The Under Secretary

Chapter 13

"Of the future--when you are alone, I mean," he said gravely.

"What? Are you going abroad?"

He was silent again, his eyes fixed blankly upon the carpet.

"Perhaps," he said at last.

"And may I not go with you?" she asked in a tender tone of voice.

"No; that would be impossible--quite impossible." His strangely despondent state of mind puzzled her. She tried to penetrate the mystery which had so suddenly surrounded him, but was unable to see any light. She saw, however, that he was nervous and troubled, as though in fear of some dreadful catastrophe, and endeavoured by low words and soft caresses to induce him to lay bare his heart. She, who knew his every mood and every expression, had never seen him so utterly despondent or pathetic. At first she was inclined to attribute it to the failure of some move on the political chessboard; but he had a.s.sured her that such was not the case. She could only soothe him by making him feel the depth of her love.

The words she uttered recalled to him memories of days long past, recollections of the hours when innocence and youth combined to make them happy. Her voice was the same, as sweet and tender as of old; her face not less beautiful, her lips not less soft, her form just as slim and supple. Ah! how madly he had loved her in the days beyond recall!

He stood listening to her, but making no response. She was speaking of her devotion to him; of her regret that she had allowed herself to flirt with others. She did not know that her lover was hopeless and despairing--a man condemned to death by his own edict.

As she stood there, the diamonds on her wrist flashing in the lamplight, he looked at her long and earnestly, and once again marvelled at the radiant completeness of her beauty. Was there any wonder that such a woman was the leader of the smart world, or that every fad or fancy of hers should become the mode? No. She was even more lovely than in the old days at Winchester. Her splendid toilettes, often the envy of other women, suited her handsome features better even than the prim dresses she used to wear during her girlhood, and she wore jewels with the easy air of one born to the purple.

Their eyes met, and she with her woman"s intuition saw that he was admiring her, not less ardently than had been his custom until a week ago. In his eyes she detected a wistful look, as though he wished to lay his secret before her, yet dare not. There was a sadness, a look of blank desolation, in his face that she had never before seen there. It set her wondering.

She knew well the many grave official matters with which he was constantly called upon to deal at the Foreign Office; of the strain of speech-making in the House, and of the many weary hours spent in his private room with his secretary. Many a time he had confided to her the causes of his nervousness and gravity; and not infrequently she had been in possession of official secrets, which, unlike the majority of her s.e.x, she always preserved, knowing well that to divulge them would seriously compromise him.

Often and often, after an exhausting evening in the House, he had come to her at Albert Gate and cast himself wearily upon the blue sofa in her own cosy boudoir, while she, sitting at his side, had tenderly smoothed his brow. It was in those quiet hours that he had made her his confidante.

She referred to those occasions, and asked him whether he believed her any less trustworthy now.

"No, not at all, Claudia," he answered, speaking mechanically. "You cannot understand. The secret is mine--the secret of an incident of my past."

She was silent. His words were surprising. She thought that she was aware of all his past--even of follies perpetrated when he was sowing his wild oats; but it appeared that there was one incident, the incident now troubling him, which he had always carefully concealed from her.

"If the secret so closely concerns yourself," she said at last, "surely I am the person who may know."

"No," he replied briefly.

"But you have told me many other things of a delicate nature concerning yourself--why may I not know this, and help you to bear your trouble?"

she asked coaxingly. "However much you may despise me for my frivolity and vanity, you surely do not think me capable of betraying your confidence, do you?"

"No," he replied. "You have never betrayed any secret I have told you, Claudia, and I have no reason to suppose you would do so now. But this matter concerns myself--only myself."

"And you will tell me absolutely nothing?"

"I--I cannot," he declared brokenly.

A long silence again fell between the pair whose names had so long been coupled by the gossips. They certainly looked well suited to each other--he, tall, dark-faced, and undoubtedly handsome; she, brilliant and beautiful.

"Dudley, dear," she murmured after a pause, placing her hand tenderly upon his arm, "you are certainly not yourself to-night. You are in trouble over some small matter which your own apprehensions have unduly exaggerated. Probably you"ve been working too hard, or perhaps you"ve made a long speech to-day--have you?"

"I spoke this afternoon," he replied. The tone of his voice was unusually harsh.

"You want a little brightness and relaxation. Let us go on to the d.u.c.h.ess"s together, and we will waltz--perhaps for the last time."

Those words fell upon his ears with a terrible significance. Yes, it would be for the last time. In his gloomy state of mind her suggestion commended itself to him. What matter if people gossiped about them?

They might surely enjoy one last evening in each other"s society. And how many waltzes they had had together during the past two seasons! Yet this was to be the last--actually the last.

She saw his indecision, and hastened to strengthen her argument.

"Your words to-night, Dudley, have shown me plainly your intention is that we should drift apart. This being the case, you will not, I"m sure, refuse me the favour I ask. You will take me to the d.u.c.h.ess"s.

My brougham is below. I told Faulkes to return at eleven," she added, as she glanced at the clock. "Will you not have one last dance with me, if only as a tribute to the old happiness?" She spoke in the soft and persuasive voice that always charmed him. There were tears in her wonderful eyes.

"I am really in no mood for a ballroom crush," he answered. "You know that I don"t care for the Penarth set at any time."

"I know that. But surely you will let me have my own way just once more?"

"Very well," he answered reluctantly, with a deep sigh. "We will go, if you really wish it."

"Of course!" she cried gladly. She flung her arms about his neck and kissed him fervently on the lips.

Did she really love him? he wondered. And if she did, why did she act as it was reported that she had acted, flirting outrageously at all times and in all places with men whose companionship was detrimental to any woman"s good name? Why had she been planning for him to marry a girl who was unknown to him? No. He could not understand her in the least.

He touched the bell, and when Parsons came he ordered him to put out his dress-coat and gloves.

The old man glared at the visitor, for whom he used a t.i.tle no more distinguished than "that woman," and went off with a bad grace to do his master"s bidding.

"Parsons doesn"t like me in the least," she said with a laugh. "I wonder why?"

Though Chisholm knew the reason, he only smiled, and turned aside the rather awkward question.

Then, when the old man had put his head into the room, announcing that his master"s coat was ready, Claudia Nevill was left alone.

"I wonder what"s on his mind?" she mused, sinking into a low chair before the fire and resting her elbows upon her knees. "Something unusual has certainly occurred. I wonder what story has come to his ears?--something about me, of course." The white forehead so beautifully shaded by her dark hair, which had been well dressed by her French maid, Justine, clouded slightly, and she stared straight before her, plunged in a deep reverie; she was indeed a voluptuous _reveuse_.

Life that was _comme il faut_ had no attraction for her. She was reflecting upon all that he had said; upon the harsh criticisms and the ominous warnings of this man whom she had once believed she would marry.

Yes, what he had said was only too true. Her conscience told her that she had been at fault; that she had set his affection at nought, and had, in her mad struggle for supremacy in society, flung prudence to the winds. And those ugly scandals whispered here and there? What of them?

The mere thought of them caused her teeth to set firmly, and her shapely hands to clasp her cheeks with sudden vehemence.

"No," she said aloud in a mournful voice; "his affection for me has been killed by my own mad folly. It cannot have survived all this deception.

To-night is our last night together--the death of our love."

At that moment Dudley re-entered, having exchanged his dinner-jacket for a white vest and dress-coat, in the lappel of which was a gardenia.

Claudia roused herself quickly, and when she turned towards him her face betrayed no sign of the _tristesse_ of a moment before.

"I"m quite ready," he said, as, after b.u.t.toning his gloves and his coat, he turned towards the door to open it.

"This is my last visit to you, Dudley," she said, sighing deeply and gazing round the room with a lingering glance. "My presence here is no longer welcome."

What could he reply? He only looked at her in silence.

She was standing close to him, her pale face anxiously raised to his.

He divined her unuttered request, and slowly bent until his lips met hers.

© 2024 www.topnovel.cc