Speed. Is she not hard-fauour"d, sir?
Val. Not so faire (boy) as well fauour"d
Speed. Sir, I know that well enough
Val. What dost thou know?
Speed. That shee is not so faire, as (of you) well-fauourd?
Val. I meane that her beauty is exquisite, But her fauour infinite
Speed. That"s because the one is painted, and the other out of all count
Val. How painted? and how out of count?
Speed. Marry sir, so painted to make her faire, that no man counts of her beauty
Val. How esteem"st thou me? I account of her beauty
Speed. You neuer saw her since she was deform"d
Val. How long hath she beene deform"d?
Speed. Euer since you lou"d her
Val. I haue lou"d her euer since I saw her, And still I see her beautifull
Speed. If you loue her, you cannot see her
Val. Why?
Speed. Because Loue is blinde: O that you had mine eyes, or your owne eyes had the lights they were wont to haue, when you chidde at Sir Protheus, for going vngarter"d
Val. What should I see then?
Speed. Your owne present folly, and her pa.s.sing deformitie: for hee beeing in loue, could not see to garter his hose; and you, beeing in loue, cannot see to put on your hose
Val. Belike (boy) then you are in loue, for last morning You could not see to wipe my shooes
Speed. True sir: I was in loue with my bed, I thanke you, you swing"d me for my loue, which makes mee the bolder to chide you, for yours
Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her
Speed. I would you were set, so your affection would cease
Val. Last night she enioyn"d me, To write some lines to one she loues
Speed. And haue you?
Val. I haue
Speed. Are they not lamely writt?
Val. No (Boy) but as well as I can do them: Peace, here she comes
Speed. Oh excellent motion; oh exceeding Puppet: Now will he interpret to her
Val. Madam & Mistres, a thousand good-morrows
Speed. Oh, "giue ye-good-ev"n: heer"s a million of manners
Sil. Sir Valentine, and seruant, to you two thousand
Speed. He should giue her interest: & she giues it him
Val. As you inioynd me; I haue writ your Letter Vnto the secret, nameles friend of yours: Which I was much vnwilling to proceed in, But for my duty to your Ladiship
Sil. I thanke you (gentle Seruant) "tis very Clerklydone
Val. Now trust me (Madam) it came hardly-off: For being ignorant to whom it goes, I writ at randome, very doubtfully
Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
Val. No (Madam) so it steed you, I will write (Please you command) a thousand times as much: And yet - Sil. A pretty period: well: I ghesse the sequell; And yet I will not name it: and yet I care not.
And yet, take this againe: and yet I thanke you: Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more
Speed. And yet you will: and yet, another yet
Val. What meanes your Ladiship?
Doe you not like it?
Sil. Yes, yes: the lines are very queintly writ, But (since vnwillingly) take them againe.
Nay, take them
Val. Madam, they are for you
Silu. I, I: you writ them Sir, at my request, But I will none of them: they are for you: I would haue had them writ more mouingly: Val. Please you, Ile write your Ladiship another
Sil. And when it"s writ: for my sake read it ouer, And if it please you, so: if not: why so: Val. If it please me, (Madam?) what then?
Sil. Why if it please you, take it for your labour; And so good-morrow Seruant.
Exit. Sil.
Speed. Oh Iest vnseene: inscrutible: inuisible, As a nose on a mans face, or a Wetherc.o.c.ke on a steeple: My Master sues to her: and she hath taught her Sutor, He being her Pupill, to become her Tutor.
Oh excellent deuise, was there euer heard a better?
That my master being scribe, To himselfe should write the Letter?
Val. How now Sir?
What are you reasoning with your selfe?
Speed. Nay: I was riming: "tis you y haue the reason
Val. To doe what?
Speed. To be a Spokes-man from Madam Siluia
Val. To whom?
Speed. To your selfe: why, she woes you by a figure
Val. What figure?
Speed. By a Letter, I should say
Val. Why she hath not writ to me?