Owen gives me a pitying look. "We can"t just walk up to the front desk and rip the page out of the book. We need something to distract the Archive. We don"t need something long, but we need something bright." He gestures to the quad, where the stalls and booths and decorations are still being erected.
"Fall Fest?" I ask. "But how will something in the Outer distract the Archive?"
"It will," he says. "Trust me." Trust. Something I will never feel for Owen. Warning lights go off inside my head. The more factors, the less I can control.
"You and I, Mackenzie, we are the same." I attacked him once for that very idea, but this time I hold my tongue. "Everyone in the Archive has doubts, but theirs whisper and ours shout. We are the ones who question. We are the bringers of change. Those who run the Archive, who cling to their rules, are terrified of us. And they should be."
Something sparks inside me at the thought of being feared instead of afraid. I smother it.
"And tonight we will..." He trails off, eyes fixed on something down the path. Not something, I realize. Someone.
Wesley.
He"s standing on the path, holding his lunch tray and talking to Amber. I"ve been clinging to the hope that even if he saw him, Owen might not recognize Wes-the boy he stabbed on the roof of the Coronado had spiked hair and lined eyes and a different manner-but Owen frowns and says, "Didn"t I kill him?"
"You tried," I say as, to my horror, Wesley catches sight of me and waves before turning back to Amber.
"I saw him written on your skin, but I didn"t realize the marks were so fresh," says Owen, withdrawing his knife from its holster with one hand, gripping my arm with the other. "You"ve been keeping a secret," he growls, quiet forcing through my head.
He has nothing to do with our plans, I think as calmly as possible. But this time, the plural p.r.o.noun does nothing to placate Owen.
"He is a tether to the life you"re leaving," he says, tightening his grip. "A rope to be cut." He twirls the knife.
No. My mind spins with his blade. He can be salvaged. If your grand scheme is for the Keepers and Crew to rise up against the Archive, you"ll need every one of them you can get. And when the call goes out, he"ll stand with me. Killing him would be a waste.
"I"m not convinced of that," says Owen. "And don"t pretend to be pragmatic where he"s concerned."
"Fine," I say, pulling free of his touch, "if you don"t want to listen to logic, then listen to this: this isn"t Wesley"s fight. I haven"t dragged him into it, and neither will you. If you hurt him in any way, you will never get my help. Trust me."
Owen"s eyes harden. The knife stops spinning, snapping into his grip. For a second his fingers tighten on the handle. Then, to my relief, he puts the weapon away and falls in step behind me.
"Hey, you," says Wesley, waiting for me to reach him before setting off again toward the Court. My eyes go to his hands to make sure he"s wearing his ring. He is.
"Why weren"t you in Physiology?" asks Amber.
"Doctor"s appointment," I lie.
"We were just talking about the cops on campus," says Wesley. "Did you see them?" He"s asking another question underneath the words: Do you know why they"re here?
I shake my head. "No. Amber, do you know what"s up?"
"No idea," she says with a groan. "Dad"s not giving me anything."
"The elusive Mackenzie Bishop!" calls Cash as we reach the Court. "No lunch?"
"Not hungry," I say. Owen wanders over to the Alchemist and watches the scene unfold, and it"s all I can do to keep from looking at him.
"Missed you again in gym," he says. "Another meeting?"
I"m about to go with "doctor"s appointment" again, but Saf cuts in.
"Gee, what kind of meeting forces you to miss gym multiple days in a row?"
"Don"t be an a.s.s, Saf," shoots her brother. "You were sent to Dallas, like, seven times last year."
"It was three, jerk."
Cash turns his attention to me. "Point is, no big deal. We"ve all been there. Eventually your parents come up with an excuse, or the school does."
"What did they send you for?" I ask, eager to turn the attention on someone else.
"Hyperactivity," he announces proudly.
"Perfectionism," says Saf.
"Stress-induced anxiety," adds Amber.
"Antisocial tendencies," says Gavin.
All eyes go to Wesley. "Depression," he says, twisting a straw absently around his fingers. My heart aches at the thought of Wes suffering. I imagine us in bed, imagine myself pulling him in against me, wrapping my arms around him and warding off his demons. He"s worth it, I think. And I will not-cannot-drag him into this mess.
"And you, Mackenzie?" asks Cash, drawing my attention back. "What have you done to land yourself in Dallas"s office?"
My eyes flick toward Owen. "Apparently I have a problem with authority." I say.
"Is that why you can"t go to the dance?" asks Gavin. Owen frowns.
"Actually," I say lightly, "I"ll be there after all."
Wesley"s eyes light up. "Really?" he asks with a smile. It breaks my heart.
"Yeah," I say, forcing myself to echo his happiness. "Really."
I"m relieved as the conversation turns toward the more innocuous topics of whether Saf and Cash will put gold streaks in their hair and what color gla.s.ses Gavin will wear. I"m no longer looking at Owen or Wes, but I can"t shake the feeling that both pairs of eyes are still studying me. Wesley"s pretending to listen to something Amber says, but every time I look up, I notice him glancing my way, and Owen"s watching me like a hawk. And then Wesley"s attention starts drifting away from me toward the Alchemist, and it occurs to me for the first time that even though he can"t see Owen, he might be able to sense him. Owen seems to be realizing this, too. He stays quiet and still against the statue, his eyes narrowed in Wesley"s direction. Wes returns the gaze without seeing. They both frown.
Mercifully, the bell rings.
I practically spring to my feet. But as I turn toward cla.s.s, I feel Wes come up beside me. He knocks his shoulder against mine, but instead of his usual noise I"m hit with something"s off what"s going on did I do something distant pulling back does she know how much I missed her noise couldn"t sleep before I can put s.p.a.ce between us. I keep my ringless finger carefully out of his line of sight.
"Are you really coming tonight?" he asks as Owen appears at my other side.
"Wouldn"t miss it," whispers Owen.
"Wouldn"t miss it," I echo, stomach twisting.
"I can"t believe the watch and the warden gave in."
"Yeah, well"-they haven"t yet-"I can be very persuasive."
A pair of students calls to Wes across the quad. He hesitates. "Go on," I say. "I"ll see you tonight?"
"Can"t wait," he says with a smile before taking off across the gra.s.s.
"What"s going to happen tonight, Owen?" I ask when we"re alone.
"Why?" he challenges. "Are you having second thoughts?"
"No," I say before doubt can weaken the word. "As long as my friends don"t get hurt." Before he can reach out and read the questions in my skin, I turn and walk away, telling myself I will stop this before it goes too far.
But how far am I willing to go? And how can I possibly stop it when I don"t know what it is?
Owen shadows me all afternoon. I focus on the clock instead of his pacing form, and as soon as the last bell rings, I make my way toward the door in the shed, thinking that maybe, if I can get him to follow me into the Narrows, then- "This way," he says, changing course when we"re halfway there. My heart sinks as I follow him toward a copse of trees, where he stops and draws a key from a hidden pocket in his sleeve. His Crew key. It takes everything I have not to lunge for it. But we are nowhere near a real door, and I now know that sending him into the void isn"t a permanent solution. I have to shelve him, and only one key is going to let me do that, so I still myself as he lifts it to a spot in the air and the teeth vanish into nothing.
No, not nothing. A shortcut. Right here, at the edge of Hyde. Another reminder that this was Owen"s campus long before it was mine.
He turns the key and offers me his hand, and I do my best to clear my mind before I let him take it and lead me through.
My shoe hits the ground on the other side, and my heart lurches when I look up and see them. Gargoyles. We are standing on the Coronado roof. I suppress a shudder. How many of my nightmares have started like this?
But if Owen sees the strange poetry of our being here again, he doesn"t mention it-only looks out over the edge of the roof and down.
"The day I died," he says, "it was Agatha who gave the order. Alteration. I remember running, thinking for a second how strange it was to be on the other side of the chase. And then I got to the roof and knew what I had to do." He looks back at me. "Would you do it?" he asks. "To stay whole?"
I shake my head. "No," I say, turning toward the roof door. "But I wouldn"t go down without a fight."
Owen follows me. "Where are we going?"
"There"s still one thing standing in our way," I tell him.
His brow furrows. "What?"
"My mother."
Bishop"s is busy. A flock of students from the public school take up half the seats and, judging by Mom"s frenetic pace, have been ordering a slew of things. Berk is on the patio, and Mom"s behind the counter making drinks. Owen follows me in, his steps slowing as he sees the rose pattern on the floor. He stands there, looking down at it as I head up to the counter.
"Hey, Mom," I say, resting my elbows on the marble.
"You"re home early," she says, and I"m kind of amazed she knows what time it is, considering how many orders she seems to be juggling.
"Yeah, it turns out the bus is a pretty efficient mode of transportation. Still dirty, but efficient."
"Mm-hmm," she says, clearly distracted.
"Hey, so, there"s a party at Hyde tonight, and I was wondering-"
And just like that, her head snaps up from her work. "You"re joking, right?"
"I just thought maybe I could-"
She shakes her head. "You know the answer to this-"
"I know," I cut in, keeping my voice low, "and I wasn"t even going to bother asking, but Dallas said I should." For how often she drops her therapist"s name, mine should carry some weight. And sure enough, Mom quiets. "I know it"s a long shot," I say, hoping this doesn"t sound as rehea.r.s.ed as it is. "It"s just...I want to feel normal. I want to feel okay, and this-the house arrest, the hovering-I know I"ve earned it, but it"s the constant reminder that I"m not. And I know I"m not. I haven"t been okay for a long time, and I know I have a long way to go before I get there, but for one night I just want to pretend I"m already there."
I watch her begin to falter.
"Never mind," I start to say, adding a small waver to my voice. "I understand-"
"Okay," she cuts in. "You can go."
Hook. Line. Sinker. My chest loosens even as my heart sinks. "Thank you," I say, hoping my relief can pa.s.s for excitement. Then I do something that takes us both by surprise: I hug her. My head fills with tell her tell her you"re sorry can"t lose her was only trying to I can"t lose her too.
For once, instead of pulling away, I tighten my grip. "But you have to check in," she adds when I finally let go. I nod. "I mean it, Mackenzie. No disappearing. No antics."
"Promise," I say, turning to go.
"A rousing performance," says Owen as we head back upstairs. I don"t reply, because I don"t trust myself. Just a few more hours. A few more hours and I will return Owen to the Archive.
A few more hours and this will all be over.
"Not again." Owen"s voice is a low growl as we reach the third floor, and I look up from the steps through the gla.s.s insert to see what he sees. Wesley is leaning back against my door, holding a box. My stomach twists. Why is he making it so hard to keep him safe?
"Send him away," orders Owen.
I shake my head. "I can"t. He"ll suspect something is wrong. Just give me some time-"
"No," says Owen. "You said you wanted to leave him out of this, so do it."
"I"m not going to tell him anything. I just want..." I trail off. Owen"s eyes bore into mine, and I would give anything in this moment to be able to read his thoughts.
"How many good-byes did you get to say to Carmen?" I ask. "Please. Give me one."
Owen"s hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and I can feel him reading me for defiance, but I"m learning how to bury it. I am not a History. I am a human, and my life is messy and loud. I focus on the truths instead of the lies.
Truth: I am scared for Wesley.
Truth: I do not want to hurt him.
Truth: This is not his fight.
Truth: I cannot protect him from the Archive, but I can protect him from me.
Owen"s hand slides away. "Fine," he says. And even if he can"t feel the relief in my skin, I"m sure he can see it in my face. "I have a few finishing touches to put on tonight. Have your time with him, but don"t be late. The party starts at seven. The show"s at eight."
I nod and head out into the hall, feeling his eyes on me the whole way there. When Wesley sees me coming, he smiles.
"What"s with the box?" I ask.
"You have a Fall Fest to get ready for," he says. "I"ve come to help." He clicks a b.u.t.ton on the box, and it opens to reveal a dazzling array of makeup.