MISS T. Inconvenienced! With haff a dozen healthy mosquitoes springing a surprise party on me all night! I should guess _so_. (_Noticing_ C."S _face_.) But what in the land have you been about? Well, if that isn"t real _tact_ now! I reckoned I"d been dealt a full hand in spots; but now I"ve seen you, I guess there"s a straight flush against me, and I can just throw up. But you don"t play Poker, _do_ you? Come along in, Poppa, do. [_She goes in with_ MR. T.
CULCH. (_alone, disenchanted_). I could _not_ have believed any amount of bites could have made such a terrible difference in her. She looks positively _plain_! I do trust they"re not _permanent_, or really----!
[_He gazes meditatively down on the lapping water._
CHAPTER XXI.
+Wearing Rue with a Difference.+
SCENE--_The Steps of the Hotel Dandolo, about_ 11 A.M. PODBURY _is looking expectantly down the Grand Ca.n.a.l_, CULCHARD _is leaning upon the Bal.u.s.trade_.
PODB. Yes, met Bob just now. They"ve gone to the Europa, but we"ve arranged to take a gondola together, and go about. They"re to pick me up here. Ah, that looks rather like them. (_A gondola approaches, with_ MISS PRENDERGAST _and_ BOB; PODBURY _goes down the steps to meet them_.) How are you, Miss Prendergast? Here I _am_, you see.
MISS P. (_ignoring_ C."S _salute_). How do you do, Mr. Podbury? Surely you don"t propose to go out in a gondola in _that_ hat!
PODB. (_taking off a brown "pot-hat," and inspecting it_). It--it"s quite _decent_. It was new when I came away!
BOB (_who is surly this morning_). Hang it all, Patia! Do you want him to come out in a chimney-pot? Jump in, old fellow, never mind your tile?
PODB. (_apologetically_). I had a straw once--but I sat on it. I"m awfully sorry, Miss Prendergast. Look here, shall I go and see if I can buy one?
MISS P. Not now--it doesn"t signify, for once. But a round hat and a gondola are really _too_ incongruous!
PODB. Are they? A lot of the Venetians seem to wear "em. (_He steps in._) Now what are we going to do--just potter about?
MISS P. One hardly comes to Venice to _potter_! I thought we"d go and study the Carpaccios at the Church of the Schiavoni first--they won"t take us more than an hour or so; then cross to San Giorgio Maggiore, and see the Tintorets, come back and get a general idea of the exterior of St. Mark"s, and spend the afternoon at the Accademia.
PODB. (_with a slight absence of heartiness_). Capital! And--er--lunch at the Academy, I suppose?
MISS P. There does not happen to be a restaurant there--we shall see what time we have. I must say _I_ regard every minute of daylight spent on food here as a sinful waste.
BOB. Now just look here, Patia, if you _are_ bossing this show, you needn"t go cutting us off our grub! What do _you_ say, Jem?
PODB. (_desperately anxious to please_). Oh, I don"t know that I care about lunch myself--much. [_Their voices die away on the water._
CULCH. (_musing_). She might have _bowed_ to me!... _She_ has escaped the mosquitoes.... Ah, well, I doubt if she"ll find those two particularly sympathetic companions! Now I _should_ enjoy a day spent in that way. Why shouldn"t I, as it is? I dare say Maud will----
[_Turns and sees_ MR. TROTTER.
MR. T. My darter will be along presently. She"s Cologning her cheeks--they"ve swelled up again some. I guess you want to Cologne _your_ cheeks--they"re dreadful lumpy. I"ve just been on the Pi-azza again, Sir. It"s curious now the want of enterprise in these Vernetians.
Any one would have expected they"d have thrown a couple or so of girder bridges across the ca.n.a.l between this and the Ri-alto, and run an elevator up the Campanile--but this ain"t what you might call a _business_ city, Sir, and that"s a fact. (_To_ MISS T. _as she appears_.) h.e.l.lo, Maud, the ice-water cool down your face any?
MISS T. Not _much_. My face just made that ice-water boil over. I don"t believe I"ll ever have a complexion again--it"s divided up among several dozen mosquitoes, who"ve no use for one. But it"s vurry consoling to look at _you_, Mr. Culchard, and feel there"s a pair of us. Now what way do you propose we should endeavour to forget our sufferings?
CULCH. Well, we might spend the morning in St. Mark"s----?
MISS T. The morning! Why, Poppa and I saw the entire show inside of ten minutes, before breakfast!
CULCH. Ah! (_Discouraged._) What do you say to studying the Vine and Fig-tree angles and the capitals of the arcades in the Ducal Palaces? I will go and fetch the _Stones of Venice_.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "I GUESS YOU WANT TO COLOGNE _YOUR_ CHEEKS--THEY"RE DREADFUL LUMPY."]
MISS T. I GUESS YOU CAN LEAVE THOSE OLD STONES IN PEACE. I DON"T FEEL LIKE STUDYING UP ANYTHING THIS MORNING--IT"S AS MUCH AS EVER I CAN DO NOT TO SCREAM ALOUD!
CULCH. Then shall we just drift about in a gondola all the morning, and--er--perhaps do the Academy later?
MISS T. Not any ca.n.a.ls in this hot sun for me! I"d be just as _sick_!
That gondola will keep till it"s cooler.
CULCH. (_losing patience_). Then I must really leave it to you to make a suggestion!
MISS T. Well, I believe I"ll have a good look round the curiosity stores. There"s ever such a cunning little shop back of the Clock Tower on the Pi-azza, where I saw some brocades that were just too sweet! So I"ll take Poppa along bargain-hunting. Don"t _you_ come if you"d rather poke around your old churches and things!
CULCH. I don"t feel disposed to--er--"poke around" alone, so, if you will allow me to accompany you,----
MISS T. Oh, I"ll allow you to escort me. It"s handy having some one around to carry parcels. And Poppa"s bound to drop the balance every time!
CULCH. (_to himself_). That"s all I am to her. A beast of burden! And a whole precious morning squandered on this confounded shopping--when I might have been--ah, well! [_Follows, under protest._
_On the Grand Ca.n.a.l._ 9 P.M. _A brilliant moonlight night; a music-barge, hung with coloured lanterns, is moving slowly up towards the Rialto, surrounded and followed by a fleet of gondolas, amongst which is one containing the_ TROTTERS _and_ CULCHARD. CULCHARD _has just discovered--with an embarra.s.sment not wholly devoid of a certain excitement--that they are drawing up to a gondola occupied by the_ PRENDERGASTS _and_ PODBURY.
MR. TROTTER (_meditatively_). It"s real romantic. That"s the third deceased kitten I"ve seen to-night. They haven"t only a two-foot tide in the Adriatic, and it stands to reason all the sewage----
[_The two gondolas are jammed close alongside._
MISS P. How absolutely magical those palaces look in the moonlight! Bob, how _can_ you yawn like that?
BOB. I beg your pardon, Patia, really, but we"ve had rather a long day of it, you know!
MR. T. Well, now, I declare I sort of recognised those voices!
(_Heartily._) Why, how are _you_ getting along in Vernis? _We_"re gettin" along fust-rate. Say, Maud, here"s your friend alongside!
[MISS P. _presents a stony silence_.
MISS T. (_in an undertone_). I don"t see how you _can_ act so, Poppa,--when you know she"s just as _mad_ with me!
MR. T. There! Dumned if I didn"t clean forget you were out! But, see here, now--why cann"t we let bygones be bygones?
BOB. (_impulsively_). Just what _I_ think, Mr. Trotter, and I"m sure my sister will----
MISS P. Bob, will you kindly not make the situation more awkward than it is? If I desired a reconciliation, I think I am quite capable of saying so!
MISS T. (_in confidence to the Moon_). This Ark isn"t proposing to send out any old dove, either--we"ve no use for an olive-branch. (_To_ MR.
T.) That"s "_Santa Lucia_" they"re singing now, Poppa.