Alicia bid a tearful goodbye to Uncle Ye and soon the family of three left the village to return to the city.Though Alicia felt sad to leave her home behind,she was also happy that they had been able to create new memories in her old home.It felt as if the house had been cleansed once again.She hoped that her parents would see that she was happy and their souls would not be burdened.She especially felt relieved to have met Uncle Ye and see him in good health.Soon they were moving to another country and she did not know when they would return and how.
As they drove back to the city,Alicia stared at Ryu.She was troubled by some things that Uncle Ye had said.She had not even realized her mistake until Uncle Ye said those words today.What if Ryu was harboring a similar misconception?She needed to make some things clear as soon as possible.But she did know know if she had the strenght to.What if Ryu thought she had purposely decieved him?They had only just found each other and happiness,was she willing to give them up so soon?She was surviving until now when she did not know that a husband could dote on his wife this much.But what if he started to loath her now or in the future?Could she let it be ruined?
She thought back to this afternoon,as they left,Uncle Ye had gifted her a blanket,insisting that they use this.Apparently it had been blessed by monks to help couples have a baby sooner.Alicia had blushed immediately and felt horror stricken but Ryu had laughed and accepted the gift ,adding that he hoped to have them soonest as well...
To this Uncle Ye had replied,"you have my blessings and prayers.May you blessed with sons like Ru,daughters like my Alice and Son in laws like you!"
Ryu had heard this and said with a smirk,"Uncle Ye,I did not realize that you liked me so much!"
Uncle Ye frowned and retorted,"Who likes you?I just want you to suffer the same way I have with a son in law like you!"
But they were both unaware that Alicia did not want more children!She was scared at even the thought of carrying a baby in her womb again...After the loss of her first baby,Alicia had suffered greatly mentally as well as physically...Since then she had been on contraceptives and she had not discontinued them even after her marriage.In fact, she had been relieved that she was on the pill when Ryu and her had finally consummated their marriage.But now she felt guilty when she saw his happy expression at the thought of a baby...
Deciding to put it to the back of her mind,she played many word and guessing games with Ru, completely and purposely ignoring Ryu.Ryu was driving steadily but his mind was elsewhere.He had seen Alicia"s reaction to Uncle Ye"s gift and also felt the tension in her body ever since..He wanted to talk but they would have to wait for an oppurtune time.
His mind s.h.i.+fted back to the work problems.Soon he would complete the formalities,which would officially loosen his hold in Lance Inc.Now they had to see,hether with years of his work,would the company survive or suffer?The journey back was faster due to lack of stops.
Once they reached home,Alicia rushed into the washroom to avoid talking while Ryu went ahead to freshen up Ru and put him to sleep.Deciding to let her have the time she needed,Ryu went into his study to do his work.After a little while there was a knock on his door.Looking up,Alicia entered the study room with two cups of steaming tea in hand.Placing them on the small coffee table in the corner of the room,she sat meekly on the sofs with her hands folded in her lap.She had been avoiding looking at him since this afternoon and he had started to get irritated by now!He hated, her not looking at him and avoiding his eyes like she was hiding something.
He went to sit next to her and taking a firm hold of her chin,made her look at him."Speak.",he ordered.She tried to avert her eyes again but he held her chin in a tight hold.
"Al,I said speak."Taking a deep breath,she started,"Ryu,I don"t think I want more kids.I am happy with only Ru.I am sorry I did not mention this earlier.I should have made this clear to you from the very beginning.I never thought it through.I have been taking contraceptives and did not even think to ask you if you wanted a family.. I am sorry..."Alicia was now earnestly crying and hiccupping.
Ryu scrutinized her face and then taking a tissue from the table wiped her face carefully.Making her look up at him again,he said,"Al,I do want kids with you.I"d love to see little replicas of you running around and for Ru to have siblings to dote on."Ryu"s words made her tears fall harder..."But I am not in a hurry to have them.Nor do I feel that they are essential to our future happiness if we decide not to.You are young and we have Ru so we can wait..Alicia look at me...I will not force you to change your stance about having kids but that does not mean that I will not try to help you overcome your fear.So don"t burden and torture yourself.And Missus,do you think I am blind?Evenif you did not discuss this with me,I have seen you pop those pills everyday.It"s not like you are purposely hiding them from me.What I said to Uncle Ye was only meant to rea.s.sure him and nothing and was not a representation of my wishes."
Taking her into his arms he continued,"Now stop crying missus.The best part of having a baby is the process of making one so let us focus on that for now.hmm?"
With Ryu strong support,Alicia felt as if a heavy boulder had been lifted from her heart