"Never. Our visions of each other have left us. Can you tell why?"
If we had continued to speak on this subject, we must surely have recognized each other. But the subject dropped. Instead of answering her question, I drew her nearer to me--I returned to the forbidden subject of my love.
"Look at me," I pleaded, "and tell me the truth. Can you see me, can you hear me, and do you feel no answering sympathy in your own heart? Do you really care nothing for me? Have you never once thought of me in all the time that has pa.s.sed since we last met?"
I spoke as I felt--fervently, pa.s.sionately. She made a last effort to repel me, and yielded even as she made it. Her hand closed on mine, a low sigh fluttered on her lips. She answered with a sudden self-abandonment; she recklessly cast herself loose from the restraints which had held her up to this time.
"I think of you perpetually," she said. "I was thinking of you at the opera last night. My heart leaped in me when I heard your voice in the street."
"You love me!" I whispered.
"Love you!" she repeated. "My whole heart goes out to you in spite of myself. Degraded as I am, unworthy as I am--knowing as I do that nothing can ever come of it--I love you! I love you!"
She threw her arms round my neck, and held me to her with all her strength. The moment after, she dropped on her knees. "Oh, don"t tempt me!" she murmured. "Be merciful--and leave me."
I was beside myself. I spoke as recklessly to her as she had spoken to me.
"Prove that you love me," I said. "Let me rescue you from the degradation of living with that man. Leave him at once and forever.
Leave him, and come with me to a future that is worthy of you--your future as my wife."
"Never!" she answered, crouching low at my feet.
"Why not? What obstacle is there?"
"I can"t tell you--I daren"t tell you."
"Will you write it?"
"No, I can"t even write it--to _you_. Go, I implore you, before Van Brandt comes back. Go, if you love me and pity me."
She had roused my jealousy. I positively refused to leave her.
"I insist on knowing what binds you to that man," I said. "Let him come back! If _you_ won"t answer my question, I will put it to _him_."
She looked at me wildly, with a cry of terror. She saw my resolution in my face.
"Don"t frighten me," she said. "Let me think."
She reflected for a moment. Her eyes brightened, as if some new way out of the difficulty had occurred to her.
"Have you a mother living?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Do you think she would come and see me?"
"I am sure she would if I asked her."
She considered with herself once more. "I will tell your mother what the obstacle is," she said, thoughtfully.
"When?"
"To-morrow, at this time."
She raised herself on her knees; the tears suddenly filled her eyes. She drew me to her gently. "Kiss me," she whispered. "You will never come here again. Kiss me for the last time."
My lips had barely touched hers, when she started to her feet and s.n.a.t.c.hed up my hat from the chair on which I had placed it.
"Take your hat," she said. "He has come back."
My duller sense of hearing had discovered nothing. I rose and took my hat to quiet her. At the same moment the door of the room opened suddenly and softly. Mr. Van Brandt came in. I saw in his face that he had some vile motive of his own for trying to take us by surprise, and that the result of the experiment had disappointed him.
"You are not going yet?" he said, speaking to me with his eye on Mrs.
Van Brandt. "I have hurried over my business in the hope of prevailing on you to stay and take lunch with us. Put down your hat, Mr. Germaine.
No ceremony!"
"You are very good," I answered. "My time is limited to-day. I must beg you and Mrs. Van Brandt to excuse me."
I took leave of her as I spoke. She turned deadly pale when she shook hands with me at parting. Had she any open brutality to dread from Van Brandt as soon as my back was turned? The bare suspicion of it made my blood boil. But I thought of _her_. In her interests, the wise thing and the merciful thing to do was to conciliate the fellow before I left the house.
"I am sorry not to be able to accept your invitation," I said, as we walked together to the door. "Perhaps you will give me another chance?"
His eyes twinkled cunningly. "What do you say to a quiet little dinner here?" he asked. "A slice of mutton, you know, and a bottle of good wine. Only our three selves, and one old friend of mine to make up four. We will have a rubber of whist in the evening. Mary and you partners--eh? When shall it be? Shall we say the day after to-morrow?"
She had followed us to the door, keeping behind Van Brandt while he was speaking to me. When he mentioned the "old friend" and the "rubber of whist," her face expressed the strongest emotions of shame and disgust.
The next moment (when she had heard him fix the date of the dinner for "the day after to-morrow") her features became composed again, as if a sudden sense of relief had come to her. What did the change mean?
"To-morrow" was the day she had appointed for seeing my mother. Did she really believe, when I had heard what pa.s.sed at the interview, that I should never enter the house again, and never attempt to see her more?
And was this the secret of her composure when she heard the date of the dinner appointed for "the day after to-morrow"?
Asking myself these questions, I accepted my invitation, and left the house with a heavy heart. That farewell kiss, that sudden composure when the day of the dinner was fixed, weighed on my spirits. I would have given twelve years of my life to have annihilated the next twelve hours.
In this frame of mind I reached home, and presented myself in my mother"s sitting-room.
"You have gone out earlier than usual to-day," she said. "Did the fine weather tempt you, my dear?" She paused, and looked at me more closely.
"George!" she exclaimed, "what has happened to you? Where have you been?"
I told her the truth as honestly as I have told it here.
The color deepened in my mother"s face. She looked at me, and spoke to me with a severity which was rare indeed in my experience of her.
"Must I remind you, for the first time in your life, of what is due to your mother?" she asked. "Is it possible that you expect me to visit a woman, who, by her own confession--"
"I expect you to visit a woman who has only to say the word and to be your daughter-in-law," I interposed. "Surely I am not asking what is unworthy of you, if I ask that?"
My mother looked at me in blank dismay.
"Do you mean, George, that you have offered her marriage?"