Not that he was depressed to indifference. Rather he was conscious of a certain nervous excitement akin to exhilaration that he had not felt since the days of the big games, when he used to get up with his blood tingling in heady antic.i.p.ation of the task before him. He took his plunge with hearty relish, and rubbed his body until it glowed with the Turkish towel.
His arm was free of the sling now, and, though it was still a bit stiff, it was beginning to limber up nicely. In another week it would be as good as new, with only a slight scar left to serve as a reminder of the episode that had led to so much. In time that too would disappear; and then-- But he was not concerned with the future. That, any more than the weather, was no affair of his.
This morning Marjory would perforce remain indoors, and so if he went to see her it was doubtful whether he would be interfering with any plans she might have made for Peter. An hour was all he needed--perhaps less. This would leave the two the remainder of the day free--and, after that, all the days to come. There would be hundreds of them--all the days of the summer, all the days of the fall, all the days of the winter, and all the days of the spring; then another summer, and so a new cycle full of days twenty-four hours long.
Out of these he was going to take one n.i.g.g.ardly hour. Nor was he asking that little for his own sake. Eager as he was--as he had been for two weeks--for the privilege of just being alone with her, he would have foregone that now, had it been possible to write her what he had to say. In a letter it is easy to leave unsaid so many things. But he must face her leaving the same things unsaid, because she was a woman who demanded that a man speak what he had to say man-fashion. He must do that, even though there would be little truth in his words. He must make her believe the lie. He cringed at the word. But, after all, it was the truth to her. That was what he must keep always in mind. He had only to help her keep her own conception. He was coming to her, not in his proper person, but as just Monte. As such he would be telling the truth.
He shaved and dressed with some care. The rain beat against the window, and he did not hear it. He went down to breakfast and faced the vacant chair which he had ordered to be left at his table. She had never sat there, though at every meal it stood ready for her. Peter suggested once that he join them at their table until madame returned; but Monte had shaken his head.
Monte did not telephone her until ten, and then he asked simply if he might come over for an hour.
"Certainly," she answered: "I shall be glad to see you. It"s a miserable day, Monte."
"It"s raining a bit, but I don"t mind."
"That"s because you"re so good-natured."
He frowned. It was a privilege he had over the telephone.
"Anyhow, what you can"t help you may as well grin and bear."
"I suppose so, Monte," she answered. "But if I "m to grin, I must depend upon you to make me."
"I"ll be over in five minutes," he replied.
She needed him to make her grin! That was all he was good for. Thank Heaven, he had it in his power to do this much; as soon as he told her she was to be free again, the smile would return to her lips.
He went at once to the hotel, and she came down to meet him, looking very serious--and very beautiful. Her deep eyes seemed deeper than ever, perhaps because of a trace of dark below them. She had color, but it was bright crimson against a dead white. Her lips were more mobile than usual, as if she were having difficulty in controlling them--as if many unspoken things were struggling there for expression.
When he took her warm hand, she raised her head a little, half closing her eyes. It was clear that she was worrying more than even he had suspected. Poor little woman, her conscience was probably harrying the life out of her. This must not be.
They went upstairs to the damp, desolate sun parlor, and he undertook at once the business in hand.
"It has n"t worked very well, has it, Marjory?" he began, with a forced smile.
Turning aside her head, she answered in a voice scarcely above a whisper:--
"No, Monte."
"But," he went on, "there"s no sense in getting stirred up about that."
"It was such a--a hideous mistake," she said.
"That"s where you"re wrong," he declared. "We"ve tried a little experiment, and it failed. Is n"t that all there is to it?"
"All?"
"Absolutely all," he replied. "What we did n"t reckon with was running across old friends who would take the adventure so seriously. If we"d only gone to Central Africa or Asia Minor--"
"It would have been just the same if we"d gone to the North Pole," she broke in.
"You think so?"
"I know it. Women can"t trifle with--with such things without getting hurt."
"I "m sorry. I suppose I should have known."
"You were just trying to be kind, Monte," she answered. "Don"t take any of the blame. It"s all mine."
"I urged you."
"What of that?" she demanded. "It was for me to come or not to come.
That is one part of her life over which a woman has absolute control.
I came because I was so utterly selfish I did not realize what I was doing."
"And I?" he asked quickly.
"You?"
She turned and tried to meet his honest eyes.
"I"m afraid I"ve spoiled your holiday," she murmured.
He clinched his jaws against the words that surged to his lips.
"If we could leave those last few weeks just as they were--" he said.
"Can"t we call that evening I met you in Paris the beginning, and the day we reached Nice the end?"
"Only there is no end," she cried.
"Let the day we reached the Hotel des Roses be the end. I should like to go away feeling that the whole incident up to then was something detached from the rest of our lives."
"You"re going--where?" she gasped.
He tried to smile.
"I "ll have to pick up my schedule again."
"You"re going--when?"
"In a day or two now," he replied. "You see--it"s necessary for me to desert you."
"Monte!"
"The law demands the matter of six months" absence--perhaps a little longer. I "ll have this looked up and will notify you. Desertion is an ugly word; but, after all, it sounds better than cruel and abusive treatment."
"It"s I who deserted," she said.