He drives the knife forward and I gasp and jerk upright in my seat, catching my rib cage on the edge of my desk as the bell rings. Owen is gone, and the room is full of students sc.r.a.ping their chairs back and hoisting their bags onto their shoulders. I sag back again, rubbing my ribs, then haul myself to my feet and slide my too-blank notebook into my bag, trying to shake off the dregs of the nightmare. I"m almost to the door when Mr. Bradshaw stops me.
"Miss Bishop?" he says, straightening his desk.
I turn back to him. "Yes, sir?"
"Did I bore you?"
I cringe. "No, sir."
"Well, that"s a relief," he says, adjusting his gla.s.ses. "I do so worry about boring my students."
"Oh, you shouldn"t," I say. "You"re a very good speaker. Drama training?"
I curse myself before the words have even left my lips. Mouthing off in the Archive is one thing, but Mr. Bradshaw"s not a Librarian, he"s a teacher. Luckily, he smiles.
"I"ll a.s.sume then that, despite outward appearances, you were listening to my lecture with rapt attention. Still, perhaps in the future you could listen with your eyes open. Just so I know for sure."
I manage a weak smile, a nod, and another "Yes, sir" before heading into the hall in search of Literary Theory and a.n.a.lysis-I don"t see why they can"t just call it English. But before I can orient myself, someone clears his throat loudly. I turn to see Cash leaning against the door, waiting. He"s got a coffee in each hand, and he holds one out to me.
"Still trying to play the knight?" I ask, reaching reflexively for the cup.
"Your English cla.s.s with Wellson is on the other side of the quad," he says. "Five minutes isn"t enough time, unless you know the way."
As soon as I take the coffee, he sets off down the hall. It"s all I can do to keep up and not spill the drink all over myself as I swerve to avoid being hit by shoulders and the noise that comes with them.
"Before you ask how I knew about Wellson," he says, "I don"t have a thing for preying on new students." He taps the side of his head. "Just a photographic memory."
"That has to come in handy in a school like this."
His smile widens. "It does."
As he leads me through the building, I try to commit the route to memory.
"You"ll learn it backward and forward in no time."
I"ll have to. One of the "innovative learning tactics" mentioned in the brochure is the scheduling. Semesters at Hyde are made up of five cla.s.ses: three before lunch, two after. Every other day the schedule is reversed, so whatever cla.s.s came first goes last, last first, etc., etc. So Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays look like this: Precalc, Literary Theory, Wellness, (lunch), Physiology, Government. Tuesdays and Thursdays look like this: Government, Physiology, Wellness, (lunch), Literary Theory, Precalc.
The brochure contained a lengthy, case studysupported explanation of why it works; right now it feels like just another hoop to jump through.
Cash leads the way through a set of doors, out onto an inner quad that"s ringed with buildings. Then he veers down a path to the right. Along the way, he drinks his coffee and cheerfully tosses out fun facts about Hyde: It"s been around since 1832; it used to be two schools (one for guys and one for girls), but they consolidated; one of the founders was a sculptor, and the campus is studded with statues, fourteen in all, though the number is always up for debate. Cash rambles on, waving whenever someone shouts his way (which is surprisingly often) without so much as a pause in his speech.
Luckily he doesn"t stop to chat with anyone this time, and we reach my cla.s.s right as the second bell rings. He smiles triumphantly, turning away-but not before I can say thanks this time. He offers a salute that sweeps into a bow, and then he"s gone. I finish my coffee, trash the cup, and push the door open. Students are still taking their seats, and I snag one two rows back as a middle-aged woman with strikingly good posture-I a.s.sume she"s Ms. Wellson-writes in perfect print across the board. When she steps aside and I see the words, I can"t help but smile.
DANTE"S INFERNO.
It is summer, and I"m searching for a coffee shop beneath layers of dust, while Wesley Ayers sits backward on a metal chair. I can see the outline of a key beneath his shirt. The shared secret of our second lives hangs between us, not like a weight, but like a lifeline. I clean, and he rescues a book from a pile of sheets beside the chair.
"What have we here?" he asks, holding up the text.
Dante"s Inferno.
"Required reading," I tell him.
"It"s a shame they do that," he says, flipping through the unread pages. There"s a reverence in the way he handles it, his eyes skimming the words as if he knows them all by heart. "Requirement ruins even the best of books."
I ask him if he"s read it, and he says he has, and I admit I haven"t, and he smiles and tells me that books like this are meant to be heard.
"I"ll prove it to you," he says, flashing me a crooked smile. "You clean, I"ll read."
And he does. That first day, and for the rest of the summer. And I remember every word.
When the bell rings again, I"ve aced a pop quiz-the other students didn"t even have the decency to look annoyed when Ms. Wellson announced it-and gone a whole cla.s.s period without a nightmare, thanks to Cash and his coffee. I expect to find him waiting for me in the hall, but there"s no sign of him. (I"m surprised to feel a small pang of disappointment as I survey the stream of students in black and green, silver and gold, and come up empty.) The silvers and golds, however, all seem to be heading in the same direction, and since I know from the brochure that juniors and seniors all have Wellness-which as far as I can tell is just a pretentious way of saying gym-together before lunch, I decide to follow the current.
It leads out and across the lawn, beyond the ring of buildings to another majestic structure, this one all ancient stone and gothic accents. I finally catch sight of one of the sculptures Cash mentioned, a stone hawk perched on the mantel over the doors.
"The Hyde School hawk," he says, appearing beside me out of nowhere, and a little out of breath. "It"s our mascot. Said to represent insight, initiative, and ingenuity."
A cl.u.s.ter of junior girls are on the path several feet ahead of us; as Cash talks, one of them looks back and rolls her eyes. "Ca.s.sius Arthur Graham, I keep telling you, you can"t woo girls with school facts. Hyde history is never going to be a turn-on."
I feel my face go warm, but Cash doesn"t color at all, only smiles broadly. "It may surprise you, Safia, but not all of us open our mouths with the sole intention of getting into someone"s pants."
Her friends laugh, but the girl"s eyes narrow with the kind of irritation usually reserved for exes and younger siblings. Judging by her features-she has the same dark hair as Cash, hers pulled back into a ponytail, and the same gold eyes-I"m guessing she"s the latter. Cash"s comment seems to have hit a nerve, because Safia links her arm through her friend"s, shoots back a short string of nasty words, and hurries into the Wellness Center. Cash shrugs, unfazed.
"Sister," he confirms as we pa.s.s through the doors. "Anyway, sorry I was late. Mr. Kerry went off on one of his tangents-be glad you"ve got a year before you"re subjected to him-and kept us after. Have I sacrificed my knighthood? Or did my valiant display in the face of fire-breathing dragons just now win me some credit?"
"I think you can keep your shield."
"What a relief," he says, nodding toward his sister as her ponytail vanishes into the locker room. "Because I think I"ll need it later."
By the time I find my locker, prea.s.signed and prestocked with workout shorts and a T-shirt-I cringe at the sight of short sleeves, thankful I"m largely bruise-free (if not scar-free) at the moment-I"ve knocked into three different girls by accident and managed to avoid several dozen others. School is like a minefield: so many people, so little personal s.p.a.ce. Locker rooms are even worse, but I make it through with only a dull headache.
I watch the other girls peel off their necklaces and rings-what little jewelry Hyde allows-and stash them in their lockers before getting changed. I"m not about to relinquish my ring, but I fumble with the key around my neck, knowing it will draw more attention. If someone calls me out on the necklace, they"re bound to demand the rest of my jewelry comes off, too. I slide the key over my head and set it on the shelf, feeling too light without it.
I"m just tugging on my workout shirt when I hear someone shout, "Come on, Saf!"
"I"ll be right there," comes a now-recognizable voice. I look over to see Safia lacing up her sneakers at the end of the bench. She doesn"t look up, but there"s no one else around, so I know she"s talking to me when she speaks.
"You know it"s his job, right?" she asks, cinching her shoes.
"Excuse me?"
She straightens, tightening her ponytail before leveling her gaze on me. "My brother is a school amba.s.sador. Showing you around, making you feel welcome-it"s just another one of his duties. A job. I thought you should know."
She wants it to sting, and it does. But h.e.l.l if I"ll give her the benefit of letting it show.
"Well, that"s a relief," I say brightly. "He"s been so clingy, I was starting to think I"d led him on." I shut my locker firmly and stride past her. "Thanks," I add, patting her shoulder as I go. (It"s worth the sound of ripping metal in my head to feel her tense beneath my touch.) "I feel so much better now."
The outside of Hyde"s Wellness Center may sport the same old stone-and-moss facade as the rest of campus, but beyond the locker rooms-which act as gatekeepers to the gym-the inside is all whitewashed wood and gla.s.s and steel. There are smaller rooms branching off to one side and a pool branching off to the other, but the main training room is a ma.s.sive square. It"s subdivided into quadrants by black stripes on the floor and ringed by a track. I can"t help but brighten a little at the sight of the glittering equipment. It"s a pretty big step up from my makeshift gym on the Coronado roof.
I hug the perimeter, taking in the scene. A group is playing volleyball, another jogging around the track. Half a dozen students are breaking into fencing bouts; Safia stands with them, fastening her glove and flexing her sword. I"ve never fenced before, but I"m half tempted to try, just for the chance to hit her. I smile and take a few steps toward her when a shout goes up from the far side of the room.
On a raised platform near the edge of the ma.s.sive center, two students are sparring.
They"re standing in a kind of boxing ring minus the rope-both seniors, judging by the gold stripes that mark their gym clothes where the fabric peeks out from behind the pads. The gold is all I can see, since the rest of them is buried beneath padding; even their faces are masked by the soft helmets. A handful of students-I can just make out Cash among them, a fencing mask tucked under his arm-and a burly middle-aged teacher stand around, watching as the two boys bounce on their toes, punching, kicking, and blocking. The shorter of the two seems to be working a lot harder.
The taller one moves with fluid grace, easily avoiding most of the jabs. And then, between one blink and the next, he acts instead of reacts, thrusting one foot forward and low before planting his shoe at the last moment, turning on it, and delivering a roundhouse kick to the other boy"s head.
The boy ends up on his back, dazed but unhurt. I doubt anyone else noticed his opponent slowing his motion just before his foot connected, easing the blow. The teacher sounds a whistle, the students applaud, and the victor helps the defeated to his feet. He gives the shorter boy a quick pat on the back before the loser hops down from the platform.
I"ve managed to make my way across the fitness hall while watching the bout, and I"ve just reached the edge of the group of spectators when the victor gives a theatrical bow, clearly relishing the attention.
Then he tugs his helmet off, and I find myself looking up at Wesley Ayers.
FOUR.
WESLEY AYERS is the stranger in the halls of the Coronado.
He is the Keeper in the garden who shares my secret.
He is the boy who reads me books.
He is the one who teaches me how to touch.
And today, he is the guy on the stone bench, wearing a tux.
It"s the end of summer, and we"re sitting in the Coronado garden. I"m perched on one of the benches in workout pants and a long-sleeve shirt pushed up to the elbows, and Wesley is stretched out on the other in his best black and white. There"s only an hour or two left until his father"s wedding, but he"s still here.
Something is eating at him, I can tell. Something has been since he showed up, and I stupidly a.s.sume it"s just the fact that he hates his father"s fiancee, or at least what she means for his family. But he doesn"t offer any of his usual acerbic remarks, doesn"t even acknowledge the wedding or the tux. He just slumps down onto his bench and starts reciting the last of my required reading as if it"s any other day.
And then, somewhere between one line and the next, his voice trails off. I glance over, wondering if he"s asleep, but his eyes are neither closed nor unfocused. They"re leveled on me. I return the look.
"You okay there?" I ask.
A smile flickers across his face. "Just thinking."
He sets the book aside and pushes up from his bench, smoothing the front of his rumpled tux as he closes the gap between us.
"About what?" I ask, shifting to make room as he settles down beside me. He comes close, close enough to touch, his folded arm knocking against my shoulder, his knee against mine. I take a breath as his rock band sound washes over me, loud but familiar.
"About us."
At first, I barely recognize him.
Wesley"s hazel eyes are free of the eyeliner I"ve seen him wear all summer; his hair is still black, but instead of standing up, it"s stuck to his forehead with sweat; every bit of silver is missing from his ears. All his little quirks are stripped away, but he"s got those proud shoulders and that crooked smile, and his whole face is lit up from the fight. Even without the bells and whistles, it is still undeniably Wesley Ayers. And now that I see him, I don"t know how I didn"t see him earlier.
Maybe because Wesley Ayers-my Wesley-is supposed to be on some beach, bonding with his family.
My Wesley wouldn"t be here at this stuck-up school, wouldn"t lie to me about going here, and certainly wouldn"t look like he belongs here.
"Who"s next?" he asks, eyes glittering.
"I am," I shout back.
The spectators-all boys-turn collectively, but my gaze is leveled firmly on Wes. The corner of his mouth tilts up. Of course he"s not surprised to see me. He"s known for weeks where I was enrolled. He never said anything. No "Oh great, we can stick together." No "Don"t worry, you won"t be alone." Not even a "Well, what a coincidence." Why? Why didn"t he tell me?
"Now, young lady, I don"t think-" starts the burly gym teacher as I approach the platform and begin strapping on pads.
"I signed the waivers," I cut in, tugging on forearm guards, wondering if there even are waivers for this cla.s.s. It seems like that kind of school.
"It"s not about that," says the teacher. "This is hand-to-hand combat, and it"s important to match the students in terms of-"
"How do you know we"re not well matched?" I shoot back, cinching down a shin guard. "Unless you"re a.s.suming that because I"m a girl." I look the teacher in the eyes. "Are you a.s.suming that, sir?" I don"t wait for him to answer. I step up onto the platform, and he doesn"t stop me, which is good enough.
"Give the guy h.e.l.l!" shouts Cash as I pull the helmet on.
Oh, I think, I will.
"Hey, you," says Wesley as I meet him in the center of the platform.
"Hey, you," I mimic bitterly.
"I can explain-" he starts, but he"s cut off by the sound of the whistle.
I kick forward hard and fast, catching Wesley high in the chest before the shrill metallic cry has even stopped. The crowd gives a gasp as he falls, hitting the floor for only a moment before rolling over and pulling himself to his feet. I attack with another kick, which he blocks. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see we"re gaining a crowd. He throws a punch, which I dodge, followed by an uppercut, which I don"t. The wind rushes out of my lungs, but I don"t let it stop me from grabbing his fist and his wrist-pain thrumming up my own-and turning fast, flipping him over my shoulder.
He should hit the mat flat on his back, but somehow he twists midair and lands in a crouch, elegant as a cat. In a blink he"s up again and closing the gap between us. I arch back just in time to avoid a hit and recover fast enough to see an opening-left side, stomach-but I don"t take it. It"s been three weeks since Owen stabbed Wesley. Even though it doesn"t show in his stance, I know it still hurts him. I"ve seen the laughs cut short by a wince, the ginger way he stands and sits.
My hesitation earns me a swift kick to the chest, and I"ve got just enough time to hook my foot behind his knee and wrap my hand around his chest plate before I go down, taking him with me. I hit the mat hard and brace myself for Wesley"s weight to land on top of me; but his palms. .h.i.t the floor before his body hits me, and he manages to catch himself.