HYP. Maud, why _will_ you be so headstrong! (_In a rapid whisper._) Can"t you see ... can"t you _guess_?...
MAUD. I guess I want to make sure Mr. Culchard isn"t that kind of magnanimous man himself. I shouldn"t want him to renounce _me_!
HYP. Maud! You might at _least_ wait until Mr. Culchard has----
MAUD. Oh, but he _did_--weeks ago, at Bingen. And at Lugano, too, the other day, he spoke out tolerable plain. I guess he didn"t wish any secret made about it--_did_ you, Mr. Culchard?
CULCH. I--ah--this conversation is rather.... If you"ll excuse me---- [_Escapes with as much dignity as he can command._
MAUD. Well, my dear,--that"s the sort of self-denying hairpin _he_ is!
What do you think of him _now_?
HYP. I do not think so highly of him, I confess. His renunciation was evidently less prompted by consideration for his friend than by a recollection--tardy enough, I am afraid--of the duty which bound him to _you_, dearest. But if you had seen and heard him, as I did, you would not have doubted the _reality_ of the sacrifice, whatever the true reason may have been. For myself, I am conscious of neither anger nor sorrow--my heart, as I told you, was never really affected. But what must it be to _you_, darling!
MAUD. Well, I believe I"m more amused than anything.
HYP. Amused! But surely you don"t mean to have anything more to do with him?
MAUD. My dear girl, I intend to have considerable more to do with him before I"m through. He"s under vow for _me_ now, anyway, and I don"t mean he should forget it, either. He"s my monkey, and he"s got to jump around pretty lively, at the end of a tolerable short chain, too. And I guess, if it comes to renouncing, all the magnanimity"s going to be on _my_ side this time!
IN AN AVENUE.
CULCH. (_to himself, as he walks hurriedly on_). I only just saved myself in time. I don"t _think_ Maud noticed anything--she couldn"t have been so innocent and indifferent if she had.... And Hypatia won"t enlighten her any further now--after what she knows. It"s rather a relief that she _does_ know.... She took it very well, poor girl--_very_ well. I expect she is really beginning to put up with Podbury--I"m sure I _hope_ so, sincerely!
CHAPTER XVII.
Culchard cannot be "Happy with Either."
SCENE--_Under the Colonnade of the Hotel Grande Bretagne, Bellagio._ CULCHARD _is sitting by one of the pillars, engaged in constructing a sonnet. On a neighbouring seat a group of smart people are talking over their acquaintances, and near them is another visitor, a_ MR. CRAWLEY STRUTT, _who is watching his opportunity to strike into the conversation._
MRS. HURLINGHAM. Well, she"ll _be_ Lady Chesepare some day, when anything happens to the old Earl. He was looking quite ghastly when we were down at Skympings last. But they"re frightfully badly off _now_, poor dears! Lady Driblett lets them have her house in Park Lane for parties and that--but it"s wonderful how they live at all!
COLONEL SANDOWN. He looked pretty fit at the Rag the other day. Come across the Senlacs anywhere? Thought Lady Senlac was going abroad this year.
MR. CRAWLEY STRUTT. Hem--I saw it mentioned in the _Penny Patrician_ that her Ladyship had----
MRS. HURL. (_without taking the slightest notice of him_). She"s just been marryin" her daughter, you know--rather a good match, too. Not what I call pretty,--smart-lookin", that"s all. But then her _sister_ wasn"t pretty till she married.
COL. SAND. Nice family she married into! Met her father-in-law, old Lord Bletherham, the other morning, at a chemist"s in Piccadilly--he"d dropped in there for a pick-me-up; and there he was, tellin" the chemist all the troubles he"d had with his other sons marryin" the way they did, and that. Rum man to go and confide in his chemist, but he"s like that--fond of the vine!
MR. C. S. Er--her--it"s becoming a very serious thing, Sir, the way our aristocracy is deteriorating, is it not?
[Ill.u.s.tration: "I DON"T KNOW IF YOU"RE ACQUAINTED WITH A PAPER CALLED THE "PENNY PATRICIAN"?"]
COL. S. Is it? What have they been up to now, eh? Haven"t seen a paper for days.
MR. C. S. I mean these mixed marriages, and, well, their general goings on. I don"t know if you"re acquainted with a paper called the _Penny Patrician_? I take it in regularly, and I a.s.sure _you_--loyal supporter of our old hereditary inst.i.tutions as I am--some of the revelations I read about in high life make me blush--yes, downright _blush_ for them!
[MRS. HURLINGHAM _retires_.
COL. S. Do they, though? If I were you I should let "em do their own blushin", and save my pennies.
MR. C. S. (_deferentially_). No doubt you"re right, Sir, but I _like_ the _Patrician_ myself--it"s very smartly written. Talking of that, do you happen to know the ins and outs of that marriage of young Lord Goslington"s? Something very mysterious about the party he"s going to marry--who _are_ her people now?
COL. S. Can"t say, I"m sure--no business of mine, you know.
MR. C. S. There I venture to think you"re wrong, Sir. It"s the business of everybody--the _duty_, I may say--to see that the best blood of the nation is not----(COL. S. _turns into the hotel_; MR. C. S. _sits down near_ CULCH.)--Remarkably superior set of visitors staying here, Sir! My chief objection to travel always is, that it brings you in contact with parties you wouldn"t think of a.s.sociating with at home. I was making that same remark to a very pleasant little fellow I met on the steamer--er--Lord Uppersole, I think it was--and he entirely concurred.
Your friend made us acquainted.--(PODBURY _comes out of the hotel_.)--Ah, here _is_ your friend,--(_To_ PODB.)--Seen his Lordship about lately, Sir?--Lord Uppersole I _mean_, of course!
PODB. Uppersole? No--he"s over at Cadenabbia, I believe.
MR. C. S. A highly agreeable spot to stay at. Indeed, I"ve some idea myself of----Exceedingly pleasant person his Lordship--so affable, so completely the gentleman!
PODB. Oh, he"s affable enough--for a boot-maker. I always give him a t.i.tle when I see him, for the joke of the thing--he likes it.
MR. C. S. _He_ may, Sir. I consider a t.i.tle is not a thing to be treated in that light manner. It--it was an unpardonable liberty to force me into the society of that cla.s.s of person--unpardonable, Sir!
[_He goes._
PODB. Didn"t take much _forcing_, after he once heard me call him "Lord Uppersole"! Where are all the others, eh? Thought we were going up to the Villa Serbelloni this afternoon.
CULCH. I--er--have not been consulted. Are they--er--_all_ going?
[_With a shade of anxiety._
PODB. I believe so. You needn"t be afraid, you know. Hypatia won"t have the chance of ragging you now--she and Miss Trotter have had a bit of a breeze.
CULCH. I rather gathered as much. I think I could guess the----
PODB. Yes, Hypatia"s rather uneasy about poor old Bob; thinks Miss Trotter is--well, carrying on, you know. She is no end of a little flirt--_you_ know that well enough!--(C. _disclaims impatiently_.) Here you all are, eh?--(_To_ MISS P., MISS T., _and_ BOB.)--Well, who knows the way up to the villa?
MISS T. It"s through the town, and up some steps by the church--you can"t miss it. But Mr. Prendergast is going to show me a short cut up behind the hotel--aren"t you, Mr. Prendergast?
MISS P. (_icily_). I really think, dear, it would be better if we all kept together--for so _many_ reasons!
CULCH. (_with alacrity_). I agree with Miss Prendergast. A short cut is invariably the most indirect route.
MISS P. (_with intention_). You hear what Mr. Culchard says, my dear Maud? He advocates direct ways, as best in the long run.
MISS T. It"s only going to be a short run, my love. But I"m vurry glad to observe that you and Mr. Culchard are so perfectly harmonious, as I"m leaving him on your hands for a spell. Aren"t you ever coming, Mr.
Prendergast? [_She leads him off, a not unwilling captive._
A PATH IN THE GROUNDS OF THE VILLA SERBELLONI.