MISS T. I guess not. We"ve just got our mail, and my cousin, Charley Van Boodeler, writes he"s having a real lovely time in the Engadine--says it"s the most elegant locality he"s struck yet, and just as full of Amurrcans as it can hold; so we"re going to start out there right away.
I don"t believe we shall have time for Nuremberg this trip. Father, if we"re going to see about checking the baggage through, we"d better go down to the _depot_ right now. [_They pa.s.s on._
CULCH. (_with a very blank face and a feeble whistle_).
Few-fitty-fitty-fitty-fa-di-fee-fee-foo; few----After all, Podbury, I don"t know that I care so much about Nuremberg. They--they say it"s a good deal changed from what it was.
PODB. So are _you_, old chap, if it comes to that.
Tiddledy-iddlety-ido-lumpty-doodle-oo! Is it to be Constance after all, then?
CULCH. (_reddening_). Er--I rather thought of the Engadine--more _bracing_, eh?--few-feedle-eedle-oodle----
PODB. You artful old whistling oyster, _I_ see what you"re up to! But it"s no go; she don"t want either of us Engadining about after her. It"s Charley Van Stickinthemud"s turn now! We"ve got to go to Nuremberg. You can"t get out of it, after ga.s.sing so much about the place. When you"ve once decided, you know, it"s _final_!
CULCH. (_with dignity_). I am not aware that I _wanted_ to get out of it. I merely proposed in your----(PODBURY _suddenly explodes_.) What are you cackling at _now_?
PODB. (_wiping his eyes_). It"s the last laugh, old man,--and it"s the best!
[CULCHARD _walks away rapidly, leaving_ PODBURY _in solitary enjoyment of the joke._ PODBURY"S _mirth immediately subsides into gravity, and he kicks several unoffending chairs with quite uncalled-for brutality._
CHAPTER VII.
A Dissolution of Partnership.
SCENE--_A Second-Cla.s.s Compartment on the line between Wurzburg and Nuremberg._ PODBURY _has been dull and depressed all day, not having recovered from the parting with_ MISS TROTTER. CULCHARD, _on the contrary, is almost ostentatiously cheerful._ PODBURY _is intensely anxious to find out how far his spirits are genuine, but--partly from shyness, and partly because some of their fellow travellers have been English--he has hesitated to introduce the subject. At last, however, they are alone, and he is determined to have it out on the very first opportunity._
CULCHARD. Abominably slow train, this _Schnell-zug_. I hope we shall get to Nuremberg before it"s too dark to see the general effect.
PODBURY. We"re not likely to be in time for _table d"hote_--not that _I"m_ peckish. (_He sighs._) Wonder whereabouts the--the Trotters have got to by now, eh?
[_He feels he is getting red, and hums the Garden Scene from_ "_Faust_."
CULCH. (_indifferently_). Oh, let me see--just arriving at St. Moritz, I expect. Wonderful effect of colour, that is.
[_He indicates the West, where a bar of crimson is flaming between a belt of firs._
Podb. (_absently_). Oh, wonderful!--where? (_Hums a s.n.a.t.c.h of a waltz._) Dum-dum-diddle-um-tum-dum-dum-dum-ty-doodle; dum-dum--I say, _you_ don"t seem particularly cut up?
CULCH. Cut up? Why should I be cut up, my dear fellow?--about what?
[_Before_ PODBURY _can explain, two_ Talkative British Tourists _tumble up into the compartment, and he has to control his curiosity once more._
FIRST T. T. Well, I "ope we"re all right _now_, Sam, I"m sure--these German jokers have chivied us about enough for one journey! (_To_ CULCHARD.) Not in your way, this "at box, Sir? Don"t give yer much s.p.a.ce in these foreign trains. (_They settle down and the train starts._) Pretty bit o" country along "ere!--puts me in mind o" the best part o"
Box "Ill--and I can"t say more for it than _that_!
[Ill.u.s.tration: "PUTS ME IN MIND O" THE BEST PART O" BOX "ILL."]
SECOND T. T. (_a little man with a sandy fringe and boiled-looking eyes_). What I notice about the country abroad is they don"t seem to "ave no _landmarks_.
FIRST T. T. (_with a dash of friendly contempt_). What d"yer mean--no landmarks--_signposts_?
SECOND T. T. (_with dignity_). I mean to say, they don"t "ave nothing to indicate which is Jack"s property, and which is Joe"s.
FIRST T. T. Go on--they"ve as much as what _we_ "ave.
SECOND T. T. _"Ave_ they? We "ave fences and "edges. I don"t see none _"ere_. P"raps you"ll point me _out_ one?
FIRST T. T. There"s precious few "edges or fences in the Isle o" Thanet, as you"d know if you"ve ever been to Margit.
SECOND T. T. (_loftily_). I"m not talkin" about Margit now, I"m talkin"
of "ere, and I"ll trouble you to show me a landmark.
FIRST T. T. Depend on it they"ve their own ways of knowing which is "oo"s.
SECOND T. T. That"s not what I"m _sayin"_. I"m sayin" there ain"t nothin" to _indicate_ it. [_They argue the point at length._
PODB. (_to_ CULCHARD). Then you really aren"t cut up--about Miss T. you know?
CULCH. (_with the reserve of a man who only wants to be pressed_). There is no reason that I"m aware of, why I should be--but (_lowering his voice_) don"t you think we had better wait till we are alone to discuss that subject?
PODB. Oh, all right. I"m not partic--at least. Well, I"m glad you _aren"t_, you know, that"s all.
[_He becomes silent again--but his face brightens visibly._
FIRST T. T. (_to Second Do._). See that field there? That"s tobacco, _that_ is.
SECOND T. T. What they make their penny smokes of. (_The train enters a station._) What funny engines they do "ave "ere! I expect the guard "ll be wanting to see our _billyetts_ again next. It"s as bad as it used to be with the pa.s.sports. I"ve "eard--mind yer, I don"t know "ow much likeli"ood there is in the a.s.sertion--that they"re going to bring "em in again. Most intricate they were about them. (_To_ CULCHARD). Why, if you"ll believe me, a friend o" mine as "ad one--well, they got "is description down to a ioter? He"d a cast in "is eye,--they put it down, and a pimple you"d "ardly notice--but down _that_ went!
FIRST T. T. It"s no use "aving such things if they don"t do it thoroughly.
SECOND T. T. (_irrelevantly_). I wish I "adn"t "ad that gla.s.s o" peach wine where we changed last. (_A_ Guard _appears at the window, and makes some guttural comments on the couple"s tickets._) Wechseln? Why, that means _wash_, don"t it? I"m as clean as _him_, anyway. "Anshteigen,"--ah, I ought to know what _that_ means by this time! Sam, my boy, we"re bundled out again. I _told_ yer "ow it would be!
[_They tumble out, and the carriage is presently filled by an a.s.sortment of Germans, including a lively and sociable little Cripple with a new drinking-mug which he has just had filled with lager, and a Lady with pale hair and sentimental blue eyes._
PODB. We can talk all right _now_, eh? _They_ won"t understand. Look here, old fellow, I don"t mind owning _I"m_ rather down in the mouth about----you know what. I shouldn"t care so much if there was any chance of our coming across them again.
CULCH. (_cordially_). I am very glad to hear you say so. I was rather afraid you had taken a dislike--er--in that quarter.
PODB. I?--is it _likely_! I--I admire her awfully, you know, only she rather seemed to snub me lately.
CULCH. (_with patronising rea.s.surance_). Quite a mistake on your part, I a.s.sure you, my dear fellow. I am sure she will learn to appreciate you--er--fully when you meet again, which, I may tell you, will be at no very distant date. I happen to know that she will be at the Italian Lakes next month, and so shall we, if you let me manage this tour my own way.
PODB. (_with surprise and grat.i.tude_). I say, old boy, I"d no notion you were such a nailing good chap? Nein, danky. (_To the little Cripple, who is cheerily inviting him, in pantomime, to drink from his mug._ ) Cheeky little beggar. But do you really think anything will--er--come of it, if we do meet her again--_do_ you now?
CULCH. I--ah--have the best reasons for feeling tolerably certain of it.
[_He looks out of window and smiles._