"And they will mean more from you," added Agnes, "as you never have the civility to use them on ordinary occasions."
"Well, I will take your advice," said Marian, "and thank you, Mrs.
Wortley; I only wish--"
The wish ended in a sigh, as Marian sat down to commence--"My dear Caroline."
CHAPTER XI.
"But we are women when boys are but boys; Heav"n gives us grace to ripen and grow wise, Some six years earlier. I thank heav"n for it: We grow upon the sunny side of the wall."
TAYLOR.
It certainly was quite involuntary on Agnes Wortley"s part, but when the time came for returning to Oakworthy, Marian was conscious of more kindly and affectionate feelings towards it and its inhabitants than she had ever expected to entertain for them. She did not love Fern Torr or the Wortleys less; she had resumed her confidence and sympathy with Agnes, and felt the value of Mrs. Wortley more than ever; and it quite made her heart ache to think how long it would be before she saw another purple hill or dancing streamlet, and that she should not be there to see her dear old myrtle"s full pride of blossom. But, on the other hand, her room at Oakworthy, with its treasures, was a sort of home; and she looked forward to it gladly, when once she was out of sight of the moors.
The train had stopped and gone on again from the last station before that where they were to leave it for Oakworthy, when Gerald, coming across to the seat by her side, said, "Marian, I say, can you lend me a couple of pounds?"
"Why, Gerald, what can you want with them?"
"Never mind; only be a good girl, and let me have them."
"You had plenty of money when you came to Fern Torr. How could you have got rid of it all?"
"Come, come, Marian, don"t be tiresome. Haven"t I had to give to all the old women in the place?"
"But do you really mean that you have no money?"
"O yes, I have some, but not what I want. Come, I know you keep California in your pocket. What harm can it do you?"
After all Marian"s presents at Fern Torr, it was not quite as convenient, as Gerald fancied, to part with two pounds; but that was not the best motive to put forward, nor was it her reason for hesitating.
"I don"t know whether it is right; that is the thing, Gerald."
"Right! why where is the right or wrong in it?"
"I am afraid it may do you harm," said she, in a trembling, doubtful voice.
"Stuff! I"ll take care of that!"
"If you would only tell me what you want it for?"
"I tell you, Marian, I can"t do without it; I don"t know what I shall do, if you won"t give it to me."
"Debts! O Gerald, you have not got into debt?"
"Well, and what do you look so scared about? Do you think they will kill me?"
"O, Gerald, Gerald, this proves it all."
"It? what?" said Gerald. "Come, don"t be so like a girl! I have not been doing any thing wrong, I tell you, and it is all your fault if I can"t get clear."
"With such an allowance as you have, O Gerald, how could you? And how could you throw about money at home, when you knew you were in debt?"
"You talk as if I had been ruining my wife and ten small children,"
cried Gerald, impatiently. "A fine fuss about making a few pounds stand over till next half. But you women go headlong at it, never see the rights of a thing. So, you won"t? Well, it is your doing now!"
"I can"t see any end to it," said Marian, reflectingly. "If I thought you would make a resolution--but you will be without money at all, and how are you to get through this half? O, Gerald! better write to Mr.
Lyddell at once, and he will set you straight, and you can begin fresh."
Gerald made a face of utter contempt. The steam whistle was heard; they were stopping. "There is an end of it, then" said he, angrily. "I did not think you had been so ill-natured; it is all your fault, I tell you.
I thought you cared for me."
This was dreadful; Marian"s purse was in her hand, and she began "O Gerald dear, anything but that!"--when they found themselves close in front of the station, and Lionel pulling at the door of their carriage, and calling fiercely to the porter to unlock them.
Caroline was standing on the platform, and there was a tumult of greetings and inquiries for luggage to be taken out and put in. Gerald ran to see that his goods were separated from his sister"s; Lionel shook hands with Marian, and scolded her for staying away all the holidays; roared to the porter that his portmanteau was for Slough, then turned again to say, "You"ve heard of poor unfortunate, Marian?"
The bell rang; Gerald ran back; Marian knew she was weak, but could not help it,--she squeezed the two sovereigns into his hand, and was comforted for the moment by his affectionate farewell. Lionel and he threw themselves into their carriage, and were whisked off.
"There!" said Caroline. "Now come along. O, I am so glad you are come; I have so much to say."
Marian could not dwell on Gerald; she put her arm within Caroline"s, looked back to see f.a.n.n.y safe under the care of an Oakworthy footman, and soon was in the carriage.
"Well, Caroline; and how is every one?"
"Pretty well, considering the revulsion of ideas we have all undergone.
Poor Miss Morley left plenty of farewells for you. You can"t think haw pleased she was with your message."
"Poor thing! Where is she?"
"At her aunt"s; she went on Monday. Mamma was impatient to have it over.
You know her ways."
Marian knew that this intimated that Caroline thought her mother had not been kind; and she doubted whether to continue her inquiries; but Caroline was too eager to tell, to wait for questions, and proceeded:--"There had been dissatisfaction for a long time, as I believe you may have guessed; mamma thought Clara backward, and wanting in what Miss Morley calls "the solid;" and at last, coming suddenly into the schoolroom at twelve o"clock one fine day, she found reason good, for they were very comfortably reading M. Eugene Sue."
"O, Caroline, impossible!"
"Too possible," said Caroline, "though I would not believe it at first.
However, they did not know what it was when they began, and were afterwards too much bewitched with the story to leave off; and as they felt it was wrong, they read it the more constantly to get it over faster."
"But how in the world could they get such a book?"
"From the circulating library. It appears that they found the evenings rather dull in London this spring, when we were all out, and so began a little secret hiring, which was continued at Oakworthy, and with a worse choice of books."
"That she should be so little to be trusted!"
"Nay, Marian, who could live with her half-an-hour in the schoolroom, and think she could?"