After meeting Alicia,Neil too left the office.In his anger and frustration,he had over worked and now his work was over.Holding the basket of blueberries in his hand,he opened the door to his home.Going into the kitchen he placed the basket on the counter and prepared some tea.Opening the basket,he took out a berry and popped it into his mouth.A rare genuine smile graced his face.Even though he could not reciprocate Mi Rae"s feelings,he was flattered and appreciated her gumption.
The smile then slid off his face.He needed to stop her or she would be even more hurt.He thought more because he understood her feelings and knew his negative answer would inevitably hurt her.
He thught back to what Alicia had told him before leaving,"Mi Rae knew everything."He wanted to be angry at Alicia for telling her but again he had done the same with Ryu so he could guess that she had chosen Mi Rae for him.Pouring the tea into a cup,he carried the cup to the living room and stared at the vast garden.He couldn"t believe that Alicia had guessed right even the things that he had never dared to tell anyone.Ning Ning had fallen in love with Ryu.Yes Alicia and Ning Ning were the same and had fallen for the same man..maybe their similarity is what made him think that Al would be the right choice.But there was a difference,he did not feel anything but brotherly love for her but Ning Ning had been the queen of his heart.But the biggest difference between Alicia and Ning ning was that Alicia had never lied to him or used him,while Ning Ning had never uttered a truth.
He did not love her anymore.She had killed that.But he could not love anyone anymore.And she as the one who had done that.Neil was scared of love.Because Love made a person blind.All the signs had been there but he had failed to see them.He had been so happy just having her back that he had ignored her change of heart.He hated Ning Ning as much as he had loved her.But it was difficult to explain so he let everyone believe that he still loved her.She had tried to use him to get to to his then married brother.Al would have never done that.he would have been straightforward and let him know instead of using him again and again.And when he had finally refused to be used,she had committed the crime of suicide.Ad Ryu who had been struggling against the mechanizations of their unknown enemy had to suffer to suppress another piece of news.He had been a mess and since he had suppressed his feelings,the ultimate brunt had been borne by Ah Hai...
Angry at himself for re thinking the past,Neil left the house again.Currently his biggest problem was Mi Rae.since his heart had no place for love,he did not want Mi Rae to be a subst.i.tute of Ning Ning,the way he had been to her.A subst.i.tute to his brother.And knowing that he had been a subst.i.tute,even then he had been willing.This was his deepest,darkest and most shameful truth.He never wanted to be like that again and he knew if he fell in love and then that woman fell out of love then he wouldn"t be able to take it.Mi Rae smiling face flashed in front of his eyes and his hands on the stearing wheel clenched.No,he had to nip this in the bud.Mi Rae was not to be hurt because of him.
Neil parked the car when he reached his destination.And here he was..at the graveyard.But this time he had no flowers for her.He went inside and sat near her grave and just stared at the stone with her name on it.As the day turned dark,his thoughts were clearer.This time he was finally going to say goodbye to Ning Ning.
No,he was not going to accept Mi Rae but he was not going to let his loved ones worry for him as well.This was the final goodbye!
Just as he left the graveyard and sat in his car,his phone rang indicating he had an incoming call.It was Ryu.Answering with an airy h.e.l.lo,Neil answered the phone."So Mr father to be!Are you suddenly missing me?Is that why you called?"
Ryu smiled at his brother"s teasing and said,"Yes..I miss you like I would miss a mosquito!I have some news for you..And Alicia wants you to come here for dinner!"
"What news?"
"It is about Hu Ge.You mighy find the news interesting."
Exasperated with Ryu talking in circles,Neil growled,"Tell me already!"
"No!Then you will find a reason to not come home.Your voice talks,Neil.I can guess where you are so get here and I will tell you everything.Mi Rae is also coming."
Before Neil could protest the phone had been hung up.Neil stared at the phone!Da** Ryu!He wanted to know what information he had but he did not want to see Mi Rae..really did not...And he drove at the highest speed towards his brother"s home.