary conquest of weakness--to pa.s.s it off for a good one. He wished he might make a sketch of him, from the life, as he had seen him after breakfast; he had a conviction he could make a strong one, which would be a precious memento. But he shrank from proposing this--the dear man might think it unparliamentary. The doctor had called while Nick was out, and he came again at five o"clock without that inmate"s seeing him. The latter was busy in his room at that hour: he wrote a short letter which took him a long time. But apparently there had been no veto on a resumption of talk, for at half-past seven his friend sent for him. The nurse at the door said, "Only a moment, I hope, sir?" but took him in and then withdrew.
The prolonged daylight was in the room and its occupant again established on his pile of pillows, but with his head a little lower.
Nick sat down by him and expressed the hope of not having upset him in the morning; but the old man, with fixed, enlarged eyes, took up their conversation exactly where they had left it. "What have you done--what have you done? Have you a.s.sociated yourself with some other woman?"
"No, no; I don"t think she can accuse me of that."
"Well then she"ll come back to you if you take the right way with her."
It might have been droll to hear the poor gentleman, in his situation, give his views on the right way with women; but Nick was not moved to enjoy that diversion. "I"ve taken the wrong way. I"ve done something that must spoil my prospects in that direction for ever. I"ve written a letter," the visitor went on; but his companion had already interrupted him.
"You"ve written a letter?"
"To my const.i.tuents, informing them of my determination to resign my seat."
"To resign your seat?"
"I"ve made up my mind, after no end of reflexion, dear Mr. Carteret, to work on quite other lines. I"ve a plan of becoming a painter. So I"ve given up the idea of a political life."
"A painter?" Mr. Carteret seemed to turn whiter. "I"m going in for the portrait in oils. It sounds absurd, I know, and I"m thus specific only to show you I don"t in the least expect you to count on me." The invalid had continued to stare at first; then his eyes slowly closed and he lay motionless and blank. "Don"t let it trouble you now; it"s a long story and rather a poor one; when you get better I"ll tell you all about it.
Well talk it over amicably and I"ll bring you to my view," Nick went on hypocritically. He had laid his hand again on the hand beside him; it felt cold, and as the old man remained silent he had a moment of exaggerated fear.
"This is dreadful news"--and Mr. Carteret opened his eyes.
"Certainly it must seem so to you, for I"ve always kept from you--I was ashamed, and my present confusion is a just chastis.e.m.e.nt--the great interest I have always taken in the----!" But Nick broke down with a gasp, to add presently, with an intention of the pleasant and a sense of the foolish: "In the pencil and the brush." He spoke of his current confusion, though his manner might have been thought to show it but little. He was himself surprised at his brazen a.s.surance and had to recognise that at the point things had come to now he was profoundly obstinate and quiet.
"The pencil--the brush? They"re not the weapons of a gentleman," Mr.
Carteret p.r.o.nounced.
"I was sure that would be your feeling. I repeat that I mention them only because you once said you intended to do something for me, as the phrase is, and I thought you oughtn"t to do it in ignorance."
"My ignorance was better. Such knowledge isn"t good for me."
"Forgive me, my dear old friend," Nick kept it bravely up. "When you"re better you"ll see it differently."
"I shall never be better now."
"Ah no," Nick insisted; "it will really do you good after a little.
Think it over quietly and you"ll be glad I"ve stopped humbugging."
"I loved you--I loved you as my son," the old man wailed.
He sank on his knee beside the bed and leaned over him tenderly. "Get better, get better, and I"ll be your son for the rest of your life."
"Poor Dormer--poor Dormer!" Mr. Carteret continued to lament.
"I admit that if he had lived I probably shouldn"t have done it," said Nick. "I daresay I should have deferred to his prejudices even though thinking them narrow."
"Do you turn against your father?" his host asked, making, to disengage his arm from the young man"s touch, an effort betraying the irritation of conscious weakness. Nick got up at this and stood a moment looking down at him while he went on: "Do you give up your name, do you give up your country?"
"If I do something good my country may like it." Nick spoke as if he had thought that out.
"Do you regard them as equal, the two glories?"
"Here comes your nurse to blow me up and turn me out," said Nick.
The nurse had come in, but Mr. Carteret directed to her an audible dry, courteous "Be so good as to wait till I send for you," which arrested her in the large room at some distance from the bed and then had the effect of making her turn on her heel with a professional laugh. She clearly judged that an old gentleman with the fine manner of his prime might still be trusted to take care of himself. When she had gone that personage addressed to his visitor the question for which his deep displeasure lent him strength. "Do you pretend there"s a n.o.bler life than a high political career?"
"I think the n.o.ble life"s doing one"s work well. One can do it very ill and be very base and mean in what you call a high political career. I haven"t been in the House so many months without finding that out. It contains some very small souls."
"You should stand against them--you should expose them!" stammered Mr.
Carteret.
"Stand against them, against one"s own party!"
The old man contended a moment with this and then broke out: "G.o.d forgive you, are you a Tory, are you a Tory?"
"How little you understand me!" laughed Nick with a ring of bitterness.
"Little enough--little enough, my boy. Have you sent your electors your dreadful letter?"
"Not yet; but it"s all ready and I shan"t change my mind."
"You will--you will. You"ll think better of it. You"ll see your duty,"
said the invalid almost coaxingly.
"That seems very improbable, for my determination, crudely and abruptly as, to my great regret, it comes to you here, is the fruit of a long and painful struggle. The difficulty is that I see my duty just in this other effort."
"An effort? Do you call it an effort to fall away, to sink far down, to give up every effort? What does your mother say, heaven help her?" Mr.
Carteret went on before Nick could answer the other question.
"I haven"t told her yet."
"You"re ashamed, you"re ashamed!" Nick only looked out of the west window now--he felt his ears turn hot. "Tell her it would have been sixty thousand. I had the money all ready."
"I shan"t tell her that," said Nick, redder still.
"Poor woman--poor dear woman!" Mr. Carteret woefully cried.
"Yes indeed--she won"t like it."
"Think it all over again; don"t throw away a splendid future!" These words were uttered with a final flicker of pa.s.sion--Nick had never heard such an accent on his old friend"s lips. But he next began to murmur, "I"m tired--I"m very tired," and sank back with a groan and with closed lips. His guest gently a.s.sured him that he had but too much cause to be exhausted and that the worst was over now. He smoothed his pillows for him and said he must leave him, would send in the nurse. "Come back, come back," Mr. Carteret pleaded against that; "come back and tell me it"s a horrible dream."
Nick did go back very late that evening; his host had sent a message to his room. But one of the nurses was on the ground this time and made good her opposition watch in hand. The sick-room was shrouded and darkened; the shaded candle left the bed in gloom. Nick"s interview with his venerable friend was the affair of but a moment; the nurse interposed, impatient and not understanding. She heard Nick say that he had posted his letter now and their companion flash out with an acerbity still savouring of the sordid a.s.sociations of a world he had not done with: "Then of course my settlement doesn"t take effect!"
"Oh that"s all right," Nick answered kindly; and he went off next morning by the early train--his injured host was still sleeping. Mrs.