One by one the lamps over the billiard-table died down and went out; the firelight leapt and started on the wall, making the gloom of the great room visible; in the half-darkness Tyson became clairvoyant, and his self-reproach grew dominant and clamorous. "It"s all my fault--if she dies it"ll be my fault! But how was I to know? How could I tell that anything like this would happen? I swear I"d die rather than let her go through this villainy a second time. It"s infamous--I"ll kill myself before it happens again!" He flung himself on the sofa and turned his face to the wall, muttering invectives, blasphemies--a confused furious arraignment of the finite and the Infinite.
At three o"clock the doctors sent for him. When he came back he was very silent. He lay down again quietly, and from time to time his lips moved, whether in imprecation or prayer it was hard to say; but it struck Stanistreet that Tyson"s mind had veered again to the orthodoxy of terror.
There was silence overhead too. They were putting her under chloroform.
Another hour and the window-panes glimmered as if a tissue of liquid air were spread between them and the darkness. There was a break in the night outside, a livid streak of dawn; the objects in the room took curious unintelligible shapes, the billiard-table in its white cloth became a monstrous bed, a bier, a gleaming mausoleum. And with the dawn Tyson on his sofa had dropped into a doze, and thence into a sleep. The night"s orgy of emotion had left his features in a curious moral disarray; once or twice a sort of bubbling murmur rose to his lips. "Poor devil!"
thought Stanistreet, "I"d give anything to know how much he really cared."
Stanistreet still watched. Mrs. Wilc.o.x found him sitting bent forward, with his elbows on his knees and his face hidden in his hands. He was roused by her touch on his shoulder. He started when he saw her standing over him, a strange figure in the dull light. She was clad in a long gray dressing-gown, her hair uncurled, red rims round her eyes and dark streaks under them, her mouth swollen and trembling. That night had been a rude shock to her optimism.
Stanistreet never knew how he became possessed of her plump hand, nor what he did with it. His eyes looked the question he was afraid to speak.
"It"s all right--all per--perfectly right," stammered the optimist. "Wake him up, please, and tell him he has got a son."
CHAPTER VI
A SON AND HEIR
It seems a simple thing to believe in the divinity of motherhood, when you have only seen it in the paintings of one or two old masters, or once in a while perhaps in flesh and blood, transfiguring the face of some commonplace vulgar woman whom, but for that, n.o.body would have called beautiful. But sometimes the divine thing chooses some morsel of humanity like Mrs. Nevill Tyson, struggles with and overpowers it, rending the small body, spoiling the delicate beauty; and where you looked for the illuminating triumphant glory of motherhood, you find, as Tyson found, a woman with a pitiful plain face and apathetic eyes--apathetic but for the dull horror of life that wakes in them every morning.
That Tyson had the sentiment of the thing is pretty certain. When he went up to town (for he went, after all, when the baby was a week old), he brought back with him a picture (a Madonna of Botticelli"s, I think) in a beautiful frame, as a present for his wife. Poor little soul! I believe she thought he had gone up on purpose to get it (it was so lovely that he might well have taken a fortnight to find it); and she had it hung up over the chimney-piece in her bedroom, so that she could see it whether she were sitting up or lying down.
Now, whether it was the soothing influence of that belief, or whether Mrs. Nevill Tyson, the mystic of a moment, found help in the gray eyes of the mother of G.o.d when Nevill had pointed out their beauty, pointed out, too, the paradox of the divine hands pressing the human b.r.e.a.s.t.s for the milk of life, she revived so far as to take, or seem to take, an interest in her son. She indulged in no ecstasies of maternal pa.s.sion; but as she nursed the little creature, her face began to show a serene half-ruminant, half-spiritual content.
He was very tiny, tinier than any baby she had ever seen, as well he might be considering that he had come into the world full seven weeks before his time; his skin was very red; his eyes were very small, but even they looked too large for his ridiculous face; his fingers were fine, like little claws; and his hands--she could hardly feel their feeble kneading of her breast. He was not at all a pretty baby, but he was very light to hold.
Tyson had not the least objection to Stanistreet or Sir Peter and the rest of them, they were welcome to stare at his wife as much as they pleased; but he was insanely jealous of this minute masculine thing that claimed so much of her attention. He began to have a positive dislike to seeing her with the child. There was a strain of morbid sensibility in his nature, and what was beautiful to him in a Botticelli Madonna, properly painted and framed, was not beautiful--to him--in Mrs. Nevill Tyson. He had the sentiment of the thing, as I said, but the thing itself, the flesh and blood of it, was altogether too much for his fastidious nerves. And yet once or twice he had seen her turn away from him, clutching hastily at the open bodice of her gown; once she had started up and left the room when he came into it; and, curious contradiction that he was, it had hurt him indescribably. He thought he recognized in these demonstrations a prouder instinct than feminine false shame. It was as if she had tried to hide from him some sacred thing--as if she had risen up in her indignation to guard the portals of her soul. To be sure he was in no mood just then for entering sanctuaries; but for all that he did not like to have the door slammed in his face.
Thank heaven, the worst had not happened. The little creature"s volatile beauty fluttered back to her from time to time; there was a purified transparent quality in it that had been wanting before. It had still the trick of fluctuating, vanishing, as if it had caught something of her soul"s caprice; but while it was there Mrs. Nevill Tyson was a more beautiful woman than she had been before. Some men might have preferred this divine uncertainty to a more monotonous prettiness. Tyson was not one of these.
One afternoon, about a fortnight after his return from town, he found her sitting in the library with "the animal," as he called his son. There had been a sound of singing, but it ceased as he came in. The child"s shawl was lying on the floor; he picked it up and pitched it to the other end of the room. Then he came up to her and scanned her face closely.
"What"s the matter with you?" he said.
"Nothing. Do I--do I look funny?" She put her hand to her hair, a trick of Mrs. Nevill Tyson"s when she was under criticism. She had been such an untidy little girl.
"Oh, d.a.m.ned funny. Look here. You"ve had about enough of that. You must stop it."
"What! Why?"
"Because it takes up your time, wastes your strength, ruins your figure--it _has_ ruined your complexion--and it--it makes you a public nuisance."
"I can"t help it."
She got up and stood by the window with her back to Tyson. She still held the child to her breast, but she was not looking at him; she was looking away through the window, rocking her body slightly backwards and forwards, either to soothe the child or to vent her own impatience.
Tyson"s angry voice followed her. "Of course you can help it. Other women can. You must wean the animal."
She turned. "Oh, Nevill, look at him--"
"I don"t want to look at him."
"But--he"s so ti-i-ny. Whatever _will_ he do?"
"Do? He"ll do as other women"s children do."
"He won"t. He"ll die."
"Not he. Catch him dying. He"ll only howl more infernally than he"s howled before. That"s all he"ll do. Do him good too--teach him that he can"t get everything he wants in this vile world. But whatever he does I"m not going to have you sacrificed to him."
"I"m not sacrificed. I don"t mind it."
"Well, then, _I_ mind it. That"s enough. I hate the little beast coming into my room at night."
"He needn"t come. I can go to him."
"All right. If you want to make an invalid scarecrow of yourself before your time, it"s not my business. Only don"t come to me for sympathy, that"s all."
With one of her pa.s.sionate movements, she s.n.a.t.c.hed the child from her breast, carried him upstairs screaming and laid him on her bed. When the nurse came she found him writhing and wailing, and his mother on her knees beside the bed, her face hidden in the counterpane.
"Take him away," sobbed Mrs. Nevill Tyson.
"Ma"am?" said the nurse.
"Take him away, I tell you. I won"t--I can"t nurse him. It--it makes me ill."
And forthwith she went off into a fit of hysterics.
It was at this crisis of the baby"s fate that Miss Batchelor, of all people, took it into her head to call. After all, Tyson was Nevill Tyson, Esquire, of Thorneytoft, and his wife had been somewhere very near death"s door. People who would have died rather than call for any other reason, called "to inquire." As did Miss Batchelor, saying to herself that nothing should induce her to go in.
Now as she was inquiring in her very softest voice, who should come up to the doorstep but Tyson. He smiled as he greeted her. He was polite; he was charming; for as a matter of fact he had been rather hard-driven of late, and a little kindness touched him, especially when it came from an unexpected quarter.
"This is very good of you, Miss Batchelor," said he. "I hope you"ll come in and see my wife."
Miss Batchelor played nervously with her card-case.
"I--I--Would your wi--would Mrs. Tyson care to see me?"
He smiled again. "I think I can answer for that."
And to her own intense surprise, for the first and last time Miss Batchelor crossed the threshold of Thorneytoft.
They found the little woman sitting in her drawing-room with her hands before her, and Mrs. Nevill Tyson did not smile at Miss Batchelor as she greeted her. Perhaps with her feminine instinct and antipathy, she felt that Miss Batchelor had not come to see _her_. So she smiled at her husband, and the smile was gall and wormwood to the clever woman; it had the effect, too, of bringing back to her recollection the occasion on which she had last seen Mrs. Nevill Tyson smiling. She wondered whether Mrs. Nevill Tyson also recalled the incident. If she did she must find the situation rather trying.
Apparently Mrs. Nevill Tyson was so happily const.i.tuted that to her trying situations were a stimulant and a resource. She prattled to Miss Batchelor about her new side-saddle, and her "friend, Captain Stanistreet"--any subject that came uppermost and dragged another with it to the surface.