The True Endgame

"You really did kill him! I – heh, I could have done that," Azalabulia says.

"Then why didn"t you?" Fenrir asks her.

Azalabulia ignores his question and looks around.

"Did you already get the loot from him?" she asks.

"Now that you mention it, I don"t think there was any," Fenrir answers. "Did any of you see anything?"

"Nothing that I noticed," Ca.s.siel answers while Rao and Oleander shake their heads. "We can try rolling him over. If there"s a chest, it probably sp.a.w.ned underneath him."

"Why would it be underneath him?"

"Immersion. It"s less unrealistic than it just appearing out of thin air on top of him or next to him."

"How are we supposed to roll him over?"

"We could use your serpent friend, Fenny," Oleander suggests.

"I don"t even see her around. She"s probably off hunting for more rowboats," Fenrir says, imagining the serpent stalking rowboats from the depth, waiting until they are close to reaching the sh.o.r.e, and then devouring them whole.

Wait, doesn"t that make her a troll?

When Fenrir recalls all the memories she showed him of attacking rowboats… yeah, that serpent is probably the largest troll that he"s met in Fantasy Tales Online thus far, and she"s just an artificial intelligence rather than being run by a player!

Though, when he thinks about just how mad everybody has probably gotten from being randomly devoured by a giant serpent, that makes him smile.

"Why are you smiling?" Ca.s.siel asks.

"Because I"m a bad person. Anyways, Azz, that"s our boat over there," Fenrir says, pointing at The s...o...b..ll.

"Azz?" Azalabulia asks. "I – my name is – my name is Azalabulia!"

"And now it"s Azz for short unless you"ve got another nickname you"d like us to use instead."

"If you wish to use a nickname then you may call me Azalabulia, Wielder of the Cursed Flame of Bahamut, the One who will Set the World Abla—"

"Got it, Azz."

"You"re just calling me that because you think my b.u.t.t is big, aren"t you?!" she shouts, reaching behind herself as if trying to cover up her rear with her hands, but she has a point.

She does have a pretty large b.u.t.t.

Fenrir, Ca.s.siel, Rao, and Oleander all look back at her rear now that she has pointed it out while Rock barks at Shogun whom is splashing around in the water.

Rock still refuses to actually go in the water, so she"s worried about Shogun"s safety since the water reaches up to his ankles!

Rao opens his mouth as if to make a comment on Azz"s a.s.s but, when he remembers what Fenrir has told him about being nice and respectful, he closes his mouth no matter how tempting it may be to remark on just how big Azalabulia"s b.u.t.t is.

Even Ca.s.siel is thinking it.

"Why"d you make it so big if you"re insecure about it?" Oleander asks.

Ca.s.siel and Fenrir look away while Rao looks at Oleander. Rao doesn"t understand how Oleander could just go and ask that after everything he was saying earlier about being normal, respectful, and all that other stuff.

There is much to learn for Rao, apparently. At least now he understands that it"s alright to make comments on girls" b.u.t.ts, even if he hardly knows them.

Fenrir notices Rao"s look of realization and hopes that there aren"t any weird thoughts in his head. Sure, Oleander might have been scolding Rao earlier, but that was rare and basing one"s moral compa.s.s off of Oleander is not a good idea.

"Be-because! My virtual a.s.sistant said to!" Azalabulia says.

"Why would your a.s.sistant say something like that?" Oleander asks with a tilted head.

"Be-because she said it"d make me more attractive!"

Ca.s.siel covers her face with one of her hands while Fenrir tries not to laugh. Meanwhile, Oleander has already figured out what sort of girl Azalabulia is. She"s mature in appearance and clearly dressed the way she is because she wants attention, acts younger than she looks – childish, and is worried about how she looks despite purposely looking this way because she wants to be attractive.

"Hey, Azz, how many cats do you have?" Oleander asks.

"E-eh? How did you know I have cats? I have two of them," Azalabulia answers.

Not as many that Oleander thought she would have, but that"s still more evidence to add to his theory.

She"s a lonely, older, self-conscious woman trying to act young and look hot.

"Cats?" Ca.s.siel asks.

Azalabulia nods her head. "They"re named Fluffle and Puffle!" she answers.

While Ca.s.siel nods her head and wants to hear more about Fluffle and Puffle, the rest of those within hearing range try to resist either laughing or cringing at those names.

Then again, when Fenrir remembers that he"s named Rock what she"s named, he really can"t judge Azalabulia for her cats" names.

"How old are you?" Oleander asks Azalabulia, wanting to confirm his theory.

Azalabulia straightens up and looks shocked that he"d even think about asking that… which just proves his theory, and she knows exactly what he"s thinking going off of the knowing smile he"s looking at her with.

"I"m not old!" Azalabulia shouts.

"Who said anything about you being old?" Oleander asks. "I"m just curious how old you are."

Fenrir and Ca.s.siel pick up on what Oleander is after now which makes them feel bad for the totally-not-old Azalabulia.

"I"m… my age ends with a six!" Azalabulia declares, a.s.suming that they"ll automatically think she"s sixteen.

"So, six years old? Aren"t you way too young to be playing this?" Oleander asks in an extra playful tone, swaying from side to side as he talks and questions her. She"s a fun target.

Azalabula pouts and stomps her feet, just like a six-year-old, and shouts, "I"m not six!"

"Oohh, sorry. So, you"re forty-six?"

The color drains out of Azalabulia"s face as she stumbles backward. "I"m… I"m not that old!" she shouts once more, but this time with one hundred percent more tears.

"Thirty-six?"

As Azalabulia"s tearing-up percentage increases by another one hundred, she shakes her head and stomps her feet in place.

"Twenty-six?"

She freezes.

Oleander smirks and says, "So, you"re twenty-si—"

"I could be sixteen! You – you never know!" Azalabulia shouts. How could her plan have backfired so horribly?!

"Are you forgetting you"re not allowed to play this game unless you"re at least eighteen?"
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The color even drains from Azalabulia"s eyes now.

She realizes that her plan was doomed from the beginning.

This is the end for her.

"Olly, stop bullying her," Ca.s.siel says. "And you," she looks at Azalabulia, "twenty-six isn"t even old. You"re only a few years older than us."

"I – I knew it… I"m older than all of you, aren"t I?" Azalabulia asks with a deflated tone.

"Only by a few years."

"Seriously though," Fenrir says, "there"s nothing wrong with being old. I mean, I"ve played with people anywhere from twelve to fifty-five. I"ve even had some women in my groups before that were in their forties, so twenty-six really isn"t a big deal. You"re still young."

Color starts returning to Azalabulia"s eyes and skin. "You – you think I"m young?" she asks.

Oleander, who has snuck up next to Rao, leans up to Rao"s ear and whispers, "This is when you need to start taking notes."

"I don"t think you"re young. You are young," Fenrir reaffirms.

"R-really?" Azalabulia asks, all of her chuuni defenses gone as her insecure, Christmas Cake personality reveals itself.

"Besides, even if you are a few years older than us, that just makes you more experienced in reality and means that you were born a couple of years before us. No big deal. h.e.l.l, you could pa.s.s for looking even younger with your avatar, but it"s pretty obvious there"s something just mature about you which is good and attractive in its own right."

"You"re – you"re calling me attractive?"

Fenrir looks at Ca.s.siel.

She"s sighing and nodding her head, already knowing what"s going to come out of this conversation.

Looking back at Azalabulia, Fenrir nods and says, "Yeah, the whole mature thing you"ve got going on is hot. I bet Ca.s.s Ca.s.s agrees with me." He nudges Ca.s.siel.

Azalabulia looks at Ca.s.siel with hopeful eyes.

"He"s not wrong. Your personality is cool when you"re roleplaying, but the mature look and feeling I get from you is nice," Ca.s.siel says, shrugging her shoulders.

Azalabulia looks even more excited now. "You – you think my persona is cool? Really? Seriously? You really think that? Really, really?" she asks.

Fenrir realizes something. There have been numerous times since they first started playing that Ca.s.siel was very… either intense or excitable. She takes the game seriously, loves to be flashy yet graceful during combat, has moments of nerding out about gaming, was fangirling and knew everything about Rachel back when they first saw her back in Port Tugator, now she thinks that Azalabulia"s chuuni roleplaying is cool… it all makes sense.

"Ca.s.s, you want to roleplay like her, don"t you?" Fenrir asks.

Now, it is Ca.s.siel that color is draining from.