XXIV
The young men had gone--Morton Ellis, who had said he was d.a.m.ned if he"d fight for his country; and Austin Mitch.e.l.l who had said he hadn"t got a country; and Monier-Owen, who had said that England was not a country you could fight for. George Wadham had gone long ago. That, Michael said, was to be expected. Even a weak gust could sweep young Wadham off his feet--and he had been fairly carried away. He could no more resist the vortex of the War than he could resist the vortex of the arts.
Michael had two pitiful memories of the boy: one of young Wadham swaggering into Stephen"s room in uniform (the first time he had it on), flushed and pleased with himself and talking excitedly about the "Great Game"; and one of young Wadham returned from the Front, mature and hard, not talking about the "Great Game" at all, and wincing palpably when other people talked; a young Wadham who, they said, ought to be arrested under the Defence of the Realm Act as a quencher of war-enthusiasms.
The others had gone later, one by one, each with his own gesture: Mitch.e.l.l and Monier-Owen when Stephen went; Ellis the day after Stephen"s death. It had taken Stephen"s death to draw him.
Only Michael remained.
He told them they were mistaken if they thought their going would inspire him to follow them. It, and Stephen"s death, merely intensified the bitterness he felt towards the War. He was more than ever determined to keep himself pure from it, consecrated to his Forlorn Hope. If they fell back, all the more reason why be should go on.
And, while he waited for the moment of vision, he continued Stephen"s work on the _Green Review_. Stephen had left it to him when he went out.
Michael tried to be faithful to the tradition he thus inherited; but gradually Stephen"s spirit disappeared from the _Review_ and its place was taken by the clear, hard, unbreakable thing that was Michael"s mind.
And Michael knew that he was beginning to make himself felt.
But Stephen"s staff, such as it was, and nearly all his contributors had gone to the War, one after another, and Michael found himself taking all their places. He began to feel a strain, which he took to be the strain of overwork, and he went down to Renton to recover.
That was on the Tuesday that followed Veronica"s Sunday.
He thought that down there he would get away from everything that did him harm: from his father"s and mother"s eyes; from his sister"s proud, cold face; and from his young brother"s smile; and from Veronica"s beauty that saddened him; and from the sense of Nicky"s danger that brooded as a secret obsession over the house. He would fill up the awful empty s.p.a.ce. He thought: "For a whole fortnight I shall get away from this infernal War."
But he did not get away from it. On every stage of the journey down he encountered soldiers going to the Front. He walked in the Park at Darlington between his trains, and wounded soldiers waited for him on every seat, shuffled towards him round every turning, hobbled after him on their crutches down every path. Their eyes looked at him with a shrewd hostility. He saw the young Yorkshire recruits drinking in the open s.p.a.ces. Sergeants" eyes caught and measured him, appraising his physique. Behind and among them he saw Drayton"s, and Reveillaud"s, and Stephen"s eyes; and young Wadham"s eyes, strange and secretive and hard.
At Reyburn Michael"s train was switched off to a side platform in the open. Before he left Darlington, a thin, light rain had begun to fall from a shred of blown cloud; and at Reyburn the burst ma.s.s was coming down. The place was full of the noise of rain. The drops tapped on the open platform and hissed as the wind drove them in a running stream.
They drummed loudly on the station roof. But these sounds went out suddenly, covered by the trampling of feet.
A band of Highlanders with their bagpipes marched into the station. They lined up solemnly along the open platform with their backs to Michael"s train and their faces to the naked rails on the other side. Higher up Michael could see the breast of an engine; it was backing, backing, towards the troop-train that waited under the cover of the roof. He could hear the clank of the coupling and the recoil. At that sound the band had their mouths to their bagpipes and their fingers ready on the stops. Two or three officers hurried down from the station doors and stood ready.
The train came on slowly, packed with men; men who thrust their heads and shoulders through the carriage windows, and knelt on the seats, and stood straining over each other"s backs to look out; men whose faces were scarlet with excitement; men with open mouths shouting for joy.
The officers saluted as it pa.s.sed. It halted at the open platform, and suddenly the pipers began to play.
Michael got out of his train and watched.
Solemnly, in the grey evening of the rain, with their faces set in a sort of stern esctasy, the Highlanders played to their comrades. Michael did not know whether their tune was sad or gay. It poured itself into one mournful, savage, sacred cry of salutation and valediction. When it stopped the men shouted; there were voices that barked hoa.r.s.ely and broke; voices that roared; young voices that screamed, strung up by the skirling of the bagpipes. The pipers played to them again.
And suddenly Michael was overcome. Pity shook him and grief and an intolerable yearning, and shame. For one instant his soul rose up above the music, and was made splendid and holy, the next he cowered under it, stripped and beaten. He clenched his fists, hating this emotion that stung him to tears and tore at his heart and at the hardness of his mind.
As the troop-train moved slowly out of the station the pipers, piping more and more shrilly, swung round and marched beside it to the end of the platform. The band ceased abruptly, and the men answered with shout after shout of violent joy; they reared up through the windows, straining for the last look--and were gone.
Michael turned to the porter who lifted his luggage from the rack. "What regiment are they?" he said.
"Camerons, sir. Going to the Front."
The clear, uncanny eyes of Veronica"s father pursued him now.
At last he had got away from it.
In Rathdale, at any rate, there was peace. The hills and their pastures, and the flat river fields were at peace. And in the villages of Morfe and Renton there was peace; for as yet only a few men had gone from them. The rest were tied to the land, and they were more absorbed in the hay-harvest than in the War. Even the old Belgians in Veronica"s cottage were at peace. They had forgotten.
For three days Michael himself had peace.
He went up to Veronica"s hill and sat on it; and thought how for hundreds of miles, north, south, east and west of him, there was not a soul whom he knew. In all his life he had never been more by himself.
This solitude of his had a singular effect on Michael"s mind. So far from having got away from the War he had never been more conscious of it than he was now. What he had got away from was other people"s consciousness. From the beginning the thing that threatened him had been, not the War but this collective war-spirit, clamouring for his private soul.
For the first time since August, nineteen-fourteen, he found himself thinking, in perfect freedom and with perfect lucidity, about the War.
He had really known, half the time, that it was the greatest War of Independence that had ever been. As for his old hatred of the British Empire, he had seen long ago that there was no such thing, in the continental sense of Empire; there was a unique thing, the rule, more good than bad, of an imperial people. He had seen that the strength of the Allies was in exact proportion to the strength and the enlightenment of their democracies. Reckoning by decades, there could be no deadlock in the struggle; the deadlock meant a ten years" armistice and another war. He could not help seeing these things. His objection to occupying his mind with them had been that they were too easy.
Now that he could look at it by himself he saw how the War might take hold of you like a religion. It was the Great War of Redemption. And redemption meant simply thousands and millions of men in troop-ships and troop-trains coming from the ends of the world to buy the freedom of the world with their bodies. It meant that the very fields he was looking over, and this beauty of the hills, those unused ramparts where no batteries were hid, and the small, silent villages, Morfe and Renton, were bought now with their bodies.
He wondered how at this moment any sane man could be a Pacifist. And, wondering, he felt a reminiscent sting of grief and yearning. But he refused, resolutely, to feel any shame.
His religion also was good; and, anyhow, you didn"t choose your religion; it chose you.
And on Sat.u.r.day the letters came: John"s letter enclosing the wire from the War Office, and the letter that Nicky"s Colonel had written to Anthony.
Nicky was killed.
Michael took in the fact, and the date (it was last Sunday). There were some official regrets, but they made no impression on him. John"s letter made no impression on him. Last Sunday Nicky was killed.
He had not even unfolded the Colonel"s letter yet. The close black lines showed through the thin paper. Their closeness repelled him. He did not want to know how his brother had died; at least not yet. He was afraid of the Colonel"s letter. He felt that by simply not reading it he could put off the unbearable turn of the screw.
He was shivering with cold. He drew up his chair to the wide, open hearth-place where there was no fire; he held out his hands over it. The wind swept down the chimney and made him colder; and he felt sick.
He had been sitting there about an hour when Suzanne came in and asked him if he would like a little fire. He heard himself saying, "No, thank you," in a hard voice. The idea of warmth and comfort was disagreeable to him. Suzanne asked him then if he had had bad news? And he heard himself saying: "Yes," and Suzanne trying, trying very gently, to persuade him that it was perhaps only that Monsieur Nicky was wounded?
"No? _Then_," said the old woman, "he is killed." And she began to cry.
Michael couldn"t stand that. He got up and opened the door into the outer room, and she pa.s.sed through before him, sobbing and whimpering.
Her voice came to him through the closed door in a sharp cry telling Jean that Monsieur Nicky was dead, and Jean"s voice came, hushing her.
Then he heard the feet of the old man shuffling across the kitchen floor, and the outer door opening and shutting softly; and through the windows at the back of the room, he saw, without heeding, as the Belgians pa.s.sed and went up into the fields together, weeping, leaving him alone.
They had remembered.
It was then that Michael read the Colonel"s letter, and learned the manner of his brother"s death: "... About a quarter past four o"clock in the afternoon his battalion was being pressed back, when he rallied his men and led them in as gallant an attack as was ever made by so small a number in this War. He was standing on the enemy"s parapet when he was shot through the heart and fell. By a quarter to five the trench was stormed and taken, owing to his personal daring and impetus and to the affection and confidence he inspired.... We hear it continually said of our officers and men that "they"re all the same," and I daresay as far as pluck goes they are. But, if I may say so, we all felt that your son had something that we haven"t got...."
Michael lay awake in the bed that had been his brother"s marriage bed.