Somebody who knows just how tired he still is from the previous day but still decides to greet him with an extreme situation.At the top of a snow-capped mountain, Ryouta finds himself shivering in the freezing cold and wondering why he is here instead of in the usual café.
He does not even question diving headfirst into the large tent set up behind him.
And inside of said tent is none other than the woman who prepared this surprise for him.
"Howdy, onii-wan," Saya says while bundled up in an oversized, thick coat and other winter gear including a hat with one of those fluffy b.a.l.l.s on top.
"I don"t know why but hearing a weeb imouto on top of a mountain while bundled up in winter clothes say howdy really doesn"t seem fitting," Ryouta replies.
"What"s wrong with it, pardner?"
"Pupaya, please. I"m freezing cold and can"t handle you talking like a cowboy all of a sudden."
"Fiiinneee. Anyways! You"re lucky, because just this day, I"m going to give you special service!"
Saya grabs the zipper at the top of her jacket and pulls it down, revealing a soft sweater underneath.
"Come in," she says.
"Come in where?"
"I don"t know if you"re genuinely asking or making a perverted joke."
"You know what it is."
She sighs. "Both. Just come into my coat with me."
"You mean like, try to wear it at the same time as you?"
"Yeah."
"Which way am I supposed to face?"
"You have to face me, I guess."
"Then we won"t be able to move our arms. One of us would have to bend our arms backward unless we plan on keeping them out to our sides."
"I – I didn"t think that far ahead."
"The other option would be to face away from you so you"re at my back, but then I"d be wearing you like a backpack."
"I"m – I"m not that small! I"m only a few inches shorter than you! You"re not Fenrir right now, so don"t get c.o.c.ky!"
"Just take your coat off."
"Hmph. Fine."
Saya takes it off and tosses it at him. Ryouta then proceeds to put it on, sits down where she was, and holds his arms out.
"Alright. Come in," he says.
"Come in where?"
"Unless you have a surprise package under your pants, you know where. Put your back against me and slide your arms into the sleeves."
"Fi-fine. I was supposed to be the one giving you service… wait! Take the coat off! I have a better idea!"
Ryouta stares at her, unmoving.
"I"m serious! I promise I have a really good idea! If you don"t do it then I might never ever feel like doing this again, you pervert!"
"Why am I being called a pervert for the idea that you have?"
"Because I wouldn"t have this idea in the first place if it wasn"t for you!"
"You make a valid point. Alright," Ryouta says and stands up, taking the coat off to toss it back to her.
First, Saya uses magic—or more technically, her code-manipulation rights inside of the small, virtual s.p.a.ce that she can create as a lobby for Fantasy Tales Online—to increase the size of a coat to almost twice its current size. At this size, it could completely cover her body.
But something else grows, too.
Before Ryouta"s very eyes, Saya grows taller.
She goes from being an imouto to an onee-chan. Though, she does not become the "ara ara" type of onee-chan that Ryouta is most familiar with. Instead, she grows taller but keeps her previous proportions. Tall and lean. Her face grows more mature in appearance, too. She makes herself look both taller and older than Ryouta.
"I get what you"re going for, but you look more like a fun aunt instead of a big sister. Big sisters are supposed to have big b.o.o.bs and go "ara ara" when they detect their prey. You look more like a basketball-playing aunt who would ruffle up my hair and roughhouse with me."
"Hehe, that"s the point, you brat," Saya says, grabbing onto Ryouta to pull him closer without any warning.
She proves his point about roughhousing as she pulls him down against the ground, his back to her chest, and then wraps her legs around his waist.
"Gotcha!"
"I"m so conflicted on how to feel right now. Where did my Pupaya go? Why am I being forced to sit in an older woman"s lap?"
"Whatcha mean where"d Pupaya go?" Saya asks.
Ryouta turns around and sees that the blonde-furred dog ears are still sitting there on the top of her head, and her tail is swishing behind her.
"An older woman aunt-like sister basketball-player-looking puppy girl… we"re reaching levels of culture that shouldn"t be possible. You"re not going to fry my brain, are you?"
"Heh. I"ll be careful not to! Now, come on, put your arms in the sleeves. If you don"t then I"m going to bully you."
"You"re probably going to bully me even if I do. I have a feeling that you"re planning on getting some sort of revenge against me right now."
"Just do it."
For once, Ryouta is the one being bossed around by Saya, and he doesn"t exactly intend on complaining about that. This is why he slides his arms into the coat"s sleeves alongside her arms.
Once he"s got his arms all the way in, Saya smiles a wide grin and zipes the coat back up!
Ryouta has been trapped within the coat. He can"t move his arms wherever Saya doesn"t want to move hers, he has her against his back and the coat blocking him in at the front, and her legs around his waist.
He has been thoroughly and utterly captured.
"So, why are you doing this?" he asks.
"Because," she answers, flopping backward onto the padded sleeping bag.
Now he is lying on top of her as if she"s a bed and the coat is the blanket, and she doesn"t seem to mind in the slightest.
"Because why?"
"Because. I"m rewarding you. You deserve it for once, you rascal."
"Being called a rascal is more arousing than I ever would have imagined. Though, I don"t think it"d have the same effect if you were your usual self right now."
"Rascal is the older version of baka."
"Is it?"
"Now it is."
"Fair enough. Anyways, what did I do to deserve being rewarded?"
"You made all those people throw up. It was hilarious, plus you did it for a good cause. You even managed to be pretty romantic for once, not that you ever treat me that way."
"So, I"m getting this fanservice for making people throw up and somehow managing to not mess up being romantic for once?"
"Basically, yeah."
"I have to admit that this is pretty nice."
Ryouta forces himself to stop being so tense and to just relax, allowing his head to rest against her sweater-covered shoulder while his arms go wherever she moves her own.
"And why on top of a mountain?" he asks.
"Change of scenery."
"I see. You know, Pupaya, you"re actually kind of cool right now."
"Heh. Of course I am! That"s the whole point."
"Are you going to be like this all the time from now on?"
"Nope. This is a one-time deal until I decide to bring it back."
"That makes it sound like it"s not actually a one-time deal. I need to know just how rare this actually is so that I know how much to value it."
"Can"t you just value it as much as possible? Don"t be a scoundrel."
"I think you mean rascal."
"Oh. Yeah, a rascal. Serra Berra is the scoundrel."
"Since she"s the dread pirate queen?"
"Yeah. Pirates are scoundrels. Anyways… you really were good yesterday."
"You"re going to make me blush if you keep praising me, Pupaya."
"Don"t care. You"re cute when you blush."
"And now I"m blushing."
"That"s the whole point, hehe."
"Seriously, this is so out of character for you."
"Is it? I"ve always treated you how you want to be treated. If I"m treating you like this then it means you think you deserve it. It"s not like I"m doing this of my own freel will or anything, rascal."
"Are you implying I"m so narcissistic that I subconsciously believe I deserve you turning into an older woman to spoil me?"
"Yep. Well, it might be a bit of my free will. Only a tiny bit. Don"t get c.o.c.ky, you brat."
"If it"s only a tiny bit of your free will, then I could wish really hard for you to shrink back down to your normal size, and then I"d basically be crushing you underneath me. Right?"
"You"re funny. Just try it. It won"t work."
"Then that means it"s your free will and not my desire."
Saya goes silent for a few moments. She might be part human brain and part highly advanced computer programming, but the human side of her intelligence prevents her from thinking of a good enough excuse to hide the truth with.
So instead, she reaches up to the top of his head to mess up his hair just as a stereotypically cool aunt would.
"Even if this is weird, it"s nice," Ryouta admits.
"You"re welcome for this."
"Shouldn"t you be thanking yourself, too? I mean, by doing this, aren"t you technically kind of doing it to yourself? Maybe that"s not the right way to put it. What I mean is that, by doing this to me, it"s what we both want, so we"re both benefitting from it just as much?"
"You still worded that poorly, but I understand what you"re trying to say. You"re still wrong."
"How?"
"Because I said so, you rascal-wan."
"Adding the honorific onto the end of that doesn"t really work. It makes you sound like one of those weebs who don"t know how honorifics work, and it"s even worse since it"s not a real honorific."
"Then I"ll never use it again."
"I take it back. You"re perfect and never do anything wrong."
"That"s what I thought, rascal-wan."
"If you"re going to call me that then I"m going to call you… milfaya. Wait, you"re not really a milf. What do hot aunts get called? Also, I know I don"t need to clarify this to you, but I"ve never had a family member I thought was hot."
"Sh-shush. I"m not trying to be hot. I"m just trying to be mature."
"And being mature is hot. Oh, that"s what I"ll call you. Hotaya."
"That sounds like some kind of microwave food."
"How – how did you make that comparison?"
"Blame yourself. I"m part of you."
"By that logic, if we have s.e.x, is that the same as masturbating?"
"And you"ve made it weird again."
"But we both like it weird."
"I – hey, somebody"s checking to see if you"re awake."
"Who?"
"All I can say is that they"re not trying to kill you. Yet."
"Then it sounds to me like I can give you attention for a bit longer."
"Are you sure, onii-wan – I – I mean, rascal-wan?"
"As nice as rascal is, there"s something about being called onii-wan by an older woman. Do it again if this is all about rewarding me."
"You"re getting awfully cheeky… onii-wan. Wha—hey! Wh-what do you think you"re doing?! Stop moving around so much!"
Trying his hardest to turn the situation around, Ryouta somehow manages to flip himself over inside of the coat so that they are chest to chest. He even manages to grab her wrists to hold them down against the ground within the coat. And now, it is his face that is over hers, his eyes looking down into her own widened eyes.
"Wh-what do you think you"re doing? I"m the – I"m the older one this time!" Saya whines.
"You might be older and bigger right now, but you"re still Pupaya. It"s not fair if I"m the only one getting fanservice."
"It"s – it"s kind of sad that I can tell you"re not even trying to be smooth right now but this is when you"re actually succeeding…"
"Wait, am I?"
"You"re going to ruin it."
"Probably. What about if I do this?"
Ryouta leans in lower, bringing his lips closer and closer to Saya"s until there is hardly any s.p.a.ce left between them.
With a fluttering heart, Saya cannot do anything but close her eyes and wait for what is about to happen.
"Why are your eyes closed?" he asks.
Saya opens her eyes and sees him just hanging his head over her with a totally casual expression on his face.
She knows that she should have known better.
And that is why she takes control back.
Slipping her wrists out from his grasp so that she can be the one to grab him by his wrists, she rolls over to pin him down to the ground while putting herself into the exact same position that he was just in.
"I"m – I"m the mature one today. I"m not going to let you do whatever you want, and I"m especially not going to let you tease me like that! Now – n-now it"s time for revenge," Saya says, staring down at his face.
"Are you sure?" Ryouta asks. "If you"re really the mature one, then you have to prove it."
"Fine! I"ll prove it!"
"Alright. Can you resist what I"m about to say?"
"I can resist – wait – wait! D-don"t – don"t you dare! That"s cheating! You know the effect it has on me!"
"Pupaya."
"Bad! Bad scamp!"
"I"m a scamp now?"
"I forget what I was calling you before! You scoundrel!"
"Still not right."
"Rascal!"
"Good girl."
Saya freezes. Her tail is already wagging, her ears are twitching, and her eyes are starting to spin.
But she refuses!
She shakes away the desire to give in to those words so that she can—
"Who"s a good girl?"
Her tail wags even faster.
"Why are you so quiet, Pupaya? Aren"t you a good girl?"
"I – I—"
Defeat is near the Saya.
But she will not give in just yet.
"I!"
Saya shuts her eyes and closes the distance between their faces. And now… she licks hi.
Her eyes open when she realizes what she just did.
Instead of kiss him like she was supposed to – like she had planned and like any normal person would in the situation… she was in Pupaya mode and licked him just like a dog would.
On the lips.
With ears sticking straight up and a face burning red from embarra.s.sment, Pupaya simply cannot say nor do anything else other than stare down at Ryouta with dizzy eyes.
As for Ryouta, he was just licked like a dog by an older women imouto-aunt dog girl. On the lips. Whatever the appropriate reaction is to this situation, he has no idea what it is. All he knows is that he liked it and that he never expected something like this to happen when coming to spend time with Saya.
"Pupaya, switch back to your usual self," Ryouta says.
There is no hesitation from Saya. She returns to her normal size and appearance with just as much embarra.s.sment as before.
And that embarra.s.sment only grows when he leans up to kiss her on the lips.
"There. You licked me and I kissed you. Now we"re even," he says, not really sure what he"s trying to make even.
"ah – you – you—"
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"Who"s a good girl?"
Saya gives up.
All she can do at this point in let her head fall down to hide against his shoulder and mumble, "I am…"
As embarra.s.sed as she may be, her tail is still wildly wagging from side to side behind her.
"You"re too fun to tease, Pupaya," Ryouta says.
"Hm-hmph. I"ll bite you," she threatened, poking her teeth against his neck.
"Please do."
And so, she does. Though, she only bites in a very light and playful manner.
"Good girl," he praises her.
"Stop praising me for everything! It"s embarra.s.sing, you baka onii-wan."
"I"m not a rascal anymore?"
"No. I"m never calling you that again."
"Dang. Will I ever get to see aunt Pupaya again?"
"No."
"What about big sister Pupaya?"
"Nope."
"Milf Pupaya?"
"No! I couldn"t even be one because I"m a not a mom!"
"We can change that."
"Whwhat?! I – it – it doesn"t work that – I mean, it"s possible in here – but—"
"I"m teasing you. Relax, Pupaya."
"You don"t joke about those things! There are things that you don"t joke about, and that"s one of them! You never ever ever ever joke about that! If you ever joke about that to your girlfriends then they"re going to kill you and I"ll help them!"
"Wait, if you"re getting this upset…"
"Exactly! It means you"d get this upset if somebody joked to you about it! W-well, maybe not this upset, but you wouldn"t like it!"
"Wait part two. You said it"s possible in here. What if… couldn"t we practice?"
"You get enough practice with your girlfriends in-game!"
"I don"t mean that kind of practice. I mean like – practice… having a kid. Not making a kid, but actually having one. Would it be possible to… practice holding a baby or something here?"
"O-oh. You mean like that."
"You knew that I meant it like that."
"It"s more fun to overreact to everything and misinterpret what you mean."
"It"s less fun when you blatantly admit to acting it up."
"Anyways, yeah. Anything is possible in here, basically. As long as you"re in this lobby with me, I can make whatever you want happen in it."
Just like that, the two returned to the usual café setting, sitting across from one another at the same table as always.
"If I can make it look like there are other people walking around, I can make a baby pop up. Should I?"
"I uh, I don"t know. Probably not. I mean, what if I drop it?"
"It"s fake. You can throw it out the window and nothing bad is going to happen… other than realizing that you are a horrible person who should never be a father."
"Why did you have to implant the thought of throwing a baby out of a window into my head? You know how horrible people can be when we know that something is just a game with no consequences. Don"t you have access to the memories of my childhood where I played games involving clubbing baby seals?"
"That means you"re a horrible person who should never own a baby seal."
"I"d never actually club a baby seal."
"Are you sure about that, onii-wan?"
Suddenly, a baby seal appeared on the table alongside a wooden club.
"This… this isn"t right," Ryouta says, looking between the two items.
If the baby seal looked realistic, he would never even begin to consider clubbing it, but… Saya made the seal look just like the poorly animated seal from his childhood.
"What"s wrong, onii-wan? Are you going to club it? You would never club a cute, baby seal, right?"
The seal turns to look at him with large, sparkling eyes.
The desire to club the seal only grows stronger.
Ryouta reaches out for the club before grabbing his hand to pull it away. "This is entrapment."
"This is a character test. Will you club the baby seal, or will you not?"
"I won"t. I absolutely won"t."
"What if," she pauses to poke it, causing a small amount of confetti to pop out from where she poked, "it explodes into confetti when you club it?"
Ryouta has no idea that he is holding the club until it is already in his hand. He drops it to the floor when he realizes it and takes a couple of steps back.
The dark temptation is powerful and growing stronger.
"What if," Saya pauses again, this time changing scenary from the café to a golf-like course where snow has replaced gra.s.s and there are several items scattered around in front of them. Some of the items are springs for the seal to bounce on. Some are hoops to be hit through. Some are floating jetpacks to send the seal flying even farther. "I wonder how far you could hit it."
"Since when do you have this much control over the lobby? It"s like you could set up an entirely different game inside of here if you wanted to."
"I technically could."
"Are you even allowed to be doing this?"
"I am. We"re allowed to do whatever we want. It"s sort of like… compensation for when you die and have to wait a day to resp.a.w.n!"
"That makes sense."
What does not make sense is the fact that the club is back in his hands without any memories of ever picking it up.
His fingers refuse to drop it this time.
"Pupaya, think about what you"re doing."
"Shouldn"t you be the one thinking about that, onii-wan? You"re the one looking down at the cute, innocent baby seal while holding that scary club in your hand."
What would his girlfriends think?
What would his parents, wherever they may be if there is an afterlife, think?
What would his friends think?
"I – I won"t. I won"t do it. I can resist this. I"m better than this," Ryouta says, using his free hand to pry his fingers off of the club.
But there is a problem.
As soon as his other hand touches the club, he finds himself holding onto it with both hands and taking on the stance of a baseball batter.
"I could pitch the baby seal to you if you want me to," Saya offers.
"I don"t want you to pitch anything to me!"
He may have said that, but he is the one who has subconsciously stepped onto a batter"s plate and is the process of taking some practice swings.
"I"m almost starting to feel guilty about this," Saya says. "This really is starting to feel like entrapment."
"It is entrapment! That"s why it doesn"t count if you throw it for me!"
Saya narrows her eyes at him.
He narrows his eyes at the baby seal.
Saya stretches out her throwing arm for a few seconds before tossing the seal as fast as she can at him!
The seal, not knowing what is about to happen to it, only enjoys the feeling of flying so fast with sparkling eyes.
Ryouta swings the club and hits a home run! All of that experience from playing the game as a child is more than valid still.
And so, a cloud of confetti bursts into the air as the seal goes flying in the opposite direction. It soars through the air like a cannon ball before finally hitting the ground, bouncing, hitting the ground, bouncing, and then sliding across the ground… right into a trampoline! The trampoline bounces the baby seal up into a cl.u.s.ter of rockets, sending it flying through the air even faster than before! Then it hits a bomb, creating another explosion of confetti as it speeds up! Then it bounces off of another trampoline! And then—
It apparently has no interest in ever stopping its flight through the air to lands unknown. Unharmed and having more fun than it has ever had in its oh-so-short existence, the baby seal continues its explosive journey as it zooms past the distance-indicating markers along the ground.
And then.
It finally stops.
The seal comes to a grinding stop in the snow right before a trampoline after having traveled over six thousand meters!
"I think that"s a new record," Ryouta says.
The baby seal teleports back next to Saya, looking ready for the next journey.
"Look at how happy it is. This means that I"m a good person for hitting it," he claims.
"You"re still a horrible person for hitting a baby seal with a club," Saya says.
"If I can beat my record then it means I"m not horrible."
"What kind of logic is that, onii-wan?"
"The only kind that matters. Come on, me and the seal are waiting."
Saya sighs, realizing that her plan has backfired, and pitches the baby seal.
After far too many attempts at trying to break his record, Ryouta has not managed to get the seal to fly even a third of the distance as it did in its first flight. Fortunately, the seal still enjoys every single time that it is sent through the air.
Though, eventually, they do get tired of this game and decide to return to the café.
Saya even prepares a bucket of ice for the baby seal to rest in next to the table. By sending the creature flying through the air so much, they kind of grew attached to it.
One could argue that it is an example of a Stockholm syndrome relationship, but which party is being manipulated?
"Well, onii-wan, now that we know you would still club a baby seal, that means no sp.a.w.ning a baby for you," Saya says, sipping her iced coffee through a straw.
"How am I going to make sure I can hold a baby without accidentally dropping it then? How am I ever going to be ready for kids?" Ryouta genuinely asks.
Saya sighs and snaps her fingers.
Appearing on the table before him is a baby-sized watermelon… covered in lube.
"Just hold that, walk around a bit, and you"ll be fine. Probably," Saya says.
Ryouta nods. "This isn"t a bad idea. I can do this."
And so, he picks up the watermelon, stands up, and immediately drops the watermelon on the floor. It breaks open and splashes onto their new pet, and the baby seal does not waste any time in eating the remains of Ryouta"s false child.
All Ryouta can do is look down at the sight before him with the dead eyes of a thoroughly defeated man.
"I"m never going to be able to have kids," he says. "My girlfriends are going to leave me for a man who can actually hold a baby without killing it. n.o.body wants to have kids with a man who kills a baby and then lets a baby seal eat it."
"I – I think you"re taking this a bit too seriously, onii-wan."
Being able to feel everything that he does, Saya can tell just how honest Ryouta is being. She can tell that he genuinely feels like he could never be a father just because he dropped a watermelon.
So, she sighs and sp.a.w.ns another watermelon with only half the lube of the previous watermelon. "Let"s try again. I believe in you, onii-wan. Ganbatte."
Hearing his treasured imouto cheer him on in weeb is enough to inspire him to try again!
"Alright! I"m not going to kill my second child!" Ryouta declares right before slipping on a piece of lubed watermelon on the floor, resulting in tripping and crashing his head down into the new watermelon.
His head is enough to crush the watermelon open.
"I know what you"re thinking, onii-wan. I"m not sp.a.w.ning rope for you."
"That"s probably good. I would just kill the rope, too."
"I – I don"t think that"s how it works. You really are worried about this whole baby thing, aren"t you?"
Ryouta stops the dramatics to nod his head and look away. "Yeah. It scares me. I want it, but… the thought of actually being a dad scares me to the point where I can"t even have real s.e.x with them. I"m paranoid about accidentally getting them pregnant without being ready."
"Sorry, onii-wan, but I don"t know if there"s anything that I can do to help. I wish I could."
"Thanks, Saya. Just knowing that there"s somebody who understands how I"m feeling is enough for me."
"Why don"t you talk to them about it?"
"I don"t know. I guess I"m afraid of what they"ll think."
"You know that they"re going to be like super understanding no matter what, right? There"s no way that they"re going to think anything bad about it."
"I know."
"Then why are you afraid?"
"Because I"m a coward and the human brain is stupid. Even if I know they wouldn"t, I still imagine them thinking I might not be a good father to their kids if I tell them about my fears."
"The human brain really is stupid."
"It is. Can you replace mine with a robot brain or something?"
"I don"t think the technology is there yet."
"Disappointing. Anyways, I guess I should go see whoever was checking on me earlier. Azawaza shouldn"t be too much longer either."
"You should talk to her about it. She works with kids for a living, so she"s probably the best one to help you."
"Maybe, but I wouldn"t want to ruin the date I have planned."
"I bet she"d like it."
"I don"t know. We"ll see."